So much to say...............about so much...First of all I wish that Vince Young would stay at Texas for another year, but that said..I hope the cowboys get him...and not Houston..They already have a quarterback..not that we don't..we have an old quarterback...we need fresh blood...there was a great letter to the editor from a sooner fan(not ours)who said:"I should have known that any time a bunch of Sooners are rooting for Texas, and a Who's Who lineup of Hollywood stars and musicians is cheering for a guy named Bush, something magical was bound to happen."yup...we win...another note from Hollywood...."As an avid watcher of the Oscars, I can't help but be a little disappointed with the choice.""Daily Show" with Jon Stewart, on being named host of this year's Academy Awards telecast.....If you all don't know I am telling you now..I am not much of a car person...not have been interested in cars since about 1959, with the exception of my blue cj-5 Jeep..But in todays Dallas paper was a picture of a truck that really got to me...It is the Ford F250 Super Chief..with a front end like a locomotive...man..it is killer...swinging, cool, far out and tottaly with it...I wonder how much the gas mileage is..?but it is so purty...I think I will save my forest gump rant till I get better organized..But what really got to me was the article on the wages of Dallas area football coaches...Almost half at high scohhols make twice the average teacher salary.For proof that football is the undisputed king of Texas high school sports, you need to look no further than what area school districts are paying head coaches.Their average salary is $82,179.16, and nearly half are paid at least twice what an average teacher makes.The highest paid are the coach from Ennis who makes $106,044, where the average teachers pay is $42.766.There is a list of coaches and their pay compared to the teachers..but it is so disgusting that I can't type it and not gag.....Here we have everyone from the parents to good hair Perry takling about making childrens education a priority and then there is this...fucking unbelievable...I know football is the king in texas, but I would rather see our students grade level go up and than the coaches pay check.what I find interesting in that 14 of the 20 highest-paid coaches did not make the playhoffs this season....so talk about not getting the bang for your buck....fuck me till I flunk
Received an email from the Kinky Krew and the are having a rally of sorts to get him on the ballot...Going to have it at Poppa Rollo's Pizza place on Valley Mills Dr. in Waco, yes that Waco, Texas. It will be held on Monday at 7pm..I am going and going to try and round up some dead beats to go with me..already emailed my friend Michael (of the Texas snake handlers Michael). Called Jenny but she and everyone were at the Baylor girls basketball game.(my ticket must have got lost in the mail).Will call her later and see if her and her and any of her friends would like to go..also will ask David Oden.any one I can find...See if we can rally waco, west and surrounding areas into the kinky kamp...GO KINKY....GO KINKY...Any one in texas interested in going...you should try and make it..Poppa Rollo's makes kick ass pizza...gets voted best pizza every year...going to go look up shit on the web..Im bored...so beautiful out but have no urge to go out into the world any further than the front porch...fuck me till I get some energy
Just in case no one has noticed I feel it is my duty to tell you, that Neil Diamond has big fat ugly ears...realy...check 'em out..go to some Neil Diamond web site and check out his ears..gross...icky..and disgusting .. I have always loved his music...but don't think I will ever be able to listen to Cherry Cherry without thinking of them big ass hairy ears..Another disturbing piece of news.If Elvis had lived..he would be 71 fucking years old..That makes me feel older than the fact that I have teen aged granddaughters and my baby is 32 years old...fuck me till I wear support hose.remember the Baptis pastor who got busted for propositioning a cop? well, the dear boy has resigned from his duties..citing personal reasons....and remember when I said his name was familar to me...??Well, I talked with some friends and think(not sure but pretty sure) that I used to know him from Waco..he was a house painter and had been known to have the cutest bunch of helpers of any painting crew...and then he sorta disappeared and .......moved to Oklahoma..he was a minor pastor in one of the Baptist churches in Waco...soo it is a possiblility...I always liked him...he was nice to me and didnt stare at my tits all the time..so I didn't care who he had sex with....small world..fuck me till I paintone of my favorite head lines in dallas am news.....49% IN POLL FAVOR DEMOCRATIC CONTROL OF CONGRESSIn an ominous election-year sign for Republicans, Americans are leaning sharply toward wanting Democrats to take control of Congress, an AP-ipsos poll finds.Democrats are favored 49 % to 36%.President Bush's job approval remains low--40 % ...now for my little statement on this article...now if we had some Democrats with some balls to take advantange of this..we would be in the good..but all we have are a bunch of weak sister wussies, afraid to make a stand on anything for fear of pissing someone off..they are more concerned with losing votes than they are in winning them...dipshits..and as for all those assholes who are running to give back the donation money they got from Abramoff, I would be more impressed if they took back the vote that the money bought...fuckers..and will close with this bit of news from Penn Jielette of Penn and Teller....who says..."Believing there is no God gives me more room for belief in family, people, love, truth, beauty, sex, jell-o and al the other things I can prove and that makes life the best I will ever have...may the goddess bless you....jackie
Don't fuck with mother nature..I thought I was being so smart last night...I knew that taking both of my blood pressure pills makes me a little groggy, so thought wow, I will take them and my fancy smancy new sleeping pill together..took them at 10 pm and some time about midnight I typed (if you can call it that) this weird ass email to babs...she must think I have completely lost my mind...I remember this morning that it took me for ever to get it typed out and must have been 6 pages long..looked at the sent mail dept in my email and was barely 2 sentences...was like in code...none of it made sense at all...scared the shit out of me when I got up this morning and realized...that is considered a slip in aa...lucky for me I don't belong in aa...but it certainly is a notch in my no no belt...so I am tossing the rest of the ambiem..if I can't get to sleep by 1am and only get 4-5 hours sleep..well tought shit jackieusue....no more pills..been there done that...sorry about the weird ass email babs....I out smarted my self..and it's not like I even enjoyed my sleep...kept thinking ...oh, jackie you have done scrwed the pooch...this is bad...you should have know better...what the fuck have you done...am ate up with the fucked up bug..shit...well, it is done and over but a lesson well learned...no mas...It's not like I want to run down and get a bunch more and keep doing it..I would rather someone shoot me right between my beady eyes that do that shit again...was no fun...ickypoo...there is nothing in the world more comforting to me than a clear head..too many years of trying to get my ass out of my head...(yes, I meant to say that)...Matter of fact that was mentioned when I went to old corner drug store and got the 7 pills..they all mentioned that they had not seen me in the longest time...said yes, I had kicked all the pain pills, anti-depressents and was pill free...which was astonishing to them as they were the ones I saw evey month to get my pills...for 7 years...told them the last 2 pills were the hardest to kick...considering I was at 30+a day when I decided to wean myself off of them...should have fucking known better to take the pill in the first place...stupid stupid stupid..dip shit jackiesue...well,I always said I had to learn a hard lesson to learn...and did...fuck me till I trip and fall
At exactly 12:15am..I went to sleep...and slept..and slept...and slept...slept till 9:30am..I did get up during night to go pee but went right back to sleep..But my back is killing me...not used to being in bed for that length of time and feel like I have been on a bed of nails...Need a new mattress so bad..But, fuckit I slept so good..was a little groggy when I got up and when mojo called all giggly about today being the day they move into new apt. she asked if I was ok...said just groggy from sleeping pill..where she automatically paniced...(oh, god, mom's on pills again.) told her I only had 7 and if I continued to feel so groggy I wouldn't take any more..Will try it one more night...but the sleep was sooo good...don't know if my back can take that much bed time though...MY back has suffered thru 4(or5 cant remember) operations..last one they put in a cage...or is called 360..where they go thru the front and the back and build a cage around the spine that is injured..except my spine is so riddled with spurs and so brittle that the screws would not hold and they ran out of bone from bone bank(yes I have a bone bank).so they sort of just gave up as I had been in operating room for over 7 hours..all these surgeries come from years of working in lumber companies, paint stores,book stores, etc.. always so intent in being as strong as the guys, so I always lifted more and carried it farther...one time i actually was carring so many bags of texture that one of the guys asked me to quit that i was forcing them to carry more than me and it was killing them...pussies...so after all those years of lifting and carrying i thought i would be safe in a book store...yeah right....one night at closing I was putting books back on the shelves that peple had pulled out read thru and didnt put back where they belonged...book went on the top shelf of a 6 ft. book shelf...so as iam short I stood on bottom shelf and reached up to book on top shelf....i acually heard the "pop" sound...felt this pull and burn in the back of my left thigh...that was all everything was fine...went home...got up next am and went to get out of bed and fell flat on my face..pain was horrible..couldnt put weight on it at all...but we were in process of opening the new hastings store and as I was book dept manager had to be there and supervise, etc...i worked for 3 days in so much pain i cried..( i dont cry at pain)finally they let me off to go to dr. and never been back to work..except for a few days...when i stood on my tip toes my spine arched and when i relaxed..my spine snapped back down on my nerve....where it remained pinched for almost 7 years(they never could figure out what was wrong .till the last dr. )so now my nerve is so damaged that i fall alot(not fun..but intertaining)cant feel anything in right foot and leg up to my mid calf..sometimes my right food hurts so bad from within that it feels like its in a vice...I have leg cramps so bad I have ohhhh...ohhh..ohhhh.....ah fuck that hurts..on tape..so I dont have to say it any more.It is also the reason I can't work...although i would give my little left tit to get a job that I could do for about 4 hours a day..as that is all my ole back and legs can handle...but when you go on job interview and tell them yes i want the job but since my back and legs are so fucked up..i can only work 4 hours a day...well, it tends to make them holler...Next....I think the thing that makes it worse for me..is the social security that I receive is survivors benefits..To me it is pretty hard to swallow to get money for shooting your husband...but there is a little irony there too.speaking of which..going to go spend some of jack's money on a dublin dr.pepper..all this whining about my back and all has made me realize I haven't had my dubin Dr.Pepper this month...so adios ya'll.....may the goddess bless you..
ROBINSON:GOD HAS PUNISHED SHARON.The Rev. Pat Robertson suggested Thursday that Isali Prime Minister Ariel Sharon had suffered a stroke as punishment from god for dividing the land of Isreal.Ralph G. Neas, president of People for the American Way Foundation, an advocacy group, criticized the broadcaster."Once again, Pat Robinson leaves us speechless with his insensitivity and arrogance," Mr. Neas said.Well, it doesn't leave me speechless...this comment and others he has said over the years has convinced me that it is a sign to change teams...come over to the side of the Goddess...she will not judge you, condemn you for not being white,straight or being outside of the norm.She has a Bible of sorts.....it incourages you to think good of others and to do good deeds..easy rules to live by.But I will pass on this little word of wisdom....if you read in the paper or see on the news that Rev. Pat got a bolt of lightnign up his ass...well, the Goddess dosen't suffer fools lightly.....
IROC WILL RUN ROAD RACE AT DAYTONAThe Crown Royal International Race of Champions series will have a road-course event as part of its four-race schedule this season for the first time in 14 years.IROC will race twice at Daytona in Feb.17 and June 29.the June race will take place on the 3.56-mile road course.IROCalso returns to Texas Motor Speedway on April 7 and ends the season at Atlanta Motor Speedway on Oct. 28...THREE CITIES ARE FINALISTS FOR NASCAR HALL.NASCAR officials announced that Atlanta, Charlotte and Daytona Beach, Fla.,are the three finalists for the NASCAR Hall of Fame. Kansas City was believed to be the leading candidate, but it joined Richmond, Va., as the two cities that were eleminated...by the way..? did you get your package???
Splitsville? MSNBC is reporting, courtesy of dish from the upcoming Life & Style Weekly, that the TOM/CATwedding may be on hold. Word is that Thom Crise had a difficult holiday stay with Katie Holmes and her relatives. "Tom an Katie ended up leaving..three days earlier than they planned>" an insider says."Katie was in tears, but that's standard when it comes to dealing with family members and Tom." A Cruise spokesman denies the story.....sorry...I made a mistake...there is no bad news with this....yuck yuck...fuck me till I jump on a couch...
The boys basketball team won 4 of 6 games...and are looking good...I was under the impression that we hadn't been hurt by lack of rain as we got it when we needed it...well, we did, but not enough...West received 22.51 inches of rain in 2005 unlike 2004 where we received 48.71 inches..McLennan County has been designated as a primary disaster area and our farmers will get low interest loans...Jan. 10th THE HEART OF TEXAS GRASSROOTS DEMOCRATS will hold ther quarterly meeting at the West community Center which is right next to the library.Everyone is invited to attend as there will be presentations and discussions of current,local, state and national politics.I may haul my ass there and see what they are up to. Wonder if I can talk them into not voting in the primary and vote for Kinky Friedman...bunch of old farts...I'll flash my titties at them and show them my cowboy helmet tattoo...that should be good for one vote for kinky...West had one birth, one engagement, one birthday and 4 deaths...them czech's better get busy making babies..we're falling behind...Still no word from the railroad people..fuckers....There is a great house for sale..3 bedroom, 2 bath, central a/c & heat. nice kitchen and living room.for $39,900..some one has free puppies and looking for a home...I have convienced myself not to get any dogs..no matter how cute and how great they smell.....I love that puppy smell..like I told Jax on his blog...if men smelled like puppies I would fuck them more..That's it...nothing going on in West at all...I ventured out today ..picked up my free blood pressure meds from Dr. Eisma...and they called in a script for 7 ambien as I had a coupon...tried to give it away but no takers...so thought I would give it a try and see if I can get 8 hours of sleep...I can't remember the last time I had 8 hours of sleep...Usually get from 4-6 hours...Went by the library and checked out some books...can't seem to concentrate on the ones I have...was going to go to the store but it was about 5:30 and that is when everyone hits the store and nothing like being in our little store when it is packed...I find myself rotating my head and neck....like I am being roped by something. I came home and tried some of the tea that the girls gave me for Christmas....with the cute little sayings on the back...Like The Lotus tea..and it says on the back.."Taso Lotus Decaffeinated Green Tea reincarnates highly prized Chinese green teas in a delicate brew of amazing sublety and power. And thus, life goes on."(Life would go on a lot better if I was drinking this tea on an island in the pacific being catered to my natives dressed only in Niki shoes...)African Red Bush....(I see so many jokes here, I won't even go for them..will let you do it on comments)..."Some say all human beings descended from a single African primate named Lucy. If it's true, she probably enjoyed taking a break from the kids with a soothing Taso Red Bush tea."(my guess whenLucy (realy native name kwanzamae) was through putting her little rug rats down for bed in the cave that was decorated with the hides from okapi,hippo, and monkey, would douse her self with flea killer and drink what ever was left.)Have to go to Dave Letterman's web site and read his top 10 list for tonight...pretty funny...I gathered all my dirty clothes and am prepared to do laundry...about 5 loads...judas priest I hate to do laundry...it would almost be worth it to adopt a kid just so I could teach it how to do the laundry...going to take my ambien and see if it works...if you don't see me the rest of the night...you'll know it worked...fuck me till i snore...oh wait..I already do...
I swear that the little articles that are stashed away in the back of the paper next to the huge ads for dept. stores, suv's or Bank's..are the best news of the day...Not the front page or the editorial pages...but these:
Says he:"Any girl who is interested must simply be born female and between the ages of 18 and 45.They must have have an IQ above 130 and they must be honest...No deformities, third legs, fifth nipples...I'm completely alone and I'm completely miserable." Sean Lennon announcing an open call for a new girlfriend, to the New York Post.Holy shit...maybe if your mother wasen't the hellish creature that broke up the beatles, screaches like a wounded hare in a trap and calls it singing....you might get some pussy..But then I also took a look at the picture of you by the article..and sweety......cut your hair, shave your face and get out of the discarded army fatigues..you look like shit. Although when I think of all the money you have.................................your not so bad looking and the past is the past..if paul can move on..so can I....wait..(reading back over the stipulations...hmm)..no 5 nipples and under 45...well..that let's me out...so fuck you and your harpy mother...ARTIST IN REMOTE AREA CHAINS LEGS, LOSES KEY...( I swear I didn't make this up)Baker, Calif. An artist who chained his legs together to draw a picture of the image, hopped 12 hours through the desert after realizing he lost the key and couldn't unlock the restraints, authorities said Wednesday. Trevor Corneliusien, 26, tightly wrapped and locked a long, thick chain around his bare ankles Tuesday while camping in an abandoned mine shaft, San Bernardino County Sheriff's Deputy Ryan Ford said. Mr. Corneliusien finally made it to a gas station and called the sheriff's department, which sent paramedics and deputies with bolt cutters.So, let me get this straight.....some asshole goes down into an abandoned mine shaft to draw a picture of his legs in chains.....loses the key and has to hop 12 hours to get some help....I am almost at a loss for words...JUDAS FUCKING PRIEST....What a fucking idiot...they should have left him chained up..if he's free,only the Goddess knows how much more trouble that dufus can get into...i know for sure somehow..this ashole is going to end up on the Jimmy Kimmel Show bragging about his adventure...fuck me till im on the Jimmy Kimmel show/BAPTIST GROUP OFFICIAL CHARGED WITH LEWDNESS.Oklahoma City..(you remember the judge that was wacking off was from Oklahoma ..I see a trend here)An excutive committee member of the Southern Baptist Convention was arrested on a misdemeanor lewdness charge, accused of asking a plainclothes policeman to join him in his hotel room for oral sex, police said. Lonnie Lathan, 49, senior pastor at South Tulsa Baptist Church, told reporters that he was "set up". I was in the area pastoring to police."when is the last time you ever saw a pagan getting arresting for sexual crimes?it's always them damn catholics and baptists....sinner sinner....sin.....er....fuck me till i cavort ( for some reason I think I know this guy...Lonnie Lathan sounds sooo familar...really.....)and last but not least...this statement from kinky friedman on the annoucement that state comptroller Carole keaton-Strayhorn has tossed her hat into the governors race as an independent.."There's plenty of room in the hot tub, and she's welcome."my statement is....lets see..... how many more parties are there for her to belong to.? she started out a democrat.....switched to the republican party....and now she is an independent..this bitch would join the kkk if she thought it would get her elected to a higher office than comptroller..fuck me til i run for office.arencha glad you have me to report the news to you...??
We are the champions...my friend....we are the champions till the end......we are the champions...we are the champions.. we are the champions....(voice cracks)we are the champions....This doesn't make up for the lousy cowobys season..but almost does...I did so enjoy the looks of disbelief and sorrow on the faces of the fans. I know that is tacky...but hey..fuck 'em....hook 'em horns...my cousin michael called (remember my cousin from blogster?) and we talked all the way from half time till end of game...then mojo called and we talked some...celebrate..dance to the music........they eyes of texas are upon you....all the live long day.....the eyes of texas are upon 
yoouuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!ah, life is good...Now if we can squeak thru next season with bledsoe maybe we can draft vince young from Texas....did you see his stats? 447 yards throwing and over 300 yards rushing..holy shit...they may have 2 heisman trophy but we have the championship...hahahahahahahahhh...ha ha....ha....ha........................................................hafuck me till i score...
rooting for them longhorns....gooooooooo texas.......kick them rubbers in the ass...........
I read the Some days paper or watch the news and I think:"what the fuck?"........today is one of those days...these are 3 short little articles that I found in my favorite paper the Dallas Morning News..POLICE:TEENS STOLE BABY JESUS STATUES.Sayreville, N.J.----Four teens stole 27 baby Jesus statues from Nativity scenes outside churches and homes and planned to burn them, police said.Two of the suspects, who ranged from 15 to 19 years old, said they acted out of boredom, authorities said."They were looking for things to do," Detective Ken Kelly said. "They told us,"We were going to have a baby Jesus burning party.'" One suspect told detectives, "We just wanted to see their heads burning," Detective Kelly said. The suspects, who were arrested Monday, face charges of theft, criminal mischief, destruction of venerated objects and conspiracy, and could face up to five years in prison if convicted.oh please Goddess, let me be the judge, please, pretty please...because I would sentenece them to community service that would rock their world..I would have them work in childrens burn wards in local hospitals, hospices for aids victims, soup kitchens in the worse parts of towns and make them do it for 5 fucking years...bet they will never be bored again.then there is this one:Ex-Judge to stand trial in indecent exposure case.Bristow, Oklahoma...Former Judge Donald Thompson was ordered to stand trial on indecent exposure charges Tuesday after his former court clerk testified that he often masturbated while sitting at the bench during trials.Mr. Thompson , 59, who resigned in August 2004, faces arraignment Jan. 26.My first thought is how long did the clerk know about this activity and why didn't he speak up sooner.? Now please, let me be his judge too...I would sentence him to 1 year of neutering all those pit bulls they want fixed in Oklahoma...After chopping off doggie nuts all day long for 365 days...I bet he will never get a hard on again...try and jackoff with that little image in your head Judge Donald....I am not sure I believe this one:ALL THAT TRAINING PAID OFF:MAN SAY CAT MADE 911 CALL.Columbus, Ohio...A man who fell out of his wheelchair say his cat apparently called 911 for help.Police received a 911 call from Bary Tosheisen's apartment Thurdsay, but there was no one on the line.When they called back and got no answer, they decided to check things out.In the apartment, they found Tommy the cat lying by a telephone on the living room floor."I know it sounds kind of weird," Officer Patrick Daugherty said.Mr. Rosheisen was unable to get up because of pain from osteoporosis and ministrokes that disrupt his balance. He also wasn't wearing his medical-alert necklace and couldn't reach a cord above his pillow that alerts paramedics that he needs help.Mr. Rosheisen said he got the cat three years ago and tried to train him to call 911, unsure whether the training ever stuck.The phone in the living room is always on the floor and includes a speed dial for 911.Maybe I am a cynic...but even coming from Texas where the tales get pretty fucking tall, I find this tale a tad hard to believe..I can't even teach my cat to open the door by himself when all he has to do is push and pull...and he knows how......he just won't do it as long as I get up and do it for him...fuck me till I purr.
2005 was the third worse year for U.S. extreme-weather events, according to the national Climatic Data Center. For 2005's first 11 months the nation had an extreme-climate index of 35, behind only 1998's 43 and 1934's 37.The average annual score is 20. The year began with a record down-pour in the Nevada desert and record warmth in Alaska, and it's ending with floods in California and wildfires in Texas and Oklahoma that kiled at least 4 people and consumed over 100,000 acres. Along the way, at least 214 climate records were smashed or tied thanks to a slew of hurricanes, 21 straight days of 100-degree plus temperatures in Fresno, Calif,. and firefires tht have burned 8.64 million acres, nearly a quarter-million more than the previous recrod, set in 2000. Extremes were everywhere. Above-normal heat covered twice as much land as usual.Excessive rain and /or snow blanketed three times as much land as normal.Average daily low teperatures were warmer than normal across four times as much U.S. territory as in average years..One form of extreme weather fell short, however:tornadoes.in 2005, there were only half as many killer U.S. tornadoes as recent norms. Scientists argue if global warming is to blame...well do'h fucking do'h..........fuck me till a tornado snatches me from the grip of reality...
They tallied up all the votes and the city of Houston was elected the Texan of the Year..I wasen't the only one that voted for Kinky Friedman...Even Parcells got votes. But the city of Houston got it for all the things they did for the people of New Orleans. They took in an estimated 150,000 people...I am proud of most of the state for what they did for our neighbors.Some of my fellow Texan's showed their true colors...white sheets...wouldn't let a bus full of people looking for a home in their town..That was up in east Texas where it isn't even 1957..it is 1857...makes me ashamed...But the rest of the state are still helping and doing what they can ..I read in the paper all the time about families still being helped. Wonder who will come to the aid of all those people that lost their homes in the fires? One farmer had just bought $20,000 of hay for his livestock and the fire not only took that, it took his home, barn, equiptment, etc. Wonder who will help him? Dear Goddess...can you send us some rain?.We need it ...and need it soon...thank you very much..jackie
Article in the Dallas Morning News.................................PIT BULLS ARE THE ENEMIES IN PROPOSED OKLAHOMA LAW...Under the propsed Oklahoma law, current pit bull owners would be required to build childproof, 8-foot-high fences, spay or neuter existing pit bulls; and carry a $100,000 liability insurance policy on each dog.Further, the measure would prohibit the sale or tansfer of pit bulls to anyone in Oklahoma, except family members, and block residents from importing new pit bulls from out of state.The rest of the article is 'kill them monster dogs"..or people who think the law is wrong.At least they aren't saying they should all be killed...or moved out of city limits like Denver, Colorado.. I think more attention should be paid to the owners who don't keep them fenced or on leashes or under any type of control...Owners should be held responsible..maybe if they had to pay a huge ass fine everytime their dog was ticketed they would be more responsible..But that is all dogs...even that savage pack of killer chiwawa's.., that attacked that guy in california...get them fuckers under control...the streets won't be safe as long as they are running lose..fuck me till I heel, sit, lay down and roll over..
I didn't go to sleep till 6am or so....just got into this book and didn't want to stop.So I am snoozing away and phone rings at 9am...I think........fuckit.....keep snoozing..stops ringing....5 minutes later...starts ringing again...well, i know it has to be one of the granddaughters with some sort of a teenage emergency or mojo telling new joke with her new fake accent she has decided to use, 'cause she is goofy..So I answer the phone...it's Jennifer calling from her dad's, his computer is on the blink she needs to copy her applicaation for transfer to new college and needed it done now...said come on over...so get up, pee, get dressed, brush teeth, stare at hair and sort of try and flatten it as it is so short and I lay in bed on sides only, so when I get up it sort of resemble the hair on a cupie doll...or johnny jackass in his new movie...give up and go get paper and read it till Jenny get's there..thinking 30 minutes tops...she gets there at fucking noon..I could have gone back to bed and slept for 3 more hours...she does all this rushing around ...getting it all done, having me call all over town to the drs. 'cause she needs a tb test or can't enroll....Now this is west....all the drs. go to lunch at 12 and come back at 2pm..all of them..don't ever get sick between noon and 2pm ...you will croak before they leave their 2 hour lunch to come back to the office...so as we are waiting till they come back from their lunch..I ask her, Jenny how long have you known you had to have this test done and your paper work in?........"3 weeks.".....we stare at each other for about 3 minutes..she finally drops her head and grins.....I say.."enough said".....ha..Then the phone rings again and a unfamiliar voice says"this must be aunt jackie".....I say "yes?"......it is my nephew Phillip, who I have met like 3 times in our lives..the last time at his mother's funeral...( the first since he was a baby). His mother is my 1/2 sister...She died last summer...she was 8 years older than me and we never lived together as she lived with my mother's mother and sister...but when we got older we became close..I didn't get to see the kids much, but always wanted to know them better...we connected at the funeral and then both of us lost each others address's...he found mine today, and I still cant find his.....but we are in contact now and it is really terrific...he is an artist and very good one he says...his mother was very good..drew great exotic incan women, egyptians, and aztec...great murals...so....now I have a nephew to bond with..so cool...he lives in Flower Mound, Texas. Hope to get in touch with his 2 brothers too..very excited about this new relative...thru emails I told him I hated george w, republicans and evangelical christians...passed that test...he does'nt like forest either...told him about my blog..warned him before hand...was not for the faint hearted ...he's game..said he might start one too...his wife is a writer...nice day...went to post office and mailed babs her package and sooner his faulty towers book...so good day...now, I am off to feed Rocky and watch Letterman....may the goddess bless you, jackie
The other evening Jamie was over for the last of my brocolli, cheese, asparagus, ham and cream of mushroom soup and we were just bullshitting and she related a story that didn't have her coming out smelling like a rose...I groaned and said:"Jamie, you know there is only one thing left for Grandma to do, so come here."....she squealed and covered her head with her hands, laughing and yelled:" no bipping ...no bipping.."...what a great grandma I am..Danny Thomas years ago said one good way to know if your a good parent is when you raise your arm all the kids in the family cover their heads and duck....arencha glad I'm here to teach you parenting skills?
A small Austrian village has a tourist crime problem.Visitors keep stealing the signs announcing the town's name.It starts with an F, ends with "ing" and no way it gets printed in an English-language newspaper.(which is why you have me......ta da..the name of the town is Fucking....)the signs are now set in concrete, and police chief Kommandant Schmidtberger says guests are being watched.
"We will not stand for he (Fucking)signs being removed", he said....or as i would say..."We will not stand for the fucking Fucking signs to be removed."
I personally thing we should all put in money in a start up business and make signs up that say "Fucking, Austria....69 miles"....we would be able to buy out Donald Trump in 69 weeks....arencha glad you have me for this..?
There are so many of our fellow bloggers that suffer from depression that when I saw this article in the Dallas Morning News I felt i had to share it with you all.It is in the Science and Medicine section from Jan. 1st. There is a depression treatment being studied.. at UT Southwestern.Researchers found that about 1/3 of patients experienced a total remission, which means they could return to the level of function they had before the depression hit.Almost half experinced some improvement. I think the trials were done with the medication Celexa.there is a questionaire that you can down load from the study's web site at www..star-d.org.I think the reason they did the study with Celexa is that they are close to having a generic form on the market soon and it lingers in the blood stream for the right amount of time.Something I didn't know was nearly 1 in 10 people suffer from depression with women affected twice as often as men.i think if you want to read the entire article you can go to Dallas Morning News.com and go to Jan 1st and see if you can find the science and medicine section..Hope this helps someone..jac
I am over my ranting and raving about the cowboys. I swear.It is done..The season is over and I must move on...I will not dwell in the house of pain any more. I will not replay in my mind the senseless mistakes, dropped footballs, over thrown balls, missed fucking field goals,losses of less than 4 points.the inability to beat the miserable spread you fucking dimwits...No I will not pass that way again.No I will not wallow in anger and resort to name calling, throwing asperions on your man hood you bunch of fucking pussies..no I will not lower my self to taking cheap shots(like getting drunk and pissing behind the local taco bell 3 days before the final game of the season you weak sistered ass wipe)..no not me...I will move on to other things..I will not look back over my shoulder and see regrets and missed oppurtunities like you missed that catch you fumble fingered sonofabitch...I am a bigger person than that...I will mark this season off as a lesson learned...the cowboys need a better quarterback and stronger offense and a new fucking kicker...yes,the season is over...I will be stronger for this...as I hope the team will be..because they need strength, especially in the line...special teams and learn to fucking tackle while you're at it you dipshits..I digress...I don't want to appear to be a bad sport and certainly do not want to wish bad luck to any team...but I do wish the Philadelphia Eagles should never win another game and they should all get the clap...may the goddess bless you..jackie
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK.....
sonofabitching motherfucking goddamn sonofamotherfuckingsonofabitching cocksucking bastids....knew they would lose..first time I root for the (see above) and they fucking lose...im pissed.im ......im......just soo..im...oh. fuckit..im the direct opposite of happy motherfucker..the skins are in and the cowboys out and why? why you ask? why? cause them sonofabitching motherfucking goddamn sonofamotherfuckingsonofabitching cocksucking bastids...lost the motherfucking game...to the fucking washington redskins...isnt that fucking name supposed to be illegal as it is insulting to the real fucking indians????I hope the fucking skins lose in the first game of the playoffs...I am so pissed I don't even know if I want to see the final cowboy game of the season..Them fuckers better beat the spread...shit, piss fuck, damn.fuck me till I shit eagle feathers.
I JUST FOUND OUT THAT I WILL BE FORCED TO ROOT FOR THE FUCKING EAGLES TO INSURE THE COWBOYS A PLAYOFF SPOT AS THE CAROLINA WON....PLEASE.......SOMEONE KILL ME NOW........
