.......HOG HEAVEN.......

Yes, folks...old yellowdoggranny is one happy old lady...not only did the cowboys win....45-35(sorry Buddha_Girl)...but the fucking Philadelphia Eagles lost...Yes, there is a Goddess and she did good..So for for this week I am 9-3-1..Still 2 games tonight so depends on how they go for my final bets..I am going to have my bookies summer home at the end of the season if this keeps up.

The only thing bad about our win was how badly our defense sucked..hell, I'm a crippled old lady and can tackle better then them guys did last night..and special teams?...wasn't so special...we have injuries, but JJ has the bucks so he needs to get us some replacement players..But I can't tell you how I love to look at my TV and see Coach Wade Phillips on the side line...you can see every play in his face..he grimaces, grins, frowns, rolls his eyes,scrunches up his face...it's all there..every play..I love it...and when they score..oh my Goddess,the grin goes from ear to ear and it is a joy to behold...just a contrast from that smirking/snarling face of that old Yankee coach Bill Parcells,before...a pox on him..hooray for my Boys..and fuck you Philly fans..and if that isn't enough good news..Pee Wees back...Paul Reuben's is going to be on Pushing Daisies..He will play the potentially recurring role of

Alfredo Aldarisio, a traveling homeopathic-antidepressant sales rep...I hadn't even planned on watching that show..but if it has peewee in it..I'm a watching it..It's on ABC..so be on the look out..peewees back..I are in HOG HEAVEN..

sigh*....life is good..

.......ASK THE GODDESS.......

As my good friend Cadmus once said:"I shall tell you a great secret, my friend.Do not wait for the last judgement.It takes place every day."

And from the great woman troubadour Iselda:"Lady Carenza,I'd like to have a husband,

but making babies I think is a huge penitence:

your breasts hang way down

and it's too anguishing to be a wife."

Ahh, wisdom of the ages....

If you have any questions for the Goddess, you will have until Sunday night at midnight to ask me anything you would like..I will answer them and then go collect slain warriors and take them to Valhalla...Blessings on you my children...Peace..

.......GOT PIVO.......

Well, it was a Westfest weekend and all went well...we had 22,714 people here from 7 PM Friday to 1 Am Monday. For some reason I keep thinking the numbers are higher, but that the 30,000 numbers are from about 15 years ago..we used to get lots lots more people..But then we were the only game around..now there are all sorts of festivals at this time of the year.But even though we had fewer people then we had last year..the ones that came stayed longer..The weather was great..even got a little rain to cool it off..There were 2,513 people for the Friday's Preview Party, and 12,51 on Saturday and 7,620 on Sunday.The Friday night numbers are really low, but it rained that night and I personally had never heard of the band that played and think no one really gave a shit about them..The old farts running Westfest need to start catering to the younger crown..there is enough polka music to keep the older crowd happy and coming back..but they need to get some better music/groups/bands to draw in the younger crowd...I am going to go to the Westfest meeting this year if it hairlips the governor..Plus Friday night is High School football and in Texas Friday night Football rules..although we lost our opener ...hope we do better this weekend..Ok..now to the good part..what they ate and how much....brace yourself..it's pretty scary...now remember how many people we had over the 21/2 day weekend...this is what they ate and drank.

They consumed the following:

2,130 hamburgers, 1,380 corny dogs,1,700 pounds of french fries,8,172 kolaches,74 whole strudels and buchtas,790 BBQ sandwiches,670 turkey legs,720 potato pancakes,520 baked potatoes,1,550 spudzillas(potato twisters),960 sausage sticks and sausage and kraut plates, 1,715 roasted ears of corn,625 ears of

corn on a stick,1,250 snow-cones,85 cases of bottled water,and 3,000 servings of cotton candy,530 bags of Bavarian nuts, 390 pounds of corn for kettle popcorn,55 pounds of uncooked pork rinds, 1,300 skunk eggs,3 cases of fried green tomatoes,20 gallons of fried pickles, one case of fried squash,1,050 ice cream floats and ice cream servings,and 400 pounds of sausage products, 108 gallons of funnel cake mix, 300 rosettes, 250 fruit pies,125 pretzels,475 steak on a sticks, 500 chicken on a sticks,450 pork on a sticks,650 super nachos and 25 gallons of pickles.For the first time ever they didn't tell us how much beer was drank...So it must have been a lot and they were too embarrassed to let everyone know what booze hounds we are...Jeez, their Czech's ...that's what Czech's do..drink pivo, do the chicken dance to polka music and drink more pivo.
So..another year and another Westfest...I have been here in one fashion or another (except for when I was in Calif)..since the second one..Everyone has a standing invitation to come to the next one on next Labor Day..Buddha_Girl, Lorna and 'Obert are coming next year for sure.

Plus I have 2 Westfest magnets, 4 West papers ..2 from the week before Westfest and 2 for the week after..Pretty cool..anyone wants them...let me know..will send them out..

.......CRY ME A FUCKING RIVER.......

There is a book coming out that supposedly has Bush admitting that he 'can tear up'...that he cries a lot and mostly when he talks to the families of fallen soldiers..

well...boo fucking hoo..cry me a river George..you've made 2 countries cry over your fucking blunders driven by greed and ego...How many dead do you have notched on your gun George Porgy made them cry?....

fuckme till I cry...

WHY THE FUCK ARE WE STILL THERE?

2ND British officer blames Rumsfeld......

General says warning about deficiency of postwar plan ignored.

London...A second retired British general slammed the United States over its Iraq policy, saying in a newspaper interview published Sunday that it had been "fatally flawed."

Maj. Gen. Tim Cross,the most senior British officer involved in the postwar planning, said he had raised serious concerns about the possibility of Iraq falling into chaos but said former Defense Secretary Donald (the dickhead) Rumsfeld dismissed the warnings.

"Right from the very beginning we were all very concerned about the lack of detail that had gone into the postwar plan, and there is no doubt that Rumsfeld was at the heart of that process,"

Gen. Cross said in the Sunday Mirror.

The comments came a day after the release of critical comments made by the general who led the British army during the Iraq invasion.

Retired Gen. Mike Jackson also singled out Mr. Rumsfeld for criticism, saying his approach to the invasion was "intellectually bankrupt," according to quotes excerpted from his autobiography and published Saturday by The Daily Telegraph.

The comments from the two retired British generals come in the wake of U.S.criticism of British military performance in Basra and Washington's fears that Prime Minister Gordon Brown is poised to approve a British troop withdrawal.(yeah, now if only Bush would follow the leader)

(this to me is the kicker for this article...)

U.S. and Iraqi authorities have expressed concern that a broader British draw down could jeopardize the region's rich oil resources and the supply line from Kuwait to Baghdad and beyond.(only worried about the fucking oil).

Some analysts also fear that British withdrawal could exacerbate a violent power struggle between rival Shiite groups in the sect's southern heartland...(uh?....what the fuck have they been doing for the past 5 years???)

and how about this for a oxymoron? the Iraqi Prime Minister ordered a "professional and neutral" investigation Sunday into violence that killed more than 50 people at a religious festival last week.He also defended his government, saying critics underestimate Iraq's

problems and don't appreciate his achievements.

"such as stopping the civilian sectarian war."

Oh my fucking ass!...if that was true why would this be a problem????....this is a quote from the Iraq's national security adviser....brace your self...it's really ugly:
"But this is my favorite television show."---Mowaffak al-Rubale, Iraq's national security adviser, objecting to a request by U.S. Congressmen to quit watching cartoons during their meeting, according to Rep.James Moran,who was there..(Washington Post

Is that not enough to chap your ass?...Judas fucking priest...someone...GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!...We're over there fighting their fucking war and the assholes watching cartoons...I wish him a speedy Gonzales non-cartoon like death...

fuckme till it's 'that's all folks.

DAM NEWS AND STUFF

First of all..my idea of hell....'if I was locked in a room with Paul Dean and Rachel Raye..'Between the two of them, I don't know which has the most annoying voice..I just know that I can't stand to listen to them talk..it hurts my ears..I do believe that Paula Deans voice is the most obnoxious...and her laugh makes me want to search her out and bitch slap her into a coma..and I found this quote by Tallulah Bankhead that I rather enjoyed:"My Daddy warned me about men and whiskey.He never said a word about women and cocaine."

In my DAM News there was an article about the new bill boards that are going up in and around the Dallas area, put up by the Dallas Stars(Hockey team)..one of them says:"The only thing our refs shave is the ice." There are five of them up now and most of them use clever phrases to focus on the aggressive nature of the sport. One bill board says "One game a week? Is the N in the NFL for Nancy?"...Another says:"Maybe baseball should stop using the word sacrifice."

I think it is pretty funny...with the basketball refs betting on games and all..they said the funniest ones ended up on the cutting room floor.Stars president Jim Lites said they avoided taking a swipe at Michael Vick. I would have nailed his ass to the billboard..

Then there was the article about the kid who is a senior at Hilliard Davidson High School who got 3 days of in-school suspension and banned from extracurricular activities for a semester for going to a football game and convincing the other team fans to hold up assorted and different cards..Telling them the message would spell out Go Darby for the Hilliard Darby High School...What they actually spelled out was:

WE SUCK

I thought that was pretty funny too...people don't have a sense of humor anymore..

I wish I had the money to take a trip to Dallas and the cash($26-99) to see the Smothers Brothers, one of my all time favorite groups..I have had a crush on Tommy Smothers since the summer they had their TV show...The funniest show on TV at the time, but they fell afoul of the censors and got shit canned..They did a great review of the show and said they did one bit where one asked the other why anyone would boldly, baldy lie, and the answer was:'national policy'...Some day before I croak..I wanna see them in concert..I have 2-3 of their album.

The weirdest thing I read in my DAM News is the story about a Catholic Church is offering a confessional booth fashioned from recycled doors for those who want to make a "green confession.'

"It is not, I hope, blasphemous to do this," Anthony Sutch, a priest in Suffolk, told the Times of London."I do not think it is.It is just an attempt to make people conscious of the way they live."Graham Elliot said the confessional booth would give people the chance to reflect on their behavior...Hmm, if George W went to confession there..well, he'd be there a long...long...long...time..bastid.

Well, Westfest is in full swing...Had to go out today to get some batteries for my wall clock and remote..took me 30 minutes to make my way to the $ store which is less then a mile from my place...traffic is already starting to back up on the road to the Fest...Oh well, it makes money for the town..Also I have 2 refrigerator magnets for Westfest, West Texas...first 2 people that ask for them and want them I will mail them to you..

Back to my TV and reading...one more day and they will all be going home...yeah!

.......VITAME VAS NA 32ND WESTFEST.......

Yes, it's that time of year again..The time when the population of my little town of 2,000 goes up to 30,000+..Which means I run to the grocery store, stock up on food, snacks and cat food..Stop by the library and grab up about 10 books, run to the house and hide out till the last drunk is gone, some time around 2am Monday.

I can remember when it was a yafta that I attend.As if they couldn't pull it off with out my being there..Buying $20+ pevo tickets and if they lasted..using them up the next day..Friday was always my favorite time..We would have the street dance..A bunch of czech's would accordion up and play music from about 7pm till 1am..The grocery stores would stay open and sell beer, sandwiches,snacks through a window onto the street..The train would go zipping through the middle of town about 3-5 times a night and we always expected some drunk to wander out onto the tracks and get splattered all over town..It never happened but the city decided that it was too dangerous(there would be 4-5,000 drunks all over the down town area right by the tracks)and moved it to the Westfest grounds..took all the fun and danger out of it for me..After the street dance would be over, we would buy 2-3 cases of beer, pile into some one's truck, van and with me in my little blue jeep, we would drive out into the country and continue drinking, listening to Hank,George,Willie,

Johnny,Waylon,Ernest,Bob,and Merle till 5-6am..then we would take a little nippy nap..go down to the Capital (our watering hole)have us some red beers and start all over again..Ah, yes! The good ole days.The last time I went to Westfest I wasn't drinking and had all four of the granddaughters,3 step-grandsons,and about 3 of their friends..They were at my little one bedroom house from Friday till Sunday am..After each of them and me spending about $40 a piece, eating drinking, taking them on rides, getting faces painted..and then riding the bus back to town and then walking back to the house..they decided they were 'starving to death'..So I cooked hamburgers, french fries,and nachos for all of them..Their parents were supposed to come and get them Sunday at about 6pm..I called them at 7am and said,'come and get them...now'...My ass was wore out..but not as bad as poor ole Nate.He was about to have a nervous break down trying to figure out which kid to protect and which door to guard from danger..I think all of them slept in the king size bed with me and Nate was on top of them..It was tough..but a lot more fun then when I drank all those pevos..

This year we will have all sorts of new stuff at our Westfest.It's great for the kids..The rides are The Orbiter, Super Loops,Fun House,Animal(car seats),Dragon Wagon,Merry Go Round and space ships.Pony rides,a giant tiger slide, a rock climbing wall, miniature car races,obstacle course and the all-time favorite confetti eggs in this area.New this year is the extreme obstacle course along with a power jumper with four trampolines.Leggo station,Coloring Station,and Big Sand Box.Plus lots of pevo for the parents.

We will have our annual Westfest Kolache 5000 Run scheduled for Sunday morning.Antique tractor pull competition scheduled for Saturday,Kolache Baking Contest Sunday and will have a Buchta Division this year..which is terrific as some of these Czech ladies make some killer Buchta's..I like the ones that are fruit filled..Can't eat

them of course...but still like to smell them..ha..

We have Arts and Crafts and will have over 60 artisans and craftsmen from all over the state.Most every thing is handmade...like jewelry,western wear,Tye-died clothing,walking sticks,hand painted wooden crosses,solar lights,toe rings,crystal rosaries, quilts,hand blown glass,candles,hand made bowls,plates, stuffed animals,metal art, etc..just too much to mention.Also have a bus that will drive you to and from Westfest if you live in town.

The music will be Polka Freak Out,Czech and Then Some,Vaneks of West,Ennis Czech Boys,Praha Brothers,Branded Heart,Brave Combo,The Harvesters,Vrazel Polka Band,Das 1st Lustig,Donna Beckham,and Roger Creager.AND THE FOOD...........

Pretzels, grilled chicken,salads, soft ice cream,teas,Dr.Pepper,Baked potatoes,lemonade,Corny dogs,french fries,skunk eggs, Sausage sandwiches,sausage kolaches,sausage,homemade bread,cheesecakes,hamburgers nachos, tamales, tacos,chalupas, burritos,sausage on a stick,corn on a stick,snow cones,cotton candy,BBQ sandwiches,chips, pickles,roasted corn ears,steak on a stick,chicken on a stick,pork-k-bob,turkey legs,hot dogs,beer-bread sausage sandwiches,funnel cakes(the best funnel cakes you have ever ever ever eaten in your entire life),rosettes,Frito pies,coke,kettle corn,pork rinds,pecans,almonds, cashews,spudzillas,fried green tomatoes, fried pickles,fried squash,ice cream floats,strudels,potato pancakes,fresh fruit drinks,gyro pita, Greek sausage on a stick, spanakopita, and pita sausage...

there are more kinds of sausage then you can shake a sausage at..

If you go to the westfest.com site they have a live camera feed from the gates of westfest..over the weekend, you can czech it out and see all the action...

well...other then we got some rain finally and some rednecks beat up a hispanic gentleman for running out on a $200 pool bet..thinks are same ole same ole here..If you ever come to Westfest all you need to know is:"Chci klobasku a zeli(I want sausage and sauerkraut) and "Chci pevo".(I want beer)..and just to make you feel right at home?"Jak se mas?"...How are you..?

sooo...."Dobarou noc"..(good night)

.......THEY MAKE MY HEART BEAT.......

These are my 4 beautiful granddaughters..The first two are Haley who will be 15 in December, and Nicole who will be 21 in December...You know Jenny and Jamie who are 20 and 18..Two sets of sisters...Two from each son..They are the reason why I quit drinking, they are the reason why I get up every morning,why I take care of my health and why I want to live forever..just for them....

.......OLD FARTS.......

There were two articles in the DAM News this morning that I thought were connected.

First one is:

SENIORS:DON'T TAKE AWAY OUT DOUGHNUTS

Patrons of five senior citizens centers in Carmel,N.Y., rebelled when officials wanted to prohibit free doughnuts at the centers over health concerns.The sides are working on a compromise.

No shit!..The local bakeries here donate kolaches to the West Rest Haven and to the Senior Citizens Center over by the library.If they stopped there would be a herd of old farts storming city hall..Don't mess with a old person's doughnuts or kolaches.Life is crappy enough for old farts without you jerking away one of their reasons to get up in the morning.

and the other article was this:

SEX DOESN'T DISAPPEAR IN OLD AGE,STUDY FINDS.

First-of-its-kind research shows interest, frequency strong among those able(stressing on the able...if you can't get it up...you can't get it in)

Many people maintain rich, active sex lives well into their 80's, according to the first detailed examination of sexuality among older Americans.

The normal representative survey of more than 3,000 U.S. adults ages 57 to 85 found that more than half to three-quarters of those questioned remain sexually active, with a significant proportion engaging in frequent and varied sexual behavior.( I for one, find it very hard to get that picture out of my mind..I mean really, does anyone want to see Betty White getting it on with Wilford Brimley?ewwww!)

"There's a popular perception that older people aren't as interested in sex as younger people," said Dr.Stacy Tessler Lindau of the University of Chicago, who led the study being published today in the New England Journal of Medicine."Our study shows that's simply not true. Older people value sexuality as an important part of life."(right up there with doughnuts)

The survey found a close link between sex and health, with healthier people reporting the highest rates of sexual activity.(yeah, who wants to fuck an old person with a leaky heart valve?) In addition to supporting the well-known idea that illness can interfere with sex, that finding suggests that a healthy sex life may help keep people vibrant.(come on honey, lets get your heart a pumping..)

"Individuals who remain sexually active gain

the benefit of the physical exercise that comes with sex," Dr. Lindau said."It's also possible the hormones-the endorphins released by orgasms-give a general sense of well-being that could be beneficial.The psychological benefits of being loved and cared for may also trickle over to physical health."

"This just shows that the light doesn't go out. The flame doesn't go out," said Todd Semla, president of the American Geriatrics Society.

I will be 64 in November..I haven't had sex since 1985...It's not like I set out to not have sex again..I had a complete hysterectomy and had just gotten over a really bad relationship..(fuck you Roger) and just wasn't interested in finding another asshole, which is what I seem to always pick out for me.Plus I was madly in love with Lone Star and having an affair with rum and chipping with Vodka.There wasn't a lot of room in my life for sex or a relationship. Then time passed..I quit drinking and was working..but by then it had been 5-6 years...After that long with out having sex...you just don't just give it up to some local yokel after that long..I had become picky...and was in no hurry to give it up to another asshole..So now after 22 years...I'm waiting out for Antonio Banderas to leave his wife..I'm afraid of hurting him though..he'll have to pass a physical..don't want to be responsible for giving him a heart attack..

SHABOOM.....

This is being brought to you by the tunes of the fifty's...thanks to my new friends in Kinsgland, Texas...Jack and Diane..they are the neighbors that live across the street from Bolish and were so much help to me when I was staying there..Diane loaned me books to read when I read all the books I had brought with me..and told me how to get to the library and came and sat with Bolish so I could get out by myself for a while..which was 2 hours and was a real blessing for me...Jack down loaded all these song for me on 2 disc's...all the great hits from the 50's..just love it...so thanks Jack and Diane for being such great friends...

OK..now to the latest, here in West,by Goddess, Texas....sad to say our graduation party for Jenny was uneventful..we didn't get thrown out..and as Bolish would say..every thing was copacetic..Jenny looked so beautiful..but then so did Jamie..I have 2 outstanding and lovely granddaughters..and Jenny is now a full fledged Dental Assistant..whodathunkit..?..I found out there is a Marshall's here in Waco so we will go and take her shoes back here and not have to send them off to Austin for Lane to exchange them.I got lots of compliments on my new haircut, and weight loss...and Thom teased me about my Baby Phats..But he was more impressed with the fact that I sat next to his very straight laced and religious sister in law and her 2 kids and didn't say fuck...it was such a momentous occasion to him that he called Maryjo and commented on it...jeez..don't say fuck for 3 hours and they want to erect a monument..Maryjo said 'dang Thom, she's 63 years old..she knows when to say fuck and not to say fuck.'...guess Thom didn't know that..He actually came over and mentioned to me that she was very religious and to please not say anything that would freak her out...I looked at him and said..'sorry Thom, you're about 45 minutes to late.'...You will never know how close I came to standing up and saying..'well, I hadn't thought about saying fuck but now that you bring it up....fuck you.'and leaving..but for Jenny's sake I didn't...but it really pissed me off and to be honest..hurt my feelings..but gee..what's new about that?..The good thing is ...Maryjo and I are back on speaking terms..she said she had been bragging about me to her friends..that everyone is now into the eating good for good health and that her mother had been feeding her good stuff long before it was popular..she was taking yogurt, gazpacho and chopped veggies to school in her lunch box when she was in first grade..She is also going to go see about a new part time job..she works two days a week at the union lawyers office and volunteers at the museum and does beautiful flower arrangements.

Her friend has a business in lower Haight and they need someone to work there for 2 days a week for short hours..It's one of those health clinics(?)...where they give acupuncture, Chinese massages, etc..and think sell medicinal marajuana..not sure..ha...Man, don't you just love San Francisco..?...So..so far..me and Mojo are back to being related..and that's grand.

I was at Caritas the other day and found some more albums..for $10 I got:

Carol King--Tapestry

Bruce Springsteen--Born To Run

Bruce Springsteen--Born in the U.S.A.

Pearl Bailey( I love Pearl Bailey)For Adult

Listening

Joan Baez--Joan

Alice Cooper--Special Force

Simon and Garfunkel--Parsley, Sage,Rosemary and Thyme

Frank Sinatra-- This Love of Mine

Jeff Beck Group

Johnny Cash--The Johnny Cash Show

How cool is that?...

Then yesterday I went by Wolf's Bar and snagged Inky as he was getting off work(he has a cleaning company)..and we went to the car wash and hauled my big ass rug out of the back of the truck where it has been for 8 months..Through snow, rain, hail,and heat...figured if it was ok...great..if not..would just toss it..but we spend $5 in quarters and cleaned that sucker right up...It looks like a brand new rug...we brought it home and draped it across the railing by the yard and it was so hot..it dried in about 3 hours..it's 8x8 and fit right in the floor of the living room...from in front of couch to the entrance door..it really looks nice..so slowly but surely I am getting the apt. to look like a home...a couple of more political survey phone calls...and I'll be plum happy..

holy shit.."love me tender" by Elvis is on that first disc...now that's really cool!

To top off my week????? The Cowboys are 2-0 preseason..and by Goddess, they are really looking good..defense is defensing, offense if offensive...and I'm crazy about our coach..He's a Texas boy and is the son of 'Bum Philips',

can't get any better then that...yupper.....

Yellowdog's life is pretty fucking good...

.......AHHHH, LIFE IS GOOD.......

The Goddess must have known I have been a good little Yellowdog and was in need of some good ole harmless FUN. Because this evening right as I was sitting down to eat my sliver of fish, wisp of corn,wafer of tomato and chunk of cucumber....the phone rings...I am thinking to myself..'oh please...let it be some survey...I haven't told anyone to fuck off in days...'...and bless my little chubby ass...it was...but wait...it's a.......political survey..

oh, be still my beating heart...someone wants to ask me political questions.I squeal with delight...'oh please..please please please..ask me what I think of George Bush..go ahead...ask me...I think he's a asshole..'The guy assures me he will get to that question but there are other questions I have to answer before we get to that one...'Do you have a box next to his name that you can check that says asshole?'...'No', he says..'but there is one where the answer is strong disagrees with the way he is handling things....'"Yeah, put me down for that..and then write next to it..she thinks he's a asshole.'...

I don't hear him laughing ...but I can feel it..

I tell him after about 5 minutes of answering questions...(where I said the democrats had no balls, it was no one's fucking business what people did with their body's..and I wish people would worry more about people having no insurance then they did about what people did in their bedroom.....)...are you having fun yet?...I'm having so much fun...this is making my fucking day...'sigh...then after a few more random questions I realized that they were using all the general political questions to get to the heart of the phone call..who was I going to vote for in the Texas Senate race against John Cornyn..and I'm embarrassed to say..the only one of the three I really could place in the political arena was Noriega..and only because of his last name..But I was thinking of the other Noriega..the one sitting in the federal pen..But he read me some information about each one and I said which one I would vote for based on that information..then I found out 2 of them were lawyers...told him I hated lawyers..they rated right below Republicans and thought they were assholes too...oh by the way...did I tell you I thought George Bush was a asshole?....Then when I thought maybe one of them might get my vote..find out he used to be a lobbyist..I hate lobbyist more then I hate lawyers, but not as much as Republicans...and if you want to be on the top of my shit list..be a Republican lobbyist.lobbying for oil, or pharmaceutical companies...and he was for a utility company which was probably Texas Utilities..and them's assholes too...I got to tell him I was a pagan, that I believed in a Goddess, that I had yet to find a man that held my best interest at heart, so why believe in a male God..He asked me if I would blog about or talk about on a website about who to vote for or what ever..said oh, yeah, I had a blog and would post about our little survey...asked him if he wanted the address and he said yes..so when we were through with the survey I gave him my blog address..So if you're out there sweety...it was fun..thanks for the laughs..I would like to know what he thought when I was spilling my guts out to him about abortion,immigration,health care,gay marriages,the war in Iraq,and life in general...Maybe if we're lucky...Kinky will run for the Senate..and bring his cigars...

will leave you with a quote by George Orwell..

Things have reached such a state of affairs that

the first duty of every intelligent person is to pay attention to the obvious.

HOUSTON OIL FIRM AGREES TO $3MILLION FINE

Little Rock, Ark.---A Houston-based oil and gas distribution company agreed Wednesday to pay almost $3 million in penalties for discharging thousands of barrels of jet fuel,gasoline and crude oil into waterways, the Justice Department said.The company, TEPPCO, also agreed to make $1.6 million in improvements to its pipelines..

well wooptee fuck!...Why didn't they take away their deserts also..fuckers...$5.6 million dollars is like a $5 fine to you and me..They make that much a fucking hour...Judas Priest..The Goddess is most displeased..I wouldn't be surprised if they all came down with

warts all over their peni.

CRACKING DOWN ON BUTT CRACK

Effective Sept.15,anyone in Mansfield, La., caught wearing sagging pants that expose his or her underwear will be subject to a fine of up to $150, plus court cost, or face up to 15 days in jail...

'nuff said...

SO MUCH NEWS...SO LITTLE TIME

Where to start?...Start with my diabetes..I switched meds and meters..for anyone who needs to know..True Trac sucks bites and blows...I now use Accu Chek...it works well..I also switched from Avandament which could give me a heart attack but was free(yeah, it's free..but it could kill me...)to Glyburide-Metformin..which cost me about $11...so I opted for the G-M..and boy does it work..it works so well,my sugar dropped down to 45...I was sweating, shaking, trembling,light headed, dizzy...freaked me out..and what is to me..very fucking funny..I used to spend money on drugs that would make me feel like this and thought it was a good thing.Now?....not so good..So went to the Dr and after reading out when the drops were it became clear that my morning and evening readings were good...65's...88's..etc...but when it would drop is between the meals..I need to eat something in between the meals that has enough carbs to keep my numbers up and not let them drop..as having seizures and slipping into a coma is not my idea of a good time..So we think I should either only take a half in the am and a half in the pm..or eat a good carb for my breaks..Dr. told me that a bowl of bluebell rocky road was not his idea of good carbs.but thought it was worth a shot..so will eat fruit exactly half way between eat meal..where I was eating celery or a small salad..I eat hardly any carbs or sugar..and I need to figure out good carbs from bad carbs and not quit taking them all together.sigh*...I know eventually I will get this under control and think I am almost there..but damn..I gained 1 1/2 lbs.fuck..I think it was the baby phats...them's some big ass shoes...yeah..it's the shoes...

OK..enough about me...Are you ready for some Kinky Friedman news?

Looks like since Kinky couldn't make governor of Texas he had to do something to keep himself out of trouble and as you know ..he is never ever seen without his trusty smell stogie..Well, he now makes them..He unfurled his new line of handmade cigars last Wednesday."These are the first non-Cuban cigars that I've smoked in over 25 years," Mr. Friedman said.

And indeed, despite pestering from the press, he never let on during his political campaign where he obtained his supply..(I think Castro has them shipping them to him..and he knows Castro's ready to croak..and he needs to fill the void.

"To get me weaned off of Havanas, they have to be pretty special," Mr. Friedman said of his own brand.

What he learned and used in the campaign has not gone missing. The logo for his new cigar brand was used in his run for governor.And the five lines of cigars in his new venture read like chapter titles in his biography.

There's The Governor(politics), Kinkycristo(comedy;Montecristo is a famous Cuban cigar), Texas Jewboy(name of his back-up band),Utopia(name of his dog rescue ranch) and The Willie(good friend and adviser Willie Nelson).

But always quick with a quip, perhaps Mr. Friedman is just proving that sometimes a Willie

is just a Willie.

Mr. Friedman will be rolling out his new cigars at shops across Texas over the next month and promises to sign cigar boxes while discussing"fine cigars, politics and virtually everything else."..Yupper..that's our Kinky..

You all know that I am a Yellowdog Democrat..which are the radical Dem's in Texas..

there are also Blue Dog Democrats..and for the first time during 110Th Congress, the Blue Dog Coalition-a 47-member grouping of self-described moderate and conservative Democrats-defied House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and the Democratic leadership on a critical national security issue:Saturday night's vote on the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act(FISA)...

The Bush administration..had been trying since March to persuade Congress to pass legislation clarifying FISA to ensure that warrants would not be required to monitor terrorist phone calls.. The political situation changed dramatically in recent weeks, after U.S. intelligence agencies reported increased "terrorist" chatter suggesting an attack on the United States could occur shortly...Faced with the nightmarish possibility that continued failure to act could facilitate a terrorist strike, the Blue Dogs concluded that Mrs. Pelosis's wrath was the least of their problems when it came to FISA...the Washington Times..

them dumb sonsabitches...every time Bush and his motley crew want a bill passed they run the old terrorist attack on U.S.soil flag up the flag pole and scare the fuck out of everyone...and them fucking Blue Dogs went for it..dumbshits..

I'm so glad I'm a Yellowdog....

SHADY LANE AND AFRICAN DRUM DANCING

Just about the time I think Shady can't do anything that would either stun, amaze or shock me...she does it..and was stunned, amazed and shocked at her when I saw her at her African drum dance class...Where she was, at 61 at least 30 years older then the person closest to her age.Most were in 20's...andshe was right in there..shaking her booty...jumping, clapping, twisting, turning, more jumping...I lost 5 lbs just watching...Ok..let me explain the whole African drum dance thing..Jean Claude Lessou is the instructor that I got to see teach the class..He's from Abidjam, Ivory Coast and has been dancing professionally since he was 15 years old..He has danced all over the world and the United States..Well, he takes a plane most places but dances when he gets there..He does this really cute little monkey scream when he teaches and dances..sort of an African version of the scream Bruce Lee used to make when he fought..

The class is 1 1/2 hour long..The first 15 minutes is just warming up..and when they got through I said,'if I did that you would be on the phone calling 991 right now.'..then they did 15 minutes of a bunch of exercises..I told Shady, 'that I had been in some of those positions before..while having sex and giving birth..and if I had done those exercises they would be giving me CPR right about now.'...Then Jean Claude came in and starting his class...HOLY SHIT!.. They were doing these leaps and twists and turns and jumps and clapping and it was amazing..and there is ole Shady shaking her ass and jumping up and down the dance floor to save her little Yankee soul..it was just terrific.There were 3 guys beating on the African drums and when they changed beats, the dance step changes.And it went on for a fucking hour...I was sweating and out of breath and all I did was sit on my ass and watch...I was so proud of her and so impressed...she has been doing this for 5 fucking years..and has earned herself a nick name..Sugarmomma..if anyone watches THE PROUDS, a TV cartoon, there is a mouthy old lady on there called Sugarmomma...and they call Lane that now.It fits..to a T.I am going to post some pictures..some of Jean Claude and his classes from different places..I like the schmuck that I am forgot to take the camera and didn't get any pictures...but you will get the idea..All I know is I have an entirely different picture of Shady now after watching her prance her Yankee ass up and down that dance floor..sweating and grinning and twitching her ass...She's my hero..

HELL MARY'S ...HELL YES...HELL MARY'S ..HELL YES

The championship is over and the Hell Mary's beat the Hot Rod Honeys...They spanked them...and to show that their team spanked the other team..the Hell Mary's cheerleaders ran over to spank the cheerleaders for the Hot Rod Honeys...who had their skirts lifted and there butts ready to be spanked...I swear..I had so much fun...it was a flat skating rink..with no walls/sides and we were front row by the first curve and ended up with skaters sliding into us on more then one occasion...we were right by the Hell Mary's cheerleaders and they were so funny...in the picture of the Hell Mary's you can see the cheerleaders on the bottom row..the one that is second from the left had patches of the band Kiss sewn on the back of her red/black pleated thigh high skirt..I said to her,'that's cute'...she said, 'that's so they can KISS my ass.'....One of the skaters for the Hell Mary's is Czech and knew all about West..It was a blast..they had two bouts of skaters..Honky Tonk Heartbreakers and Hustlers played one half and then Those Peabody's played(local band) and then Hell Mary's and Hot Rod Honeys played their half...then they had drawings and introduced skaters that were on the all star team...then the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers and Hustlers finished their game and then they announced that all the beer was gone...and then Hell Mary's and Hod Rod Honeys finished their game...I had so much fun...I wore my West t-shirt and my Lime green Baby Phats...superstaaaaar...I bought 2 Hell Mary's t-shirts for the girls and wish now I had bought one for me too..doh!..but can still get them on line..check it on on txrollergirls.com..They had a little program with pictures of all the teams and individual pictures and little quotes from the players..The line up for the Hell Mary's is Apocalippz,Bea Attitude, Bloody Mary,Buckshot Betsy,Bunny Rabid, Derringer, Lady X,Muffin Tumble,Nasty Habit, Ryder Down,Smaximaz, Sparkle Plenty, Tomax,2Face and Q...Hot Rod Honeys have Tinkerbell, Rebellika, Cherry Crush, Miso Fresh,Vicisous Van GoGo,Radioactive, Shank, Texas Penny,Rollin Sweet,Vendetta Vondutch,Dagger Deb,Pixie, Morphine,Lucille Brawl,Melicious and Rice Rocket.

Shady's and my favorite names were..Pussy Velour,Dinahmite,Damn Skippy,Reyna Terror,Choctawesome,Muzl Velosity and

Mary Lou Threaten...

You should check out the website and

see if your state has a team...

there are teams from Arizona, California,Georgia,Louisiana,

Massachusetts,Wisconsin,North Carolina,

Maryland, Connecticut,Michigan,Alabama,

Virginia,Indiana,New York,Missouri,

Minnesota,Nebraska,Arkansas,Ohio,

Pennsylvania,Colorado,Rhode Island,

Washington,Oregon,Nevada,and Illinois.

go out and support your local roller derby

girls...The Championship tickets were $15,

so I don't imagine that the regular

tickets for regular games would be all that

much..I know that I haven't seen so many

gays, lesbians,and transgender people since I

left San Francisco..There were two of the

cutest little boys about 4-6 years old, with

blond hair and bright rosy pink Mohawks.While

we were outside waiting to get in some kid came up and had these little arm bands, so we thought he was selling tickets...nope..he was checking id's and if you didn't show him your id, you couldn't get the band and couldn't buy beer.When he came to us and asked for Lane's id, she just showed it and said nothing..he came to me and I said..."I'm 63 fucking years old."...he said, you still have to show your id..I said, "I'm 63 fucking years old...and I don't drink...".

still had to show my id...Judas Priest..

anyhow..it was a lot of fun..and if they come

to an roller rink close to you..you must go

see them..it's a blast..

HELL MARY'S..HELL YES..HELL MARY'S..HELL YES!!!!