.......COWBOYS 24-VIKINGS 14.......

Yes,I may be a Viking....coming from a long line of Viking's..but at heart...I'm a cowgirl..and love my Cowboys... Except for when they play the Cowboys, I'm also a Viking fan...Way back in the 60's I got to see them play the 49Er's at Candlestink Stadium..and will never forget when they came out of the tunnel onto the field..I told asshole #1..."If they had two-headed axes instead of footballs, they could wipe out this entire stadium ."...That's when they were known as the purple people eaters..no shit!

My girlfriend in Denver is giddy with joy..her Rockies are going to the world series..against the Red Sox...pretty cool...This is going to be a sports post...There were two articles in my DAM sports news this morning..first of all...

Ex-Packer, 75, dies after fall from his roof.

Max McGee, the free-spirited Green Bay Packers receiver who became part of Super Bowl lore, died from injuries suffered after he fell from the roof of his home. He was 75.(only an ex-packer at his age would be up on his roof).

Police were called to his home in suburban Deephaven, Minn., on Saturday afternoon. Efforts to resuscitate failed. McGee was blowing leaves off the roof when the accident happened.

"I just lost my best friend," former teammate Paul Horning told the St.Paul Pioneer Press. His wife"Denise was away from the house. She'd warned him not to get up there. He shouldn't have been up there. He knew better than that."

McGee caught the first touchdown pass in Super Bowl history in 1967, a game he expected to watch from the sideline.When it was all over, he had caught seven passes for 138 yards and two TDs and Green Bay beat the Kansas City Chiefs, 35-10.

McGee had only four receptions for 91 yards during the 1966 regular season.He didn't plan to play in the title game because he violated the team curfew and spent the night before partying.

Boyd Dowler separated a shoulder on the Packer's second drive, and coach Lombardi summoned McGee. He had to borrow a helmet because he left his in the locker room. A few plays later, McGee made a one handed snare of a pass from Bart Starr and ran 37 yards to score...(I think the Goddess will make an exception with this warrior...and is taking him directly to Valhalla.)

Now...to the news closer to home..Don't know if you have been following the Ron Springs/Everson Walls story..they were team mates on the Dallas Cowboys way back when...they were friends also..and their families were friends..Ron Springs has diabetes and it caused his kidneys to be damaged..none of his family was a match, except for his son Shawn, who plays for the Washington Redskins, but Ron refused to let his son donate his kidney, knowing it would ruin his football career..So.....Everson Walls was a match and he donated his kidney..yup..quite a guy...Every thing had been going along pretty good..Then he needed a simple operation on his arm to remove a cyst. He still had some pain so they were going to do a second one and during the operation Ron lost oxygen for a time and lapsed into a coma and has been in a coma ever since...This is sad and bad news for us Cowboys fans...They were not just hero's on the field..but hero's off..great family men and good friends...Shawn went back to

Washington so he could play Sunday, and glad to say their team won...I really do hope his Dad wins his game too...and that's all the sports news for the day...next post will be nothing but pictures of MOJO in Amsterdam and Zurich..How cool is that...?...

.......AHHHH, I LOVE BEING JACKIESUE.......

And not the real librarian...Today at straight up noon, when the library closes...one of the regulars comes in ...so...no big deal...I check her books in..and let her get some new books...while I am checking her out she starts discussing a book she is reading...about Bush...which she likes very very much and it explains not what he has done...but the reasoning behind his decisions..she goes on and on..and fucking on...while I'm biting my tongue, scrunching up my eyes and pursing up my mouth..to keep from saying what I want to say.. which is fuck George Bush that lying sonofabitch,but I can't...Librarian's can't have opinions...we are opinionless....well,almost..when she got through jabbering about her fucking book on Bush and I had finished checking out her books..I smiled really big....and said:"What's the title of this book?"....she says.."Oh, you want to read it?"...I said:"No...I want to make sure I never read it."..and smiled really really big..
She slapped those books to her scrawny chest, did an about face and lurched to the door....I was still smiling when the door quietly closed behind her....yup...I love being Jackiesue..
I went by and checked in on Henrietta, and she is doing OK....didn't get to talk to her much as she was eating and know with her being a diabetic that she needs to eat at the right times..so just said howdy and left...
Went to Waco...oh fuckme...I hate to go do Waco..and I forgot that this is Saturday and Baylor was playing Texas at home...traffic is bad enough with them fucking Baylor Baptists, but with them and the goofy hook-em horns crowd, the streets of Waco real swarming with assholes..
I went to Michael's where I got some copper, bronze and gold paints..a scrap book for Jenny and some scrap book pages for her and Jamie..
I have been looking for a bedspread set for my queen size bed for almost a year..and can't find what I want..I want something solid..no stripes, flowers, floral of any kind..and either the deep red or deep green that I painted my dresser and desk with...been every where and can't find what I'm looking for...but found some deep green corduroy for this antique chair I found at yard sale for $5...whooo whoo..I love bargains..all it needs is some cleaning up...some varnish and a new seat cover...which I will do, hopefully this week...one chair down..3 to go..don't want my chairs to match..
Then I go to H.E.B. which is the Texas version to ...um....Safeway I guess..to get me some fish, unsalted butter, fresh veggies and fruit..got 2 huge egg plants..I have become hooked on eggplants...so I'm in my little truck, heading back to West...I have my windows down, the radio on full fucking blast..and jamming..to the 60's...can't remember what it was...Think it was something by Moody Blues..my heads a bobbing, slamming my fingers and hands on the steering wheel, singing along..having a good ole time...I look over to the left and there are 4 Baylor students in their little sports car with sunroof...laughing ...Can't tell if they are laughing cause'aint she cute'...or 'look at granny rocking.'...The one riding shotgun rolls down the window and says "Rock on Granny".....I figure he's being a smart ass and yell..."yeah, fuck you too sonny."..the light turns green and the driver is laughing so hard he pops the clutch and the car dies..I leave him in the dust...smiling really really big...Yup..I LOVE being Jackiesue...
Cowboys play Minnesota tomorrow...at home...I hope to the Goddess...they win...if not..I will be out looking for that Bush loving Bitch to bip upside her head..just to make me feel better..

MY GOOD DEED.......

paid off...This morning the phone rings and it's some name I don't recognize..when he starts all friendly "Hi Jackie, how are you this morning?" I'm thinking ah, jeez some schmuck is going to try and sell me something..But nooooooo...it's the guy who had called me and asked if I could have the Life Line Screening at the library..and to show their appreciation he is sending me a certificate for a free screening...which is over $200.He said if I hadn't let them do it at the library all those people would have had to cancel their appointments...(there were almost 50 people)and they were really really grateful..Plus they are coming back in March and will have it at the library again and I will get another certificate for another screening...how cool is that..? Plus, they will use promote the library in their advertisement and tell everyone that we(me) saved the day...So now I feel, well not really...guilty for bitching about having to work from 9am to 7pm so they could hold their little screening..So I'm a happy camper..

Went this morning to get my eyes examined for new glasses...lucky for me..the diabetes has not caused any broken blood vessels in my eyes and my eyes have not been damaged in anyway by the diabetes...She informed me that for an old broad my eyes were not bad..or words to that effect..

Was going to go to Barnes and Nobles to get the 3 book series of Golden Compass, but with my eyes all dilated I decided to wait till this weekend...

I had fun at the library tonight..had 6 girls from the Builders Club in and I helped them find books on Child Labor Laws for cotton pickers in the state of Texas and books on horses..They found the 2006 winners for the Blue Bonnet Bookshelf awards for me...dusted, swept,cleaned the glass on the doors,cleaned out the janitors closet and other child labor violations..They told me that even when they didn't come for the Builders Club they wanted to come to the Library and help me..They also said very quietly and looking over their shoulder..."we like you much better then that other librarian, you're lots of fun.."...Told them that was because they hadn't screwed up yet and they would think differently when I yelled at them for screwing up"..they thought that was very funny....haha..they'll learn...I like them..they laugh at all my jokes and don't freak out when I call them smart asses.They wanted to know why I wasn't going to be the new Librarian.Told them it's because I don't take orders well and I liked volunteering and coming and going when I wanted to...They got it..

Looks like Babs will be coming back for another weekend visit, next weekend..How cool is that?

Too bad she can't come on Halloween..we could really warp those kids minds...which reminds me..I need to make some signs for the Halloween party we will be having...The West News ran a little article telling about all the activities that West will be having for the kids for Halloween and mentioned the Library too...which is great..even said it was a good opportunity to get a new Library card..I also got an email from the guy who did the quote for us on our new computers..we will get 6 new computers..Need to call Nancy and let her know so she can get on that right away..as the ones we have are at least 6 years old...we got a great deal on them too...got 6 27 inch computers for less then $5,000...and the rest will be spent on updating our software...Now all we need is a color printer and we'll be top grade...

I'm so excited..tomorrow is Friday and the Library is closed..so can rest and recoup...this old body isn't used to all this working...I'm up half the night with leg cramps from all the walking, toting books and bending over ..But I am having fun and get to practice having conversations with out saying fuck...which is a first for me...have a great weekend y'all...

IF MY FEET COULD TALK.....

They would be screaming at me to sit my fat ass down and get off of them...yesterday some guy called and they do the scanning on old folk..they were supposed to do them at the Senior Center and for some reason they couldn't..and all these people in West had apt's to have them done and could we have it at the meeting room at the library...hmmm...yeah, why the hell not...thinking I could come over..let them in at 9am ..lock them in the meeting area and go back home...and come back at 3pm when the library opens...yeah..nice thought Jackiesue..
I have been here from 9am..it's 6pm...I have an hour to go and my back, feet, and ass hurt...It wouldn't have been so bad, if I just sat at the desk and read a book...(why didn't I think of that earlier????)...but noooooooo, I have to finish up with the redoing of the non-fiction section...I had done the 0's to the 600's...and it took me 3 days...really a mess..today I did all the 600's, and started in on the 700's and it took me 6 hours..that's how screwed up they were...fuckme...and for some reason the books go in a straight line to the end of the 600's and then it jumps to the 800's and the 900's and the 700's are on a different book shelf all together...I'm sure(maybe not) there was a reason..but before I rip them down and replace them..I am going to confer with Nancy...which is Jackiesue for stall until someone else does it..yeah, right...We have some sort of organization called the Builders Club..from 6Th grade to 9Th It think...they come in and 'help'..They think I'm crazy and they do a lot of eye rolling and shoulder shrugging...I asked a kid to help me scotch tape a reading poster up and he said he was allergic to sticky tape ...I asked him what happened if he got it on him..he said it would give him 3rd degree burns...I said..now I know how to get you to work..I'll chase you around the library with a piece of scotch tape..talk about deer caught in the headlights look...It's been a few hours now and he has figured out that I'm just a crazy old lady..but they all really worked hard today..took out a ton of trash, washed all the windows,glass doors,all the light switches, trim around doors, shelved books,etc...oh and the one girl did all the vacuuming until the cord worked loose and gave her heart a little shock..So now I have to go get a new plug and replace it..along with finding a plumber for the women's bathroom,and toilet supplies...
Oh...did I tell you that they hired Nancy the one I wanted to be librarian..With Henrietta's cancer coming back and her being in such bad health, they went ahead and got a new Librarian..a job I didn't want..I think the board and I would have been at each other's throat the first meeting..But they are paying me..yeah..it's $6 an hour...cash..as they know it would affect my rent and I don't want that..not much considering what I have had to do this past 17 days...this place was a mess..Henrietta hasn't done anything in a year at least..books were and still are a mess..So far the fiction section is done, the large print section is done,the paper backs are done, but think they need to be reworked as some shelves are so crammed tight with books you can't even get a book out...Western section is done, the audio section is done, the video section is done,and the BIOS are done..and this place is sparkly clean...My ass is dragging....But my little library is rocking..
Have to go...30 minutes till closing and need to get organized...yeah ..right!

.......NEW ENGLAND 48---DALLAS 27.......

sigh***

.......THE ANSWERS.......

You've already proved that you're not to be trusted to be in a voting booth..and now I find you're not to be trusted with sharp implements either...sigh*...only one really good question...You must remember something my children..it's the Yellow Dog that knows and cares about football...the Goddess could give a shit..

Nitwit wants to know what life will be like after October the 18Th...The Goddess goes by the Mayan Calendar and she thinks you should be more concerned about what the world is going to be like after 12-21-12...

Rube, the answers are no ...no ..and good decision..I can refer to the Chinese as them 'little yellow bastids'...as I am the Goddess and I answer to no one..

The Pirate is an old friend of the Yellow Dog's from the 'other place'...she is most happy to see him back and plans to visit him often..But he should just ask the Yellow Dog the football questions as I have to defer to her on the answers...She thinks they will hold on to Fran till the end of the season and then cut him loose..and you already know the answer to the LSU question, sorry...

As for you and your new boyfriend...The Goddess thinks it's very hard for a leopard to change his spots..

Allan...the Yellow Dog says..get real...Miami won't have a winning season again in your lifetime..They may have a perfect losing season..but no wins...

Now..finally a good question...Sling wants to know if the terrorist have won....No, because his term will be over by 2008 and hopefully you voters will slip your head out of your ass and vote in someone competent..The Goddess can only hope..or you won't have to wait for 12-21-12 for the world to end..

Jan...another football question.The Yellow Dog says T.O. can needlepoint in a pink tutu as long as he keeps catching footballs and making touchdowns...

Buddha_Girl...well, first of all...the Yellow Dog says if you want her to quit posting the picture of Buddha_Boy throwing up his hands for all the winning Cowboys posts she will...but he looks just like he is saying "touchdown...cowboys"....the Goddess is protecting this redheaded wonder boy..so no worries...no one will toss him out of day care and if he does fall...I'll keep him safe from harm...

Josh has the another good question..He wants to know if the Goddess takes all warriors to Valhalla that dies in battle, even if their cause might not be the right one...The Goddess takes all warriors that have fallen in battle..all causes that bring soldiers to a battle field is wrong..so it's not the cause..it's the warrior...except for those fools that fly planes into buildings, or commit suicide while killing hundreds...those are not warriors...those are people with a one way ticket to Hel....

Big Pissy..The president of your country has set the bar so high on stupidity that no one will ever reach it...thank the Me..

BBC wants to know when I am going to fix the world...the world is just fine...it's the people on it that are fucking it up....Human kind was made to make decisions...it's up to you to make the right ones..not just for you..but for your family and the ones to come...

Be better people...people!...I bless you and will watch over you and hope for the best..

.......ASK THE GODDESS.......

"CHILDREN'S DO LEARN"...This comes from a man that you Americans voted for, not once but two times to be the ruler of your country...The Goddess thinks you all need to be bipped..

Come on ....show me that it was just a fluke and you people really can be trusted with sharp instuments..ask me some good questions...

FUCKME'...I'LL NEVER TWO-STEP AGAIN

The other good thing that came out of the Cowboys win last night(by one fucking point...lucky for me I took the Bills and 10points)...is that I now know that my heart is in perfect condition...because if there had been one little thing wrong with it ..I would have croaked from a heart attack last night...(fat lady down..fat lady down)Fuckity fuck fuck fuck!...What a game..5 interceptions by Romo, one fumble..2 dropped passes by T.O. and various other offenses...and they need a touch down and 2 point conversion to tie it up..make the TD...Owens drops the fucking ball..time back on the clock...we recover the on side kick..(that fucking kicker needs a parade, confetti and naked dancing girls) they move the ball down and he kicks the winning field goal..and the very very smart coach of the Bills calls a time out right before we snap the ball for the kick...he makes it but has to do it all over again...and them poor fucking Bills fans..jeez they really hate us now..he kicks it again..and makes it..with no time left on the clock...we did all of this in 20 fucking seconds..be still my heart..25-24...Holy shit!..

Unfuckingbelievable....had to go to the bank today and me and all the ladies in the bank replayed the entire 20 seconds about 6 times..we were still pumped...holy shit...holy shit.. holy shit..!...It was the best game (while being the worse played game for 3 1/2 quarters)I have ever seen...and Babs..I love you Babs..you know I love you Babs..but Judas priest..what the fuck were you thinking to call me with 2 minutes left in the game..????? I answered the phone "are you fucking crazy?"...didn't even know who it was..just knew that someone better be bleeding from the brain and on the way to the hospital or on the way to the funeral home to call me at that time...I yeah, yeah, yeah ed for about 56 seconds and then said.."I gotta go...game..Romo...uh..see ya"...Oh man..what a fucking game...if you missed it...what a shame..even non football fans would have loved the last 20 seconds of that game..and to the Buffalo Bills fans and team...I'm so sad for you..your team kicked ass..the fans were incredible...they screamed, yelled, made it impossible for the Cowboys to hear...you were the best...the very very best...The looks on the fans faces when that kick went through the uprights was heartbreaking...I felt so bad..I really did..I know they hate us for the 2 Super Bowl blow outs...the fact that our Coach used to be their coach and they kinda sorta liked him..really must just kill them that their team beat the shit out of us for almost the entire game and then we pull it out of our ass at the last 20 seconds...Let me tell you something..YOU ALL DID GOOD..

Next week we play one of the other unbeaten teams..New England...Man..I need a Dr. Pepper.

AND THE BEAT GOES ON.......

Hmm..where to start..have worked at the library all week, Henrietta is back home as of Thursday evening...Her cancer is back...she's handling it like she does everything...chin up...tits out..!

She's a tough ole bird and I expect her to beat this battle just like she did 8 years ago..She's got her blood sugar down to 82..which is great..and will start doing her chemo this coming week..I don't know what she is going to do, or what the Library Board is going to do...

but told them I would work it as long as they needed me and they decided what to do..

Gee...what else...oh..! I know...Babs is here..She called Wed and told me she had been in the hospital again..I kinda figured that out on my own when she didn't post and hadn't got an email from her...So I told her to 'come on down'..(now all we need is Sooner to come on down too...and by the way Sooner and Texlahoma..congrats on your win over Texas.)

West has magical healing powers..The first night she was going out on porch to smoke her nasty fucking cigarettes(sorry Babs).she committed on how she could see the stars..I said,'go get in the truck'..so took her through town to show her how cute West looks at night with all the lights.(they have the clear ones on most all of the buildings)..and she was amazed and how many houses were decorated for Halloween..wait till Christmas..about every other house is decorated..and I mean really really decorated..

Then took her to the country..as we were driving down the road..I turned the truck lights out..she freaked out..it was pitch black..couldn't see a thing..ha.It was like the entire world disappeared..then I stopped and we got out and you could see every star..plus the milky way was just beautiful..this is where I used to take my granddaughter Jamie when there would be meteor showers...normally there wouldn't be any traffic out there..but I forgot it was Friday night and the kids all go out to the country and have keg parties..and then I got lost...I used to drive out there all the time when I drank but it was hard to find my way around while sober..Then yesterday I drove her around town at day time so she could see my little hamlet..

She maybe able to rent an apt here...Not the ones I am in the ones next to me..the 2 story ones, where you can have kids..They are only $295 a month plus electricity..here they go by your income ..but these are just options for her..Least she knows she has someone and a place to go..It's been great..I get to cook for someone again..ha...Green enchilada's for dinner last night..and eggs and sausage for breakfast today..I bought some Dublin Dr.Pepper for her and some Nemecek's ring Bologna...You just can't believe how good it is..it's $4.00 a lb. but is like no bologna you have ever eaten..ring bologna, rat cheese and crackers..Czech lunch..

I have to figure out if the Library is going to be open tomorrow..as it is Columbus Day..but think they are open as we close on Texas Independence Day...We're more apt to honor fighting Texans then lost Italians..

Annie is most happy to have another adoring cat lover..she is running up and down the hall way playing with Babs...She doesn't miss little Asshole AT ALL....What else..? We got some rain..and expecting more..I knew it was going to rain..I left the window down in the truck..so had wet ass for 1/2 a day...

I am pissed at blogger..I did a great post on Freegans..(and it ate it)about people who scrounge around in garbage/dump cans for food..not because they are poor or homeless..but because they want to minimize the support of corporations and there impact on the planet, and to distance themselves from what they see as an out-of-control consumerism...

some of the stats were interesting..

29.4 million tons of food thrown away by Americans each year.That's about 12 percent of the solid waste produced in the U.S. annually.

6.1 pounds of solid waste produced by the average New Yorker each day.The average American is 4.5 lbs..

But I think if individuals would use less and eat more left overs(my son and his wife will not eat leftovers...didn't learn that from me..that was Friday dinner..leftovers) and compost it would be better then hanging upside down in dumpsters getting your dinner..I think those people are a 5-ball short of a rack...

OK..that's all the news from West, by Goddess, Texas...Babs and I have managed to stay out of trouble..but she doesn't leave till at least Monday..so we have plenty of time to mess with the Christian's...We did find out some interesting information about one of the check out girls at Community Grocery..her and her boyfriends legs are too long for her back seat...

HALLELUJAH.......I FOUND JESUS

He was at a Czech wedding..changing wine into beer....

WHY GROOMS AREN'T ALLOW TO ORDER WEDDING CAKE

This is for all those on my forward email joke list...I couldn't get it to show up on two different try's..I have to give credit to my friend Ross from down under..as he is the one that sent it to me twice but I couldn't get it to go forward to save my fat ass.

so here tis'....

HOLY SHIT!

This is going to be fast and furious..I'm at the library will have to be working here for awhile...Henrietta had a heart attack last Friday and I'm it..So far she is fine, but they also discovered a spot on her lung and liver and that's not good..she's an 8 year survivor from lympnode cancer and it could be scar tissue..we don't know..but last I heard she was complaining about being hungry..so I'm sure she will soon be back here bitching at me because I entered a new patron wrong...
plus..this afternoon I got "pee wee" in the mail..I'm so excited..it's a gift from his lordship nitwit...It's Pee Wee Live....I got to watch about 5 minutes of it before I had to come to the library...it's all I can think of...I will watch it instead of those sweaty guys in prison when I get home at 7pm..Pee Wee may not be as cute and sexy as them...but he's a hell of a lot funnier..and I'm at the age where funny is mo'better then sexy ...Anyone that wants to send Henrietta Meurer a get well card she is in Hillcrest Baptist Hospital 3000 Herring Avenue in Waco, Texas 76708...room #400..
Thursday is also her 77Th birthday...Tell her Jackie sent you..ha...
Well...have to run..have a bunch of books to shelve and it's 5pm and need to go to the back room and eat some eggplant lasagna I brought up here from home.no microwave so it'll be cold..
but like pizza..it's better cold..will try and get by and read every one's blog tonight or later on here if it's not busy...everyone say a little prayer for ole Henrietta....I did...which will probably kill her for sure when she finds out I prayed to a Goddess for her..snort*

.......35---7.......

We are 4-0!......I am so happy I could shit a brick....no wait...I did that this morning...

NO ONE INFORMED ME

that for the medicine to work...it would have to turn my fecal matter to the consistency of Portland Cement...due to this lack of knowledge...at about 9:30 this morning....I shat a brick.

.......I FEEL LIKE HAMMERED SHIT.......

Tuesday I had chicken for dinner...late Tuesday night, my stomach said...'uh..this shit is bad' and proceeded to spew it out from both ends for about 3 days..I was dizzy, had spots in front of my eyes,feverish,nauseous,cramping so bad I thought:'well, fuck it..just kill me now'..I couldn't walk, talk or do anything..I tossed up stuff that had been in my stomach since 1986....When I finally was well enough to call the Dr. and I described my ails..he laughed and said:Maybe you should go to the emergency room..

I said if I'm so sick I can't drive 5 minutes to your office what makes you think I would make a 40 minute ride to the Hospital?..dipshit..he was laughing at me in the way I described my throwing up and crapping out my anal canal...he thinks I'm so funny that he automatically laughs at every thing I say..which did not make me feel any better...laughter is not the best medicine if it's not you laughing..So with 3 days worth of the biggest pills I have ever seen in my life I am at least well enough to stand up straight and leave the bathroom...Which is why I haven't been around to read any of your blogs..I did some in spurts but missed a bunch..and I hate that...but will catch up this weekend...after I do laundry..which you all know I hate to do anyhow..I would rather someone took out my spleen with a grapefruit spoon..

I had my hopes dashed yesterday...I put an ad in the West Paper for lost white male cat and said where he was last seen, described him, etc..and yesterday I got a phone call from some lady who lives in the apt's behind me...she said she saw him night before last..so I went over there and then found out the cat she saw was a white and yellow cat...fuck...so..still no Asshole...will be 2 weeks Sunday...If he was just out getting laid..he should be dragging his ass back home by now..the not knowing is what is killing me...but man..Annie is so happy...she is the way she used to be...all Royal and affectionate and funny...playful and sleeps with me again..she cuddles right in the crook of my arm and stays there all night long...so that's nice..but miss the little fucker..

Wednesday..the lawn guy was weed eating around my porch and I heard this loud thunk...and thought well, he hit the house with a rock..was deep into a good book and still not feeling so hot,so didn't get up and check on it...later on that night when I opened the door to let Annie out the bottom half of the glass screen door shattered into a gazillion pieces all over the carpet and porch...scared the shit out of me..thought for a second I thought one of the x-in-laws was taking a shot at me..then I realized that the thunk I heard was the rock hitting the door...and you know he could have been able to see it from outside...so I called manager and she gave me the phone number of the guy(why I had to call him I don't know..as I thought that would have been something she would been responsible for ..????)..so called ...and called ...and called...finally about 7:30 I reach him..I explain it to him and he's not exactly bending over back wards to be helpful..Can't understand why the apt. doesn't replace the door...first of all the apt. didn't put the door in..the old tenant did..they don't put up screen doors...so they could care less about my screen door..he wants to know what I want from him...I am trying to keep from asking him where he lives so I can come do this in person so when I do snap he will be within ass kicking distance.I said..I want you to do the right thing..your helper(his son) broke my screen door...I want the glass picked up and the door replaced...I get mutter mutter...yadda yadda..finally he said he will be over at noon today to clean up the glass, but doesn't know when he can replace the door..I am going to see what happens and if he doesn't fix the door or replace it in a week...I'm going to have to go Jackiesue on him....it won't be pretty...I actually am looking forward to it.

The other thing that is really keeping me up at night is the European donor sperm scare...man..how frightening is that????

What it boils down to is if you are an American looking for donor sperm to produce a blond, blue-eyed Scandinavian baby...you may have to get the American version..as there is a ban on sperm from all European countries with exposure to mad cow disease ...Since May, 2005 the Food and Drug Administration has blocked donors from all over Western Europe.While some sperm banks had enough frozen stock(under the circumstances..

I think that's a funny term)to cope with demand, they now face shortages.No body is happy about this.."The consensus in the United Kingdom is that this is a silly ban," said Dr. Allan Pacey, an andrology expert at the University of Sheffield."There's no evidence to show that mad cow disease can be transmitted in human semen."

Dr.Gianpiero Palermo, and associate at Cornell University's Center for Reproductive Medicine, said it shouldn't matter anyhow..."There's absolutely no difference between American and European sperm," he said."If you are looking for a specific type of donor, we can find whatever genetic qualities you want in the U.S."..

'Yeah.....our sperm is as good as your sperm...nana nana boo boo...'Jeez, if we can't get the blond/blue-eyed babies from Denmark..does that mean we will have a rash of brown haired/brown-eyed babies?...Oh wait..we already have them..their called illegal aliens..

DAM NEWS THAT MADE ME LAUGH, PONDER AND WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS

MATTEL APOLOGIZES TO CHINA FOR RECALLS..

What the fuck?...They poison American kids and they kiss China's ass?..They should be in the prone position kissing the millions that have been buying their shit and paying for it with the health of their kids. I could really get behind kicking some of those corporate asses.

This is the article by Alex Veiga, from the Associated Press.

Mattel Inc.tried to save face Friday with Chinese officials, taking the blame for the recent recalls of millions of Chinese-made toys..(Judas Fucking Priest!...Saving face with the Chinese?...Give me a fucking break..that is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard..) Analysts said it was striving to mend a strained relationship with the nation that makes most of its toys and fattens its profits"Mattel takes full responsibility for these recalls and apologizes personally to you, the Chinese people, and all of our customers who received the toys," Thomas Debrowski, Mattel's executive vice-president for world-wide operations, told Mr. Li.

The unusual move reflects how invested Mattel has become in China.(well fuck yes,they make their toys with lead, but that's no big deal..it's so much cheaper and the profits for them are so high)

Peter Navarro, a business professor at the University of California,Irvine, and author or The Coming China Wars, suggested Mattel was trying to avoid punitive measures.

"Mattel is worried that the Chinese government is going to make it difficult for them to produce, put their costs up and hurt their stock price," Mr. Navarro said..(If I was a young mother/father today..I would be boycotting Mattel toys and any toy made in China...I don't recall any toys made in the good ole USofA that had lead in them...)

Mattel stock fell from the mid-$23 level after the first recall in early August, but shares have rebounded, increasing 38 cents, or 1.6 percent, to $23.94 on Friday...(com'on parents these are you kids here.)

Mattel has ordered three high-profile recalls this summer involving more than 21 million accessories and toy cars because of concerns about lead paint or tiny magnets that could be swallowed.

Mattel previously said many of the toys were recalled because of design problems..

It said certain vendors in China or their subcontractors violated Mattel's rules by failing to use safe paint or to run tests on paint.

Lead-tainted toys accounted for only a small percentage of all toys recalled. In a prepared statement issued, Mattel said its lead-related recalls were "overly inclusive, including toys that may not have had lead in paint in excess of the U.S. standards.

Mr. Li upbraided Mattel for maintaining weak safely controls and reminded Mr.Debrowski that "a large part of your annual profit..comes from your factories in China."(that is Mrs. Li describing Mr. Li's dick)

"I really hope that Mattel can learn lessons and gain experience from these incidents," Mr. Li said.

He added.....that Mattel should "improve their control measures.".....

Oh, if I was a Mama that had bought a lead based toy from Mattel, right about now I would be returning every toy I had ever bought from them and would refuse to buy any more..plus I would be seeking out Mr. Debrowski and Mr. Li so I could kick their ass...

fuckme I'll never buy Mattel again..

OK..on to stuff that makes me ponder and laugh..

CHARITY EFFORT FALLS FLAT(no pun intended)

The idea was cooked up by a fraternity, which made it suspect from the get-go...in spite of its purported effort to raise funds for breast cancer research. The "Jugs for Life" exhibit, touring the country in a 53-foot tractor-trailer rig, displays 75 pairs of "artfully decorated"fake breasts, some of which are wired to perform stunts.To call the show sophomoric(a press release describes breasts as "man's best friends") is to give it undue credit...regardless of its good intentions.

Did you know among faculty at 32 elite colleges,Democrats out number Republicans by more than 10-1???

"I told her it was a nice snake.'Nothing can happen.Watch.' It got a hold of my tongue."

....Matt Wilkerson, an Oregon man who was drunk when he stuck a rattlesnake's head into his mouth.(Associated Press.)...what can I say to that?....Even in Texas we know better then to stick a rattlesnake's head into your mouth..

I have more stupid stuff...but this should hold you for a while..snort*

.......34-10.......

Great balls in cowtown....

Ahh life is good when it comes to the cowboys..

Old yellowdog..is a happy camper..Although the first quarter like to have given me a heart attack...Plus I got so pissed off and after screaming a variety of swear words at Williams who threw a block instead of wrapping up the running and he made a touchdown for Chicago..I actually resorted to childhood cuss words...I called him a poo poo head...I just ran out of cuss words..and after losing Asshole I just can't bear to use that word to cuss at anyone anymore..so that has limited me also..But my boys are 3-0...and we play Saint Louis next week..Another thing I am happy about is that Bret Farve tied Joe Montana's touchdown record with 420...ole Bret is looking good for an old fart...

Speaking of Asshole..I'm going to the paper today and put an ad in and see if someone might have seen him...Maybe someone took him and he's wore out his welcome and they are willing to give him back..I also want to thank everyone for their sweet comments about his disappearance..I cried when I read each and every one...but seems like I cry a lot since he's been gone..who knew such a little pain in the ass could leave such a big hole in my heart?..thank the Goddess the Cowboys are winning..a losing team and the loss of the Asshole..jeeze..I'd really be in the dumps..As it is...I'm just so happy with my boys and the fact that I am 30-13-5 for the season so far....I been picking me some winners..more ties then ever..the bookies are good at that point spread...Also...not to brag or anything..but the Dallas quarterback Tony Romo just became the third quarterback in the Super Bowl era to pass for more then 3,500 yards in his first 13 starts...nana nana boo boo...stick your head in doo doo...

FUCKME TILL I THROW AN INTERCEPTION..!!

I put away the second dish ....I took the second liter box out to the dumpster and threw it away..I put away all his little play mice and only bought enough cat food today for one..Don't know where he is...don't know what happened to him...but as of Sunday at 10am the littlest asshole is gone..no one has seen him since then...I have looked, asked,put up signs,interrogated neighbors, visitors and strangers on the street...my little buddy is gone...my fucking heart is broke...

MY WEIRD VIEW ON 'STUFF'

"People have often said about the Clinton's, they don't care who they hang out with as long as the people can be useful to them, they will find a way to make it work."..Unidentified "major" Hillary Clinton fundraiser, on the candidate's involvement with crooked money man Norman Hsu.(The New York Times,Wed.)...

This is why I am not getting my hopes up about Hillary Clinton for President..Because...lets face it..we all know there are many many skeletons buried in closets from Arkansas to Washington and I think the Republicans know where at least one of them is buried and will drag it out the week before the election...That's how Lyndon Johnson got to be the Vice President with John Kennedy...He knew all about the women and ole Lyndon wasn't afraid to tell all unless it got him on the ballot..(I'm reading The Darker Side of Camelot)That's why I am for Barak Obama...and unless he has a big titted blond hidden away someplace...he's got a better chance then Hillary..Although I'm still holding out for Al Gore...hmmm, maybe he knows what the Republicans know and is waiting for Hillary to go up in flames and then will step in...jeez....I don't fucking trust anybody..

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS FOUND WORKING AT ARMY BASE.

Twelve illegal immigrants working as landscapers at Fort Bliss near El Paso were detained Friday by military police and turned over to immigration authorities, an official said...

Ok, lets get the full picture here..Mexican landscapers near El Paso...which is a hop, skip and a jump from the border..gee ya assholes, what gave you your first clue?...fuckme till I run a roto-tiller.

FORD MEMORIALIZED IN MICHIGAN MAZE.

In a tribute to Gerald Ford, a farm not far from where he grew up in Michigan created a maze in a cornfield in the likeness of the nations 38Th president, who died last December

(I wonder if the maze is of him tripping and falling from Air Force One?)

COWBOYS CHEERLEADERS VISIT IRAQ.

U.S. Troops in Iraq were treated to a performance by the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders on Saturday(last),part of a five-stop USO tour for the squad.

Now everyone knows that I love my Cowboys and am very proud of our Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders...but Judas fucking priest...no wonder they fucking hate us...Lets see how many ways we can insult the people of the country we have invaded and bombed the shit out of....Half naked women jumping around and shaking their tits....I know our boys deserve some entertainment..but couldn't we get someone to go entertain them that wore some clothes and weren't shaking their tits? I think that is pretty insensitive and insulting...but then what the fuck do I know?(other than not being able to lip sync her own songs, looking a little loopy, and making a bad apparel choice...I thought Ms Spears body looked pretty good for having a 1 year old and a 1 1/2 year old. So the bra and panties didn't fit or look good, she still looked pretty damn good....but I also think she should cover up her beaver as I have seen all of it I want to..)

COWBOYS 37-------MIAMI 20

TOUCHDOWN........COWBOYS....
BROUGHT TO YOU BY...BUDDHA_BOY..

rah rah ree....

kick 'em in the knee...

rah rah rass....

kick 'em in the .......

other knee.

boomalocka...boomalocka

sis...boom...bah...

buckle up winsockee...buckle up...

Ahhh..live is good...

.......LIFE WITH A CRAZY.......

Cat makes getting up in the morning very interesting....and just a little scary..

The little "Asshole" has been so disruptive during the am hours around 5-5:30 that I have had to lock him out of the bedroom so I can sleep.

Which means when I get up, I never know what I'm going to find..books all over the floor,paper scattered from room to room, the rug in the kitchen is draped across the back of the couch(still don't know how he managed that)..all the plants are dug up and dirt every where..toilet paper is shredded and scattered all over the house..and the butter I keep out on the counter has lick marks, and there are little patty paw prints all over the counter..He goes into the entertainment center and scatters my movies and Cd's of music every where..the 45's from the record pile are all over the carpet..This morning I found all my pictures and the frames I had put out to use were all over the dining room floor and he had ripped to shreds one of my favorite Indian baskets..I have never seen an animal live up to his name like this one. He has figured out how to get the doors open for the cupboards under the sink, which means I have garbage scattered over the area that would have normally been covered by the rug but it's in the living room..Most of this goes undetected as he is a silent house wrecker..except that now he has discovered the door stop...there is one in the bedroom, the living room and one for the bathroom door that opens into the hall way

right by my door...so I get woke up to 'twaaaaaaang'....3 second pause..

'twaaaaang'...3 second pause..

'twaaaaaaaaang...

twaaaaaang...

twaaaaang.'

1 second pause..

'twangtwangtwangtwangtwang'

..you get the picture..I started out with the spray bottle with just water..then I went to

1/2 water, 1/2 vinegar...now it's all vinegar and he could give a flying fuck..I can squirt him about 8 times really fast right in the face and he just strolls off..only time he acts like he's afraid of it, is when he thinks it's some sort of game..I try and figure out what I ever did in my past 63 1/2 years to deserve this little fucker in my golden years...but there are too many things to count...but still...give me a break..I went in to the kitchen the other morning to make my daily oatmeal and stepped on the carpet and there was a yowl and I nearly fell on my ass...the Asshole was under the rug sound asleep...and I didn't see him..him being UNDER THE FUCKING RUG...I can't take a crap without him attacking me from behind my Texas flag shower curtain..and he likes to sleep on the back of the toilet so that when I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night(I never turn the light on)..I don't know that he is on the back of the toilet until he attaches all 4 claws to the back of my head and goes 'meoooooow'..all I can say is it's a good thing I am where I am ..as he scares the shit out of me..Little fucker..and I swear after he does that he is laughing his ass off..

Other then that?....life is normal..

WHERE THE HEL IS HOG HEAVEN?

I've always been convinced that the Yellowdog was a month short of a calendar year, but after last night I'm sure of it..I haven't heard that much yelling, screaming, cussing, begging, pleading and weeping since ..well, since Loki stole my necklace and I had to sleep with those horny little dwarfs to get it back...Who would have thought a football game would bring out such passion in the Yellowdog?...I do believe that I haven't seen such enthusiasm since the Aztec's version of this game..of course if you lost..you lost your head and there were no gents in black and white stripped uniforms and yellow flags to keep you in line..

On to the question and answer time..

Nit wit is concerned about why blogging about politics makes him so depressed?...That's easy..the politics of this country can be bought and sold to the highest bidder..that would depress me too.Oh, by the way..have a great vacation.

Jan wants to know where she left her diaphram...look deep Jan...very deep...a little deeper....ah, there it is...

The Rube wants to know how many boy friends Payton Manning has...I belong to the don't ask ...don't tell school of thought when it comes to sports hero's and their 'friends'...don't want to be outing anyone here.

Lavender wants to know how to start a successful porn site and the best I can come up with is:practice...and run it by hand...

Blue Momma needs another baby...dear friend of the Yellowdog..no one NEEDS another baby..but if it is your desire to have another baby..I suggest adopting...too many children need loving families...give one of them a good home..

BBC, the Goddess thinks men need women a lot more then women need men..some of them just don't know it yet, but they will.

Josh wants to know what mankind's biggest mistake is...well, for a start, they fucked up when they refer to themselves as mankind..especially how screwed up your world is..and it was all started and brought about by stupid white men..supreme rulers on your planet?..I think not..this planet has been going to Hel in a hand basket every since 'mankind' stopped worshiping the Goddess and started worshipping God..there is still plenty of time for you to change your ways..The Goddess is very forgiving.

Tex wants to know why some people want to imprison or other wise pick on people that are slightly different from them, even if they in no way effect their lives...That's easy enough Tex..they are afraid and insecure..and by putting people that are different from themselves, it makes them feel superior...which is a bunch of crap as we all know..but that won't change as long as you continue to allow a book written thousands of years ago guide you in your daily life..That book has been transcribed from at least 15 different languages..and each translation something gets lost...Jesus thinks you're all fools...but fun to watch...( I figure if those money grubbing preachers can quote Jesus, so can I.)

Now that I have offended all the Christian readers of the Yellowdog..I will go gather up the soldiers who have died in battle and take them to Valhalla..Blessings on you my children..

.......HOG HEAVEN.......

Yes, folks...old yellowdoggranny is one happy old lady...not only did the cowboys win....45-35(sorry Buddha_Girl)...but the fucking Philadelphia Eagles lost...Yes, there is a Goddess and she did good..So for for this week I am 9-3-1..Still 2 games tonight so depends on how they go for my final bets..I am going to have my bookies summer home at the end of the season if this keeps up.

The only thing bad about our win was how badly our defense sucked..hell, I'm a crippled old lady and can tackle better then them guys did last night..and special teams?...wasn't so special...we have injuries, but JJ has the bucks so he needs to get us some replacement players..But I can't tell you how I love to look at my TV and see Coach Wade Phillips on the side line...you can see every play in his face..he grimaces, grins, frowns, rolls his eyes,scrunches up his face...it's all there..every play..I love it...and when they score..oh my Goddess,the grin goes from ear to ear and it is a joy to behold...just a contrast from that smirking/snarling face of that old Yankee coach Bill Parcells,before...a pox on him..hooray for my Boys..and fuck you Philly fans..and if that isn't enough good news..Pee Wees back...Paul Reuben's is going to be on Pushing Daisies..He will play the potentially recurring role of

Alfredo Aldarisio, a traveling homeopathic-antidepressant sales rep...I hadn't even planned on watching that show..but if it has peewee in it..I'm a watching it..It's on ABC..so be on the look out..peewees back..I are in HOG HEAVEN..

sigh*....life is good..