I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

.......BUCK NAKED.......

What the hell does that mean...? I know it means sans clothes..but where the fuck did that expression come from...who was the first person that saw a naked person and thought "Why, that person is buck naked."????? Buck as in deer? Buck as in deer hide? Just what the fuck does that mean...and naked as a Jay Bird...Jay birds aren't naked..they have feathers...and who ever looked at a naked person and thought "Why, that person is as naked as a Jay Bird..."..???? Which brings us to what? I am sittling at the computer buck naked and naked as a Jay Bird... it feels good...I did bring a towel and put it on the computer chair to keep Rocky's hair from getting up my crunt..But here I sit, naked as the day I was born...with a lot more skin but basically the same...My mother said when I was born I didn't cry...that I came out looking all over the place...but I didn't cry...the Dr. said he had never delivered a baby that wasen't born crying or screaming..unless they the baby was ill....but I was healthy as a horse...fat and sassy...kind of like I am right now...so ...I have come full circle....naked, fat and sassy...
I called my friend David yesterday and played the helpless damsel.....he knows better but he likes thinking he is coming to my aid..which he is...So he put together my little bbqer I paid $5 for....and hooked up my $2.75 answering. machine...I was going to have him help me with my closet but didn't want to push my luck....He is still recovering from his weekend in Mexico..the annual golf, booze wild sex, trip he and friends take every year..He has a steady ho he sees when he goes there and she not only gives him a discount, she makes sure he gets safely to a cab and back across the border...I told him before I croaked I wanted to go on one of those trips, although I can't golf as my tits are to big.You can't shoot around the girls...He said no women...I said, bullshit....I will go and dare anyone to throw me off the bus....Besides..I can keep a secret....Although if they refuse to let me go I will be forced to tell their wives what they really do on that the 'golf trip'...
My granddaughter Jamie went redneck on her boyfriend..She was with her girlfriends and they drove down his street and he was there with the chippy.....and Jamie threw a rock and hit his truck and put a huge dent in it...he is threatning to call the police...I am making a phone call tomorrow and explain the facts of life to him...Like he is lucky it was the truck that got the dent...and that it was Jamie and not me that tossed it...That he is getting off light with just a dented truck..and if he calls the police I will see that he walks with one hand over his left ball for the rest of his young life...as I will have his right ball in a jar on my computer desk...he knows me ...and fears me....some times having a reputation has its benefits...There are still enough stories about me pinning a guys nutsack to a bench with a pool stick, or kicking a guy in the nuts with very pointy cowgirl boots so hard he wet his pants, fell to the ground and cried.....in that order...so i don't actually have to do anything any more.....my reputation precedes me...besides even if I can't do the ass kicking any more...I know plenty of people who can...and will...so Zac is going to have to learn a life lesson......a jackiesue life lesson....Don't mess with my family...Hmmmmmm, I think I see a TV series ......wonder who I can get to play me....?
fuckme ...no one can play me....I will play myownself....

8 comments:

Scottish Toodler said...

Remind me to NEVER piss you off!!! LOL!!!

Astronaut said...

Buck naked?! A strange change from butt naked, sometimes people do that to make meaningless but funny words. Like twanker for example is the only one i can think of. Why people put these random letters in words i dont have a clue. Anyway very funny post, especially that quote at the end.

Nit Wit said...

I always thought that buck naked refered to an Indian buck but I could be wrong. I never had a clue about the Jay bird saying.

It's finally starting to warm up a little here. we got up over 60 yesterday. Now in a few weeks I'll be able to bitch about how I hate the heat.

JDaaris said...

I happen to prefer the word neckkid to nude for some strange reason... BTW, how is Bailey doing... and Mojo? I think about them from time to time; give her my best please.

Lisa said...

buck naked, naked as a Jay bird- i don't understand either of them.
i envy your reputation. i've never actually kicked a guy in the balls. something for my to-do list.

Linda said...

heheheheheRubyrocks! Yeah, I miss old Buck Owens myself. Heehaw was one of my favourites way back when. As for the right ball, they sell anything over there...$5,700 and rising on a schoolbus that stayed under water for weeks in New Orleans. But like you say, depends on who donates the ball :D
Jacki, go bip him in the balls. Teach him a leaason. Looks like Jamie is taking after Gramma (but she has a long way to go to catch you up!)..hugz, Linda

Linda said...

PS I say buck-naked and naked as a jaybird myself, and never thought about it *hmmmmmm*

Jack said...

If I ever run into trouble, I want you on my side, Jackiesue!

;-)