I'm a liberal pagan living in West,Texas..yes that West,Texas

Saturday, January 27, 2007

ATHENS, TEXAS DECLARES WAR ON NEW HAVEN, CONNECTICUT



New Haven, Connecticut is fixing to get a croaker sack full of whup ass slapped upside their Yankee heads..Here's the sordid grisly tale. "In the early 1880's, Fletcher Davis, sold "meat sandwiches" at the town square, across from the court house. Everyone loved ole Fletcher's sandwiches, but one of his biggest fans was the town's most prominent family, the Murchisons.(Their descendants eventually became the original owners of the Dallas Cowboys.) After some time, the Murchisons paid to send Mr. Davis to the St. Louis World's Fair in 1904, where he unveiled the sandwich with a patty stacked with cucumber pickles, a blend of mayonnaise and mustard and a slice of Bermuda onion to the rest of the country. In 1984, Athens installed a commemorative marker at the spot where Mr. Davis peddled his sandwiches ...right across from the courthouse. The town also has an annual hamburger cook off, and as they say, the rest is history..It only makes sense that hamburgers would originate in Texas...We have beef coming out our ass...which is why our asses are as big as some cows..
Now this is where it gets ugly...for fucking years ole Bush has claimed Texas as home, when we all know
the asshole was born in New Haven, Connecticut...like I always say....'all hat and no cattle'...
Well, now New Haven must be pissed
because he won't claim them, so they are trying to say...THEY invented the hamburger..yeah, that place is crawling with cattle...They say they came up with the hamburger in 1900...bullfuckingshit I say...
This battle started when Rep. Betty Brown, R-Terrell, filed a bill in November that would declare Athens, "the Original Home Of The Hamburger."...Like to see the schmuck that votes against THAT bill..He'd have to move to New Haven.
Of course we invented the hamburger..just like we invented Chili..way back when...In San Antonio...(San 'Tone to ya'll) ..There used to be Chili sold
on every street corner..till finally they started putting up chili pot shaped restaurants everywhere..they even had Chili Queen contests and it was a really big deal..That is until they found out that most of the Chili Queens worked the streets...and not peddling chili either..if you get my drift...
I remember in H. Allen Smith's book on the Great Chili Confrontation that everyone remarked on how the Chili Pots looked like chamber pots...or as we called them...piss pots..
So here's what I have to say to all you Yankee's in New Haven..ya'll better back off, or we're pack up that little asshole down in Crawford and ship his Yankee ass right back to you...C.O.fucking D.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

i read h allen smiths book but i'll still put my money on hank hill and rusty shackleford.

sink sink socks said...

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Babs said...

Wait... I was distracted by the spam comment.
Hmmmm.... cheeseburgers....

Anonymous said...

Chili on every street corner sounds good to me.
I like chili burgers and chili dogs.
And I wonder why I've got a fat ass!

apositivepessimist said...

Ut oh Granny May get tha fucking shotty out. Bastids are stealing our claims to fucken fame.

I might have been distracted by the spam if it had said pink skinned cocks.

Anonymous said...

Being that the hospital I work at is in CT. I just don't know what to say, yeah right!

I tell you the people are so uptight here and so fucking cold and mean. Rudeness is a way of life here and I noticed I was starting to pick up some of their rudeness from living here and checked myself, eh.

You betcha!

Anonymous said...

I'll have a portion of chili with a side and a half of schwartz menschen maschen sex please.

But hold the onions.

yellowdog granny said...

rubyrocks: how can you go wrong with a guy who names his dog after ladybird johnson...???
sssocks: i have some left over anti-depressants in my medicine cabinet if you would like to experiment with them.??
babs: i wonder who the genius was that decided...hey what this meat sandwich needs..is some cheese?...we should build a monument to them too..
cheesemeister: welcome back sweetcakes..you been missed...which blog site to I go to..you have 38 of them..???
apos:them yankees make my red neck ass red....they will learn...'don't mess with texas.'
nancy: well, what do you expect from a city and state that gave us george w bush.???
beany:no onions? oh man..have to have onions..and a few slices of chili peppers...nummmy

Anonymous said...

I thought Babs Dad invented the true Cheeseburger.
I bet the Greeks will dispute the Texas claim to making chili. In the big cities around here we have Greek style chili.
A four way is pasta covered in chili and shredded Cheddar cheese and diced oinons with chili dogs piled with the same stuff.
We always called chamber pots Thunder Mugs which seems a proper name. First you eat all the chili and then fill it up without cooking.
Gee, I never get spam like you do anymore. Maybe they think I'm past it.

Josh said...

And interestingly enough, the world's first vegetarian restaurant was established in Hamburg, Germany. Go figure.

Cheesemeister said...

If New Haven claims they invented hamburger, then Texas should claim to have invented lobster thermidor, or one of those other things that would be served on the East coast.

Anonymous said...

OK. But who invented the cow?

Kayakdave