I'm a liberal pagan living in West,Texas..yes that West,Texas

Thursday, January 11, 2007

HIRE THE HANDICAPPED..WE'RE FUN TO WATCH

I don't know if I mentioned it but the retirement homes are all handicapped proofed...When I first opened the door and looked in, I immediately thougtht ........"Military Housing". It reminded me of every base housing I have ever lived in...Bergstrom, Hickam,Kelly Field,and the one's in Laredo,Texas..It has that not quite white, not quite beige wall paint, so it doesn't show dirt...the carpet is only in the living room and the bedroom and it is the industrial gray no shag type..probably got it from the local prison...each room has a emergency red switch so if you fall down you flip it and a buzzer goes off in the office...and Charlotte is only there about 3 days out of the week, so don't know who would hear it even if I used it..plus if I fall down I would have to have arms like Wilt Chamberlain to be able to reach it...but the kicker is the bathroom, which has grab handle bars all over the fucking place...it is damn near the biggest room in the apartment...can waltz in there...But the really fun part was when I took a bath the first night...was so beat, and back hurt like a motherfucker...so filled it up with hot, hot water with bath oils and stepped in the tub and sat down..my knees slammed right into my chin...the depth of the tub is only about 12 inches...I laughed my ass off...tried to bend over to rinse my hair under the faucet and my face went under the water...so I may revert back to showers...need to hang up my Texas State Flag shower curtain so I can actually rinse my hair off...
The rest of the flooring is the old 12' sqares of beige/gray tile..and cold ...I will have to spend some bucks on rugs...I have my huge indian rug still out in the truck, but need to take it to a cleaning place as it is icky ...I think once I get it cleaned I will just lay it right over the shit brick gray stuff that is there...what color curtains do you get to go with shit brick gray????...
I put up my mayan statues and hung up some pictures..even hauled out my little water fountain..and it makes a soft running water noise and freaks the fuck out of Annie..she doesn't know what it is, but is sure that it is going to get her and she stalks it all day long..I will get a camera and take some picts of my new 'pad'....
Last night while in bed reading I took my new back massager and used it on Annie..oh man..does she love that sucker...she hooked her claws in the sheet and was purring and rolling all over the bed..she actually twisted around so fast, she fell off the bed....She tried to act like she meant to fall off the bed, turn 3 flips in the air and land on her feet..
I called the cable company and I think I may have to add some new assholes to my 'you gotta be kidding list'...I called and gave her all the information and she said she would have her supervisor call me back as she didn't know how to put the order in...it will cost $49.95 installation and $41.95 for the cable..I asked her what kinds of channels I would get and she said 'oh..there are great family shows like the ABC Family channel and Fox news.....'...long silence..'I don't like family shows and I hate Fox news..so I think you need to use some other shows to lure me in..'...hell, she didn't know how..and no one has called me back yet...dufus..so went to the hardware store and bought a $20 antenna and it gets almost as many channels as my old antenna did..fuckem..
Hopefully by tomorrow my new computer will be here...if not..see ya..Saturday..unless it rains...
fuckme till I wear rubber booties.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

WTF? Did I read that you moved to a retirement home??

Happy new year, JS!! (fine, it's 11 days late - sue me)

Anonymous said...

"oh..there are great family shows like the ABC Family channel and Fox news.....'...long silence.."

Hahahaa! Great selling points! Can you put a boot through a phone line? Too bad we can't just pay for the channels we watch.

Anonymous said...

I find that baby shit green,and blood blister maroon go quite nicely with shit brick gray..just sayin'. ;)

Anonymous said...

Grt blog!
can we have link xchange?
if intrstd access my blog at http://hillstationsinindia.blogspot.com
Comment on my blog.
Thanks
Sridhar

Anonymous said...

You must not have unpacked your Taboo yet or you would have mentioned the traditional splashing of.
I like the tub we had in Japan. it was 4 feet long and when you sat in it the water came up to your neck. The whole room was a shower stall so you just turned on the water and rinsed off no problem.
The bathroom was actually three seperate small rooms. You can figure out what was in the other two.
I think I told you that the first time I was in the hospital November before last was for dehydration and extremly low blood pressure. It wouldn't come up to where it needed to be no matter what they did. I got a brain storm and watched Fox News for an hour and it went right up. The doctors and nurses thought their care had caused my recovery.
Come on UPS don't screw up the delivery or you will feel the wrath of the Goddess.
Not to mention Jackiesue. :)

Anonymous said...

Did someone mention curtains?

Damn it's a pity you're all the way over there and I'm all the way over here, I could fix you up with so many pairs of curtains they'd be comin' out yer ears! I'd recommend a deep wine/maroon/claret colour (notice how I managed to get two references to booze in there? one track mind me) or a turquoise colour.

Fox news. I'm saying no more.

I know what you mean about the military housing too. Any of the rooms painted that 'faded urine' yellow colour? That was my personal favourite. Or the fact that everything, right down to the sheets and cutlery had arrows marked on them.

I'm sure you'll stamp your personality all over the new place in no time though. Happy new hoose and lang may yer lum reek! :)

Anonymous said...

i hope you like your new computer more than i liked mine. i wish i could get off cable but i lack your ingenuity.

Reg said...

I just can't imagine you in a retirement home. Those poor residents don't know what they're in for..... :)

Normy said...

Shit brick grey might look a little better with some nice cheery orange curtains.

JBlue said...

The color scheme sounds like every apartment I've ever lived in. Never mind, the more of your stuff that gets on the walls, etc., the more "homey" it will get. I think you're kind of liking it.

apositivepessimist said...

arhaahaa. weird. dogs when they do something goofy will look at you as if to say did ya see that...cats will pretend that was all part of the act.

how many other "units" are in the village JS?

Anonymous said...

That Sean Hannity... he's great with the kids, you know!

Or at least as good as Mark Foley!

Carina said...

Hey!!! Welcome home! I've had a crazy couple of weeks and haven't kept up with my online life & here you got all moved while I was "away".....yay for you & Annie the ass-kickin' cat just like her namesake. You'll have to send me your new address now.
My house was set up for disabled, I have grab bars in the bathroom, extra wide doors and a ramp up my back deck. I think it's kinda cool!

Anonymous said...

that shallow tub is funny!

sink sink socks said...

Though the study of dream symbolism is far removed from finality, we nowpossess storys gay a series of general statements and of particular observationswhich are quite certain.I know bildertausch der freundin men who would buyout half the house to have their personality put on the stage so thepublic would recognize it.Fluker the suggestion to quit a business so farbeneath his powers, sell gratis kling out, or rent out, or tenant out, or dosomething else with his farm, march into town, plant himself upon theruins of Jacob Spouter, and begin his upward soar.Butshe requested their company for that evening (naming nine o'clock asthe hour), and particularly desired an stellungen des kamasutra bilder immediate answer.

yellowdog granny said...

rocky:yup..and some of these old broads are pretty cool..talked to this lady yesterday who walks all over the place..margret is 75 and gets around better than i do..
happy new year to you too..will have to come see you again...
allan:i always thought that was the way to go...pay for the channels you want...for a certain amout you can have your pick of say 15 of 25 different channels...makes sense to me..
sling: blood blister maroon sounds good..
nitwit:your right..last night was the first night that i took bath and tabued my bed and ass...now it' like my home..i got a call last night at 10pm and it was ups..said they couldnt find my apt..yeah right..he was still in waco and didnt want to drive out there in the sheety rain..so won't get computer till monday...fuckity
beany: i think my lum is really reeking...think im going with some maroon, wine, burgandy etc..color..
ruby: i just think somethings should be easier than they make them and if they fuck with me..im history..so figure im saving myself $41 bucks a month...more computer time..
reg: when i think about me in a retirement home i start to laugh so hard i pee myself...think there are 25 or so in my section...and there are 3 units..but only 2 retirement units..the other one is for poor folk with kids..no kids here..thank the goddess..
normy:hmmmmm.. would that be oklahoma sooner orange?
jblue:you know..i really do like it...by goddesss....i like it alot..
apos:i think there are 25 in my unit...i have met 5 old ladies so far..they are all spry and fiesty..but i think there is not a full set of teeth amoung them..
josh:yup...
carina:yeah, my granddaughter jamie and boyfriend came over for dinner last night and they were all amazed at the size of the bathroom and bedroom doors...and the size of the bathroom..jamie said i could put a bed in there and she could sleep over..ha
ldawn:ya, took bath last night and cracked up again over bathing with my head on my knees
sssocks: what the fuck?

Anonymous said...

Fuck ingenuity, it's all about the speed, it's the speed I tell you!

Babs said...

I had the shit brick gray carpet for years! Now I have standard apartment beige. The joys of apartment living.