I'm a liberal pagan living in West,Texas..yes that West,Texas

Friday, January 26, 2007

.......BLOGGERS REVENGE.......

Last night I wrote the funniest, smartest best post that I have ever written and blogger ate it..Well, the first part is a lie, but the second part is the truth...fucking blogger....sigh*..oh well, will try and reproduce it, but you know how that goes...here tis'..
Some folks wanted to know how I like my new apartment, and stuff...I love the new apartment, even if it does have shit brick gray carpet..There are certain things I am have to get used to..first the traffic..not the cars and buses kind of traffic..but the people walking around kind of traffic..At my old house, it was pretty isolated..and if I saw someone outside my window, they were coming to see me..here I see people all the time. Walking to the garbage, to get their mail, to visit other neighbors and doing the laundry...All these fucking people are walking around right outside my window..I like to keep the blinds open and one side pulled 1/2 way up so I can get sunshine(when we have it) and Annie can check out the world...Freaks me out seeing all those people out there...I think they are coming to see me...fuck!...I could stop the paranoid feelings by
shutting the blinds, but I won't because I like the sunshine...and to top it off, I am not used to the noises..not so much the ones outside but the ones coming from the heater and the refrigerator..Living in a house heated by gas, there was no noise..gas doesn't make noise..electric ac/heaters does...they turn off, they turn on, they run...noisy...and then the refrigerator I think is haunted..it makes weird moaning sounds..Annie will sit right in front of it and twist her head back and forth looking and listening to it make the moaning sounds..The lady that lived here before croaked..maybe she came back for her Ensure..This is two places I have moved into where the person that lived there had died.. That's about the only way you can get a place to live in West is for someone to die...You don't get measured for a coffin here, you get measured for a house...'looks like a 2-bed, 2-bath to me Anton.'...'ya, Orlan, but is she a detached garage? She's got to be a detached garage, I need me one of them detached garages.'...
Speaking of the dead...I was at the library the other day and the big conversation was about burials..to be cremated or not..and put in the ground if you have been cremated or have your ashes spread...Some little old lady was very very against cremation and being buried in a mausoleum..She said she had been to a cousin's funeral in Dallas and they put him in a mausoleum..she was very upset..said it reminded her of the post office ...said 'It looked just like one of them mail boxes at the post office and they just shoved him into one of them little slots..' This conversation about burials came from the little fliers that the 2 funeral homes in town pass out..When someone dies the funeral parlor they go to sends out a little flier to all the business's of West and it has their picture, age, where they died, when the viewing will be and when the funeral will be..They also have a website where you can leave messages for the family.
So when you go some place you automatically read the flier and if you knew them you are obligated to tell a story about them..if you didn't know them you probably knew some of their kin, which will do for a story..As in..I didn't know Mrs.Pustejovsky, but I went to school with her cousin Henry Zahurniak..you know the one that drank so much he hit ole Ray Mikeska's cow out on route 1831?..I love it when there is a flier out..get to learn all the dirt about their family..the expression 'never speak ill of the dead' hasn't made it to West yet..
Which reminds me of the two factor in West..There are two of everything...2 Funeral Homes, 2 Drug Stores, 2 grocery stores, 2 electrical repair shops, 2 Dollar Stores, 2-banks,2 hardware stores(well one is also a lumber co.)2 liquor stores, 2 auto-parts stores, and for every bar there is a church...It's very important in town that certain people go to the 'right establishment'...I of course go to all the wrong ones...I don't know which Funeral Parlor is the wrong one, but will make sure I pick it when I croak...
The weather has been beautiful the past few days and for the rest of the week and weekend we are promised more.. It's in the 60's and sun is shinning...life is good here in West, By Goddess, Texas...life is good..

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like your new place is in New York. There isn't a square patch of space anywhere in this city where you won't see people, or be affected by the noise they create. You've gotta be on your guard even when you sleep!

Anonymous said...

Maybe you could get some of that plastic stick-on stuff that makes your windows like frosted glass. The sun could shine in but the view would be blocked. I know what you mean, I never lived in an apt. but I did live in a trailer park which is almost the same thing. Have you scandelized the neighbors yet?

Anonymous said...

With all those people walking around...well, just get the fuck out of there if you start hearing reports of Zombies.

yellowdog granny said...

OK...I'M SURE BY NOW YOU GUYS KNOW THAT I TEND TO STRETCH THE TRUTH A LITTLE..I AM FROM TEXAS YOU KNOW....SO WHEN I SAY I SEE LOTS OF PEOPLE...THAT MEANS I PROBABLY SEE 4-5 PEOPLE A DAY WALKING AROUND..BUT THAT IS MORE PEOPLE IN ONE DAY THAT I WOULD SEE IN A MONTH AT THE OTHER PLACE...AND A FEW OF THEM DID LOOK LIKE ZOMBIES...BUT I REALIZED IT'S JUST THAT LOOK THAT OLD FARTS GET..
I THINK I BROKE THEM ALL IN PRETTY GOOD WHEN I WAS MOVING IN AND DROPPED SOMETHING AND SAID 'OH FUCK'....EVEN THE BIRDS STOPPED SINGING...

apositivepessimist said...

yer know the time between me remembering to refresh yer blog when I’m in fireFox and staring at the same post is lessening as each month goes by.

yes I feel yer pain in close cohabitation. takes a bit to get used to.

or you could play chicken with yerself and have a few chouffs, that’ll really spin yer paranoid-self out.

Anonymous said...

It was 9 degrees here when i went to work yesterday morning...

that is really not meant to be a temperature, but as my daughter said.. a football score

of course i survived and scraped the ice off of my car one in the morning and once in the afternoon...

where i work is like the tundra...
on top of a high hill, and wide oen spaces..


if i lived nearby.. i would visit you.. i do not know if i would be disappointed that the folks were not visiting me. or relieved... knowing me, i suspect relieved. it is not so much that i am anti social..i eat lunch with others at work..but when i am home, i mostly want to be left alone, thank you very much..

texas has always scared me

Anonymous said...

ps

cremated and spread about thanks...

apositivepessimist said...

don’t mind my thumb going up yer bum...won’t take but a minute.

yellowdog granny said...

apos: oh man..that would be hysterical..me on reefer here..i would be so paranoid, i would be in the closet clutching the cat.
kath:im like that too, as i like to socialize when it is my idea..the thougtht of people dropping in and saying howdy on their own makes me break out in cold sweat..and i think 9 is more of a baseball score..you can come visit anytime..i'll protect you..if your used to mountains and lots of trees the flatness of the land and lack of forests in central texas will unnerve you...
yeah, i want to be cremated too, but jamie one of my granddaughters threw such a fit about it, that i have decided to be buried..but not in one of those mail slots..

yellowdog granny said...

apos:(squeeling.....)thanks man...

Anonymous said...

I've actually made the mausoleum=post office analogy myself. They're not for me.

More people should opt for the Hunter S. Thompson approach to funerals: having one's ashes shot out of a cannon.

apositivepessimist said...

my pleasure.

*giggle*

Anonymous said...

I vote for tuesday...

maybe i will do the same!!!

I have always wanted to work in a library..

applied a couple of times..

they hired my daughter when she was fifteen

worked in a bookstore once..
tried tog et hired in another one a few years back

they hired my son instead

go figure

guess they are cuter..but I am smarter

well

wiser anyway... at least age gives ya that if you pay attention

have a cozy weekend

Anonymous said...

oh yeah...

i suggest you simply put of dying until jamie get over it..
give her a decade or two and she will realize that if granny wants her ashes in the foothills ( like me ) or on the prairie ( more likely you)
she should do so.

She will come around.. she clearly comes from good stock.. common sense and all that..

who knows i might get brave enough to visit texas one day, although I do agree that the flat would unnerve me..
i grew up here in hilly pennsylvania and fell in love with the blue ridge mountains years ago..

new mexico was a little unnerving , too..

Anonymous said...

josh: yea, i kinda like the hunter s. thompson way too..although since i saw that thing up in dallas where the guy uses cadavers to show the body, i have decided i want that for me when i die..but i want to be naked..giving the finger...that would be so cool...
Kath;i love sats at the library ..i have a great time with the helpers, next time i work i am bringing cards so we can play poker..plus i get to help the little ones find books and movies and man that is just great fun.
i think you would like texas..she has everything..moutains, to swamps, to beaches, to rolling hills, to deserts, to flat miles of nothing but red dirt..and big hearted semi-educated rednecks...gotta love it..
where in new mexico.i lived in roswell and farmington..

Anonymous said...

".I don't know which Funeral Parlor is the wrong one, but will make sure I pick it when I croak..."

hahahahaaha!

Anonymous said...

Ol Man and me both have to be burned, we don't want any creepy bugs eatin at us.
the girls each get to keep us on the fire place mantel (4 months a year) :)
just kiddin...we have the family plot to rest in with his parents

Babs said...

I leave my blinds open too. I like to look outside and use the natural light. But then, I'm on the 3rd floor. Don't see too many people walking around up off the ground.
My fridge makes strange noises too. Sometimes I think it's going to die, but it keeps gurgling, squealing and whatever... it runs and works.
Burn me! Burn me! Don't waste precious space with a big ol' coffin for me. Ashes scattered into a river. Fish food.