I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

BROUGHT TO YOU BY FRICK AND FRACK

Holy shit!...Where to begin?...Holy shit!...Made good time to Austin...got lost once but then after I got back on track I found my way to Shady and Brewster's house with no problem..and believe me...they live right next door to way the fuck out there..They live right on Lake Austin and one of there docks is almost under water..I spent the night and we had a great visit..I am crazy about those two people..and Brewster is like a big over grown kid..He lost part of his leg racing boats when he was way young..mid 20's I think..and he and Lane own a boat show and also make custom boats..if you want one...He ski's, races go-carts,fly's those motor ran airplanes, and helicopters..nothing stops him from doing what he wants..and Lane is all for it..says it's cheaper then him going out drinking and whoring...Lane's dad Bolish is 'polock'..that's what she calls him...he's a sweety..I will have no problem with him..We are back at his home in Kingsland and it's a ugly little town(bigger than West) but the people are so nice and friendly..but then...this is Texas..and we do friendly well..I have been trying for the entire day to get on line...Brewster's 'little friend'(as Lane refers to him)Vincent put me together a compaq,intel pentium with windows vista ...it's fucking fantastic...Lane and I were like Laurel and Hardy or Frick and Frack trying to get on line..we bought a double jack..still didn't work,bought a plug converter, still wouldn't work...finally Vincent called and walked me through getting on line..new dial up number ...had to talk to some schmuck in Indian named John to get my sign in name and password..well..duh! I can't remember either one of them..so remembered my sign in name and they gave me a new password..but couldn't remember the ips or ipq or what ever the fuck that thing is...I thought it was AT&T.net..he wouldn't sign me in till I remembered..said look John...I know my address, my phone number, my ss number and I have a tattoo on my left titty...give me some slack..what is it?...Finally he gave me a choice and when he said sbcglobal I remembered...what a mess..so anyhow..I'm hooked up and happy as a hog in slop...Rob is standing over me watching me type...he said I type good...ha..
I went with Rob and his dog Skippy (who is a little neurotic yippy terrier)on a walk and one of his neighbor ladies came out to welcome him back..and I introduced myself and she clasped my hand in both of hers..smiled really big and said :"Are you a christian?".....My first initial thought was...you nosy bitch...what the fuck?...You all know that if you don't want to know...don't ask(about anything)..if you ask..you're going to get the truth...so I said:"No, I'm not...I'm a pagan."..she actually clutched both her hands to her heart and gasped...and her big ass smile sorta slipped some...she said:"You don't believe in Jesus ?...your not a christian?"I said:"I believe that Jesus was a prophet and a really nice guy but I believe in a Goddess."...and it was one of those beautiful day with clouds the size of sailing ships and she pointed at the sky and said look at the Lord's work?" and I said:"And the Goddess is most pleased."...and she grabbed my hands again and started in on about giving myself over to Jesus..and I pulled my hands away and said:"Look, you asked me if I was a christian, and I said I wasn't..and I would never have asked you such a question because it's none of my business, but you asked me and I told you..and now your trying to sell me Jesus..I wouldn't try to change your views on Christianity and I resent you trying to change mine."..she said:"Oh, I'm not trying to do that(yeah,.....right)...and I said:"Well then..the subject's closed."....and Rob and I continued on our walk...fuck...who the hell greets a total stranger with "are you a christian?"...I was telling Brewster about it when he called and he laughed his ass off...said sounds like the OK corral..ha..
I am having fun here..Rob and I are going to get along fine..I get to cook for someone and 'mother someone'...and he gets to have someone take care of him...so it will work out...I don't know how long I will be here..when she doesn't need me any more...then I will go home..but I like being able to help her and Brewster..
Now that I am hooked up..I will stop by and say howdy..but right now...I am set up in a very uncomfortable place and getting cramps in shoulders and neck from typing this..so catch y'all later...

10 comments:

kath said...

jac

i thank the goddess every day that i somehow stumbled on your blog....i laugh frequently when visiting...

so good of you to leave hearth and home and kitties and help your friends...

do you really have a tattoo on your left tittie?

( i do... or actually just above... its only a little heart)
ok

gotta run... take care.. don't take on too much woman..
kath

Josh said...

Sounds like a fun visit except for the nosy neighbor. To each his/her own!

PS. Would you still consider 26 to be mid-twenties?

jan said...

Sounds like you're having a great time and as long as you blog, you can stay there. But stay away from weird people who don't sound very Christian-like to me.

buddha_girl said...

"Are you a Christian????"

She did NOT ask you that. I am soooo cracking up, Jac. I loved your answer and your firm nature. I loathe when people ask me that sort of question. Some day I will shoot back with, "Do you have erectile disfunction?" or "So how long have you been dealing with early menopause, and how does it affect your sex life?"

Perhaps people will back off if I use that tactic. Ha!

When you're no longer in need in Austin, pack your bags and head to Virginia. I know a little boy and his parents who would LOVE to have you come visit. You can even say fuckity fuck in front of him, and I won't flinch!

Sling said...

Woo-Hoo!..All hooked up and havin' fun.
If I had to have more than one password,there is no way I could remember.I'm surprised that guy didn't know who you were. ;)

Nit Wit said...

Back on line! It was getting too quite out here.
I love the Bean site.
Had a great time in FL. even though the sun almost killed me the first day.
You better watch out for old that fella. He might get attached and not let you go back to West.
You should have told the old biddy that in your faith you sacrifice Christians to your Gods. Or that there hasn't been a true Christian since Jesus.
Jackiesue is back on line, life is good.

yellowdog granny said...

kath:what a very sweet thing to say, that means so much to me...I'm glad we found each other.
yup..the tattoo used to be a eight ball, then as gravity took over it became more like a tear drop with an 8 in the center so had it changed to the dallas cowboy helmet with #40 (bill bates) on it..but it's ugly...some day will have it removed and the eight ball put back with the goddess holding it..ha
hey what I'm doing ain't rocket science...and it's what friends do.
josh:26 mid-twenty's???? nah...in my book that makes you a punk..hahahaha..yeah, it's kinda sorta fun...spent most of the day cleaning the kitchen ...
Jan:lanes mom said she was a witness...so that may account for it..but what do you bet she doesn't drop by to chat any time soon...heeheee
Budda_girl:I swear on my grandkids eyes...those were her first words to me..not even her name first...just are you a christian..had to censor about 3 different replies before I said what I did...wanted to say.."excuse me...I'm from West,Texas and we're a little backwards...we don't greet people with personal questions that are none of their fucking business."
but I opted for the nicer version.
I think I should make a tour of all my blogger family..go by and visit for about 2 days each..don't want to wear out my welcome like dead fish..
sling:yeah, I think those operators have a list of weird callers and I'm on the top..at least this one I could understand..he just had no sense of humor..I love this lap top..I'm going to see how much they will sell it to me...If not..I'm just stealing the fucker..ha
nitwit:yup...I was so excited when I got all hooked up..did a little rocky dance around the living room and rob wanted to know what I was doing..said celebrating cause I hooked up my computer all by myself..he said 'copasetic'...that and wicked are his favorite words..I'm teaching him my slang..figure I'll have him saying fuck in a few days..
it did get a little tricky last night when I walked him to his bedroom..he looked at me and said will I disturb you when you sleep? pointing at the bed..I said nope, I'll be sleeping in the other bedroom...he just looked confused..
yup...life is good..

High-Maintenance & Hostile Heidi said...

I'm glad to see you got the internet working and that you're still kicking ass.

I'm going to have to remember that pegan line the next time somebody asks if I'm a Christian. People are so damned rude and nosy.

I'm glad the coupons could be of use. I'll keep clipping and saving them for you so I can send them to you get back home. I wonder how the Little Asshole is doing?

yellowdog granny said...

HNHH:I still can't get over anyone asking another person such a question ...ever at all for any reason...i called my friend david and he said he had put the mail on the coffee table and little asshole had scattered it all over the apt...from one room to another.so david spritzed him good and now when david comes in the door little asshole runs in bedroom and hides under the bed,,haha...think asshole has met his match...

Allan said...

Bizarre and rude questioning- great replies!
Glad you got the 'pooter runnin', sorry if I giggled.