I'm a liberal pagan living in West,Texas..yes that West,Texas

Thursday, November 19, 2009


these are probably 2 of my favorite posts..cause they are about the little jackiesue who grew up to be me..Im sure Nitty and Tex and Billy will remember these...
you probably can't tell but in this picture the red headed kid (MIKE)on the left is pulling my hair and the tall kid(LARRY)is pinching me..Which explains the 'ouch' look on my face. If they had been able to have fast speed cameras back then you would have been able to see the 3 of us in a fist fight in the dirt. I won.
In answer to all questions...Jimmy Crack Corn is not a song about farting..that was just what came out of a hot sweaty Texas night in Sunnyvale, Texas with the kids bored silly and mischief in their hearts. Bright Yellow Gun asked if all southern kids had to have two names and I said no....but most of us did...but like my cousins that were called only by their first name were also called by both their names when they were in trouble...so Terry became Terry Lee when he pushed my doll buggy into a tree,and he also became suddenly punched in the stomach by Jackiesue right after. While I was telling BYG this,it dawned on me..THAT may have been the reason that Michael Ray, Larry Wayne and Jackiesue were called by both of our names...because we were always in trouble...huh....and we were too...My grandmother used to whip them with those wire fly swatters...she would wail on Larry Wayne and Michael Ray...I on the other hand was never whipped....My mother would have jerked Big Mama a new ass if she or anyone tried to whip me....I was NOT to be whipped, no matter the offense..I was to be led by the arm to mother and she would dole out what ever punishment she deemed necessary, which was usually a stern talking to and a threat to tell Daddy..that would shape me up very fast..I would be good ....just don't tell Daddy...not that Daddy ever whipped me or yelled or even punished me...it was THE LOOK. The look of pain, hurt and disappointment. Man, I would do anything not to get THE LOOK.. He also had another look, one that if I was being a little jerk and he caught me in the act...would give me THAT LOOK ..and it would freeze the blood in your veins and stop your heart...My parents never whipped me..but I always knew that there was a distinct possibility that if I pushed them far enough..they wouldn't whip me but would kill me...so I never pushed the envelope.somethings you just know..Growing up for the longest time it was just the 3 of us...we were older than all the other cousins by 4-5 years....then came Michael Ray's baby sister.............DIANE... the cutest damn kid you ever saw....and we hated her....well, we loved her..you had to love her..she was so damn cute...but she stole all our action....we not only had to take her everywhere and keep an eye out on her, she got everything first..first drink of kool-aid, first candy, first dime for ice cream....oh God we hated her...but we did admire her ability to get the main amount of attention...so we thought of many many different ways to cause her as much harm as possible with out actually drawing blood. In my Aunt Estelle's house you could make a circle in the house...go from bedroom to bath room to bed room to kitchen to dining room to living room to bedroom....so we put her (as we called her) Di....Ann...(two words)in the middle of the bed in the first bedroom and then start running through all of the rooms and make it right back to the bed before she crawled to the edge of bed and fell off...some times...we didn't make it....and would catch her by her wet soggy diaper...giving her the thrill of her life...she thought that was so much fun...so did we...of course sometimes she hit the floor, but we would gather her up and hug and kiss on her and she would laugh and forgive us...not knowing it was us that caused her to be hurt in the first place....Aunt Leola was the one that caught on to our little game and put a stop to that fast..She was always the one that kept us from killing each other...not with yells, screams or panic...she never lost it...she would just say things like' you know you're going to kill that child don't you?'...and we would shuffle our feet, look at the sky, ground, each other and say "yes, mamm."..and she would say "quitit"....and we would say "yes, mamm".......I often wonder how we all made it with out someone getting hurt really bad, or our mothers going nuts and locking us up in a room till we were 30..like Michael Ray always said y'all ain't nothing but a bunch of A-holes.....
2/24/2006 01:02:00 PM
I was reading the blogs that I read everyday and stumbled across jdaris's blog on jumbled thoughts and one was about jimmy cracked corn and not caring..which reminded me of my cousins..Michael Ray and Larry Wayne and me (Jackisue)out on the porch at Mike's house one hot Texas summer...Summer time Daddy would bring me up from where ever we lived and all of us kids would just bounce from aunts house to grandma's to another aunts house...so we are sitting on the porch and its probably about 10pm at night and hotter than the inner ring of hell...we are all in our underwear..I had no boobies then and at that time in history...little girls running around with no t-shirt was a normal part of life..so we are playing war, or go fish, or old maid..some card game ..and it didn't matter what game we played we all cheated and tried to out best the other two...so we're sitting in the hot Texas night, playing cards and singing silly songs..and all of a sudden Michael Ray starts to sing Jimmy Cracked Corn....and I don't care..and we joined in and we're singing along and cheating and sweating and Michael Ray pops his ass in the air and lets one go, loud and stinky and sings in falsetto "Michael cracked corn and we don't care".....well, my God, you would have thought that was the funniest thing in the world..we fell out on the porch laughing and laughing. So then we go back to the card game and for a least an hour we sat there playing cards, sweating and farting while singing "Jackiesue Cracked corn"...leg up...fart..... laugh hysterically... Michael Ray cracked corn..lift leg..fart..laugh hysterically....Larry Wayne cracked corn...leg up...fart.....and we laughed all night long..Big Mama(our grandmother) finally came out and told us to quit that farting and singing which sent us into gales of laughter...I think that is one of the few times when two of us was not in the process of killing the other one. We just were three hot sweaty farting cousins....or as Michael Ray always called us....'just a buncha A_holes'..


sageweb said...

I have a friend that lives here but was raised in Arkansas..and her name is Di...anne....two words. She is cute as all get out too.

I love the stories.another coincidence...I was singing jimmy crack corn the other day.

sageweb said...

But I wasnt farting.

Jan said...

The Di ann game sounds great. You should market it to the next generation.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Is there a kid alive who doesn't think farts are hilarious? Sometimes you just have to make your own fun!


sage:farting makes it better.
jan:oh lordy we were so mean.
Debrah:well, this was the 50's..nobody could afford a tv and the growdups had the radio so all we had was our evil imagination..so our fun was wicked and usually was to cause the most pain with out getting in asswipping trouble.
reading this again..brought tears to my eyes..as out of those kids..I'm the only one left.

Intense Guy said...

I remember this posting. :)

I wish there was something that would cheer ya up YDG... you've been in the dumps of late.

Hey, I got a thing in the mail today from Corsicana, TX for Collin Street fruitcake and pecan pie. You doing their recipes for 'em? Are they nearby?

rainywalker said...

It's wonderful for us to think of the past and how it used to be.

rosemary said...

Love the stories....my mother had a wooden spoon called the "lickin spoon"....she would grab that spoon and yell...."Rosemary, you're gonna get a lickin if you don't stop." And Idid....get a lickin because I was naughty that way. I liked the song Jimmy Cracked corn.....and Rag Mop as a kid.

Galt-in-Da-Box said...

They deserved a good beat-down doing that 2 U.
Never thought of Jimmy Cracked Corn as a fart song, we had others growing up, but that's Yankees.
Speaking of which, isn't going to a baseball game & rooting for the Yankees like going to Vegas and cheering for the House?

Kulkuri said...

Sometimes when you look back at your life as a kid, you wonder how you made it out alive.

Farting is always fun, but learned that when you light a fart, you better have clothes on.


intenseguy:i wish you were closer i'd send you a pecan pie that will knock your socks off..
dexter is starting to bring a smile to my lips..while cussing him at the same time.
rainy:most of my young kid memeories are pretty great.
rosemary:oh ragmop..great song. i never got whipped..well 2 times..ha..
ted:hell, I can't remember rooting for the yakees.
kulkuri:im telling you its really a wonder we ever kept from killing each other.

texlahoma said...

I remember, I felt like a kid again for just a second
"Jackiesue Cracked corn"...leg up...fart..... laugh hysterically
I had the Southern double name thing too, though I rebelled against it.

Nit Wit said...

I remember these. I remember thinking at the time that the reason your so umm, opionated is because you never got spanked when you were a little grannie.