one of my favorite posts..thought I'd recycle it and use spell check this time..
Jackiesue D_______ passed away yesterday evening while watching the Presidents speech about Iraq. "As well as we can figure she just went up in flames." said Freddy Gerik, local volunteer firefighter."I think they call it spontaneous combustion, but I'd never seen anything like it before. "Mrs. Maryruth Stroder was questioned by the police as she had called them to complain about the noise, cursing and furniture being tossed out of the house by Ms. D_______. "I have heard her yelling and screaming at the TV before when the President was on, but nothing like tonight, she just went crazy. The last thing I heard her say was "the Iraqi's had nothing to do with 9-11 you ignorant, no account motherfucker."..man, she was just so mad at him.."Other neighbors when questioned said they saw her standing in the door way tossing out furniture and then she threw out the tv..."Then the next thing we saw was her bursting into flames", said Mrs. Shroder as she wiped away a tear..."it was just awful, poor Jackie, who is going to take care of her dogs and cat?" When her son arrived he said he wasn't surprised. that she had gotten a lot worse about the President every since he got reelcedted. said he wasn't President, he was a fucking thief. Visibly shaken her son wept, She always wanted to be cremated, guess she saved us about $1,000. She wanted her ashes to be scattered on a patch of blue bonnets...so we will keep what's left of her in a KFC box until spring and then we will obey her last wish.."On being notified by her family, her blog friends were all saddened to hear of her death.."Well, at least she went out in a blaze of glory, too bad she couldn't have taken Forest with her", said her blogger friend Soonerfan78...At her family's request, in lieu of flowers please make donations to the election of Kinky Friedman for governor of Texas....
13 comments:
Oh that is good...I missed so much back in the '05.
Hilarious! And yet not implausible. My favourite LOL = "guess she saved us about $1,000." Hee hee!
I swear this probably came closer to happing than I'd like to admit..Bush used to make me fucking crazy.
We survived the Shrub and Darth Cheney and Condi and Rummy and Rove without spontaneous combustion. Cheney might run on a Palin ticket. Keep the extinguisher handy.
Cheney don't want to run, he's too busy hunting with friends and making too much money with his chain of S&M parlors.
If this is a recycled post, would that make it a compost? Just asking;)
That quote is priceless!
"KFC Box...." HAHAHAHAHAH!
I hope the box was at least a clean, non-greasy one.
I don't think you'd live through another Dubyah "mis-adventure" - I do wish Palin would disappear.
Hadn't read this one before! A total home run! Love the "KFC box" line.
Thank Goddess that Bush and his cabal are gone!
Well Liz, it's kinda like this chat room I was in back in '05 on linx.com where one of the fellows said "How did this country ever get so intellectually challenged as to elect George W. Bush...TWICE, of all things!" My response was - and is - "You ain't seen nuthin' yet!"
The correct answer to the question is "pubic screw-ools."
beauty!
the kfc box was a nice touch, kinda like the dude and walter putting donny in a coffee tin.
I too loved the cremation line.
And I love the fact that I haven't had that same urge to throw a television since January.
i have changed my request from being kept in a kfc bucket to a Blue Bell Ice Cream bucket...rocky road is my favorite but will settle for vanilla.
I can't see your ashes going through eternity in a vanilla box, and rocky road was what this life was supposed to be. Well, at least it's not Tuti Fruti.
Cheiney keeps coming out from under his rock and Bush has actually been speeking in public. I think they just told him that the White House was being renovated and he still thinks he's president.
He thinks Obama is just a handyman there trying to fix all the stuff that got broken during the Bush/Cheaney years.
I just want to be swept up into a dust pan and flushed down the crapper.
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