I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009


I'm a hit. I got all the ingredients to make my easy peasy Pumpkin Cheesecake and took them up to West Rest Haven and got it all set up and at first I thought I was going to be run out because they thought they were going to play domino and instead they got me. But once they figured out there was going to be dessert, they settled down. I was staring out at over 20 little old lady's and a few gents in wheelchairs and figured they could take me. It took a long time for them to get them all settled in and I'm just standing there thinking."I"m fucked, these old folks are going to turn on me and I'll never get out of here alive."...But they were very sweet and eager to like me and laughed at all my jokes and when I told them I lived at the Retirement Apartments and the only thing I missed about my little house was I couldn't do nekkid rain dances in the yard any more they all laughed and wanted me to teach them the dance. Of course a few of them wanted to know if I was Czech and I said no but I was a fond admirer of Gerik's kolaches. It only takes about 10 minutes to make the pies from top to bottom, and normally I'm a little stingy on the topping cause it looks better with just a nice ring of ready whip around the top. But knowing they were only going to get one small piece I loaded the top of those 2 pies with a ton of ready whip..They were oohing and aaahing all over the place. Every one loved it and were disappointed they couldn't have seconds. They were only allowed to have one piece as they are all on restricted diets. When I was looking for a knife to cut the pies I had to get Kathy( x-daughter-in-law..mother of Jenny and Jamie) to unlock the cabinet where she keeps them. When I found out they were rationed on sweets I said now I know why they lock up the knives, so you won't get one and take over the kitchen. They really thought that was funny. I was pretty proud of myself. With the exception of saying I thought I would be screwed if they didn't like the Pumpkin Cheesecake, because they outnumbered me(they laughed at that) I behaved myself. Well, I did teach Jackie how to give the finger to Kathy. I'm sure the novelty of Jackie giving her the finger will soon wear off and she'll be calling me to ream my ass. One little sweetie pulled me down and whispered something in my ear in Czech and I said I don't speak Czech and she said 'I said your awesome.'......who knew a 80+ little Czech lady knew the word awesome and in Czech.

I had so much fun, you just can't imagine. Some of them were barely able to keep their heads up and had to be fed, but most of them are spry and alert and all have great senses of humor. I walked one lady back to her room on her walker and we talked and she's smart and alert and when her walker kept pulling to the right I said 'It must be a Republican'...she laughed so hard she had to stop walking. Made my day.And they hug. Oh my all the hugs I got. So I'm hooked and now looking for more easy tasty recipes to make for them. They do it once a month but Kathy said I could do it more often if I wanted. Plus after the first of the year I'm going to go do the book cart and will take some books from home to donate as they are low on reading material.

They like to do crossword puzzles, circle words and they play cards and domino's all the time. I think they need to have a beauty parlor there. They used to have someone come in once a week or so and do their hair, but think they need to have a full little shop and someone to run it so they can get their hair done more often.

If anyone has any recipe for appetizers or snacks or any kind of meal..send them to me. I was thinking about getting those little won ton shells and filling them with re fried beans and cheese. Little mini nachos. Won tons aren't too fattening and high in carbs. Can't wait till this summer when I can do some stuff on the barbecue that they have. Make hot dogs or hamburgers. I'm looking forward to doing this and maybe be able to take some of them to the library if they would like. Should be lots of fun, and Goddess knows I need something to do and keep me out of trouble. Plus think of the posts I can do ..ha..

So send me any recipes you have and have a wonderful new year.


CorvusCorax12 said...

no recipes (sorry) but i love what you are doing and can't wait for the post :D

Nit Wit said...

I'll have to think about the recipes. I'm not sure I have any that would work.
When I was in the Old Farts Home/Rehab Center They played cards and Bingo and got together to make decorations for holidays. They had a permanent resident who used to run a beauty shop and she was all set up with all the equipment so she could make some extra money.
There were some sour grapes in the place but they were people who were only there for rehab like me. Even most of the people in that situation were cheerful and fun to be around. Of course some people met you for the first time every day.
I still miss the walker races though I lost most of the time.

Intense Guy said...

You are děsivý!

I can think about the recipes - but hey, I could send a few paperback books - I would assume they like smutty ones :)

Also, The Seattle Times has a printable Crossword puzzle as well as an interactive one - (here) ... maybe they have a computer and printer there as well as a photocopier..

Intense Guy said...

P.s., just think of what those folks would do with a digital camera... :)

yellowdoggranny said...

they need large print books and they really love the circle word puzzles..so if anyone is intersted in sending something to them you can send them to me and i'll take them up there..
they all had great attitudes..i'm going to see if there is any of them that would like to take a trip to the library..they have a van to take them.
is that awesome in czech karl? ha
they do all sorts of stuff up there nitty, but they are limited not so much on ability as patience, if it's not done in 15 minutes or so..they're bored..ha

Jan said...

I'd send a recipe, but we have already established my cooking skills.

I've been working with a group that collects games and large print books for one of the homes. I'd never thought of doing stand up comedy though.

Anonymous said...

I don't know about anyone else, but when you do shit like this Jackie, it makes me weep at the openness of your heart and I just feel so damn lucky to know you. I've said it before, but you're a good egg.

What about ham and cream cheese pinwheels? You know, you spread a soft taco or a wrap with cream cheese, throw a slice or two of ham on it and a pickled asparagus, roll it all up and slice it, pop a toothpick in to hold it together and voila!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I can well imagine, YDG, that you are the best thing to have hit West Rest Haven in YEARS. Anyone who can bring fun, laughter and something good to eat into their lives is a blessing indeed!

yellowdoggranny said...

jan:you can come down and we can do some old lewis and martin skits..or frick and frack..haha
heart:but the thing is..I get as much out of it as they did..especially when i finished topping the last pie and i sort of kicked one leg up and tossed out my hands and said 'tada'....that sounds like a great idea..i like the pin wheels idea a lot.
debra:wait till they see my second act..haha

sageweb said...

Oh little miss martha stewart! YOu have the best New year ever!

female ( I shit you not ) said...

luved it!
Happy New Year