I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Monday, December 28, 2009

A GROANER AND A 'OH MAN'....

Dear TIDE ,
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better!

About a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband. What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product. Well, I gotta go - I have to write to the Hefty bag people.

17 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

*snort*

Intense Guy said...

LMAO!

Oh, those hefty bags really can hold a lot of "stuff".

Cheesemeister said...

Must say, I wasn't expecting that! When I first started reading it I thought you'd found some cheesy letter from the 60's written to Tide by a nice Stepford wife type. ;-)

Twain12 said...

i better start using Tide LOL

jan said...

It would have been justifiable homicide anyway.

Java said...

HA! Love it

Blueberry said...

My husband spilled a large glass of red wine on the tablecloth last night. Fortunately, there was none spilled on a new white blouse (or blood either).
;-)

Nit Wit said...

That's why I do all the laundry. Well, not as much now that I have been sick. Maybe I better drop my life insurance so I'm worth more alive than dead.

Ted Amadeus said...

*LMAO!*
Now that they're coming out with a Chipmunks "squeak"-ual, perhaps they'll get around to the lines i been waiting to hear since Saturday mornings decades ago:
David: "ALVIN!!!"
"Go to Hell, Dave."
"Whadid you say!?"
"Fuck you Dave! You're a power-tripping asshole, and I'm a multi-millionaire talking, singing chipmunk whose been getting ripped off by your skimming punk ass!
So chill the fuck out or my goons'll see to it the cops are fishing your bloated carcass out of the river!"
Call that fucker "Chipmunks Grow Up."

Sling said...

Well I'm sure wherever he is,he smells springtime fresh.

MarmiteToasty said...

HAHAHAHAHA...

x

heartinhand said...

I've been a faithful Tide user my whole adult life. This story just confirms why!

John said...

I must say I get a kick out of your jokes.

Anne Johnson said...

The Internet is such a wonderful source of helpful information and useful tidbits. And now if you'll excuse me, I have to go buy some Tide.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

I can't help my self...I love these silly jokes.

texlahoma said...

Makes me glad my wife buys the cheap stuff.

Java said...

My husband laughed so hard he could hardly breathe. He does most of the laundry in our home. Should I be worried?