I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Joke?

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's' mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

12 comments:

Nit Wit said...

My time has been messed up for a few days too. I keep falling asleep around midnight and waking up early in the morning.
I'm making myself stay up tonight to get back on track.

Turkeys in all your posts tonight.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

it's 4:30 a.m. and I'm still up..going to try to get some sleep..turkeys every where.

Twain12 said...

awww, poor Bird LOL

Ted Amadeus said...

That'll larn 'em!

Kulkuri said...

I thought it would be the one about the bird that was always saying nasty stuff including let's fuck and then it gets put in with the preacher's bird that is always saying "Let us pray" and after he says "Let's fuck" she says "Thank god, this is what I've been praying for!!"

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Hahaha, YDG! Hahaha, Kulkuri! I thought it was going to be the one about the foul-mouthed parrot from the whorehouse who recognizes his owner's husband . . . "John, is that you?"

sageweb said...

hahaha..there is a youtube video of a bird that cusses his owner out..that reminded me of this..

Intense Guy said...

Maybe eating some turkey would help ya sleep?

Thanks for explaining the video I could hear :) Sounds delicious.

I remember a joke about a carpet layer putting down a carpet and when he got all done he noticed that there was a small lump in it - so he feels his pockets and can't find his cigarettes and thinks - hmm... must of dropped the pack - so he takes his hammer out and mashes out the lump.

The homeowner comes in off the patio and hands him back his cigarettes and says, "I couldn't stand that noisy parrot any more! How'd you get him to shut up?"

And my mom always says, "Iggy, tell them the parrot joke..."

texlahoma said...

That parrot knows when to change his ways.
I wonder if a golf club up side the head was Tigers freezer.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

kulkuir,debrah and intenseguy I think those are better jokes than mine..ha

jan said...

Didn't realize there were so many parrot jokes

heartinhand said...

Heehee! Good one!