I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

ASK THE GODDESS




Yes, it's that time again. Another visit from MOI. I haven't been around in a while and thought I'd stop by and see if there is anything I can do for you. besides fix global warming.


I've been very busy lately, ferrying fallen warriors to Sessrumnir. Odin and I split them up, but I get first pick, which is why I get all the cute funny ones. So if you have any questions, ask away. Just remember..no sports and no politics. I don't care..that's the Yellow Dog's area of expertise and she's so bummed out over the Cowboys all she does is sit in her recliner and cuss.


And what the hell is that furry four-legged creature that is sharing her life? All it does is eat, shit and rip up stuff. Goddess loves cats and has many blue ones, but this is more along the lines of a panther. I'll be sure that Odin takes him when it's his time. Dogs and cats may not go to Heaven, but they go to Valhalla and Sessrimni. I'll be here till Friday and then I'll post the answers to your questions..I bless you.


23 comments:

Sue St Clair said...

I'd like to ask what is Santa getting me for Christmas?!! :)

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Why is Tiger Woods such a dick?

Debra She Who Seeks said...

P.S. That's not really a sports question but in case you think it is, Goddess, you can let YDG answer it.

Intense Guy said...

Why don't dogs go to heaven (if they don't)?

Hmm.. My question for the Goddess (if I can ask two) is this:

What would Abe Lincoln say about the "war" in Afghanistan and the USA's involvement there?

Yankee Girl said...

Why does my family feel the need to constantly suck the life out of me? Why do they think it is okay to treat me badly when all I do is try to be good to them? Why can't they be happy for me and the life I created for myself instead of being mad at me because they don't have that for themselves? Why do they need to use me as their personal punching bag?

sageweb said...

Why does time seem to get away so fast?

Intense Guy said...

I'm such a goof up... and can't follow instructions - so here's a new question for me..

Is YDG really Maxine? Or is Maxine really YDG?

Wendy said...

Dearest Beloved Goddess, A Joyous Yuletide to You:

Will I make it through this 1100 mile move with 5 dogs and a husband without opiates and with all my hair intact?

jan said...

When I was a little girl it took Christmas forever to get here. Now it's here before I'm even ready for it. Tell the truth: is the whole universe speeding up?

billy pilgrim said...

if i'm really good and don't swear for a whole fucking year will god make a 4th season of deadwood?

Kold_Kadavr_flatliner said...

HEAR YE! O HEAR YE!! I’m having a BIG party on my drawbridge in Heaven after my demise. Why don't you meet me Upstairs for a beer where you can bitch at me as we play thumb wars? You just avoided hot-damn. Kick-ass!!!

soonerfan78 said...

Dear Goddess, I am confused. Ever since I was kneehigh to a fencepost I believed in Santa and the North pole. I allways got gifts on Christmas morning, and I never could figure out how that sumbitch did it.
Now, I was shopping with the old lady the other day and I saw three DIFFERENT Santa's in ONE DAY, and I also saw one nasty drunk Santa passed out in a park in a pool of piss and vomit.
Now Al Gore is saying that the polar ice cap is gonna melt...crap this sounds to me like Santa's home, workshop, elf barracks and reindeer barn are gonna be peforming a Deep Six, swimming with the Baluga whales and .....ohhhh, just think of all the thousands of little red elf corpses floating...why is all of this happening Goddess? Santa is a cool dude, he'll have to fly around forever or move... one or the two, cause his house will be FLOODED. WHY?

Signed, a concerned Sooner.

Ted Amadeus said...

DSHS, Goddess don't have to answer that one, I will: It's not that TW's a dick, he just won't keep his in his pants ("I'm a multi-millionaire, so fuck all y'all!"). Think Dubya w/ a good handicap.

My question is similar, and ocurred to me when somebody waved me to make a left turn, then gunned out infront of me when I accepted the invite: Why are there so many horse's asses in the world, but so few horses?
Just curious...

Ted Amadeus said...

Yankee Girl:
Dear-bought experience tells me, Nobody gives you shit like your family gives you shit...it's just part of Inhuman Nature.

joy said...

Hi Goddess,
Is global warming really a bad thing? The globe will still be here, it'll just be warmer.

Sling said...

How much crap should I put up with before I get to bitch-slap somebody?

texlahoma said...

Oh blessed Goddess,
I had a feeling you would show up soon.
If Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize for lying and expanding one of our wars, doesn't it stand to reason that Tiger Woods should win the Husband of the year award?

rosemary said...

How many ex bosses can you put a curse on? I know you are a Goddess, but there is some bitch in every one right? I need at least 3 curses or dolls with pins stuck in them. Thank you.

Blueberry said...

I spent 9-10 hours at a retreat put on by my company today, and was bored almost to death. How can I get that time back Goddess? Can I get a Time Lord and an alternate Universe?

rosemary said...

I've been thinking about my request....forget it, I don't give a shit about lost jobs and ensuing problems. I'm bitch enough for everyone right now season of good will or not. sometimes holidays need to be forgotten.

Ted McLaughlin said...

How many blue dogs would I have to kill to get on YDG's blogroll? (figuratively, I hope)

Nit Wit said...

The only question I can come up with is, What is a good question to ask.

Green tea said...

Any suggestions on how to make the Holidays stress free ??