I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Monday, December 07, 2009

rest in peace brian ballew

We became best friends the first day we met back in 1970 in Roswell, New Mexico. I had my first day off in about 2 weeks...So I did what I always did on my night off, I went and bar hopped. I went to Jacques bar first...yup, that's really it's name..Ran by some old fart of a guy who was Greek I think. They had a piano bar and nice clientele..and I could normally just sit at the bar have a few drinks, bullshit with my friends and have a good time. There was some drunk asshole at the bar who kept telling me how great he was in bed and he could eat pussy better than any living man. REALLY?...I mean for 30 minutes that's all he did was talk about the talent of his tongue. Nothing I said would either slow him down or shut him up ..so it was a toss up for me to either bip him off the bar stool or say 'fuck it' and just go to another bar. So I went to the Stardust where I worked and knew Eli the bartender would fix me a good drink. I had no more sat down when some guy sits down next to me and says hello. (I'm assuming he's going to be another asshole like the last guy) So instead of saying hi back I launch into this rant about how I hope he's not going to sit there and tell me how good he is at eating pussy as I had all of that shit I could tolerate and I don't care if you can breath through your fucking ears I don't wanna hear it. He just sat there in silence for a minute and then said 'then I guess a blow job is out of the question.'...and we both fell onto the bar laughing our asses off. That was my friend Brian. Oh my, the trouble we got into..all of it involving booze and the occasional pill...So one day I'm working and another friend( soup de boyfriend for the week) Tommy J. is sitting there bullshitting and Brian comes in all excited..he had scored some new right off the market speed...Hot damn..I'm like 15 minutes away from getting off so we all popped our little beauty...as it was going from my palm to my mouth my brain sent out a message..' uh that looks just like tuinal'...(a heavy duty sleeping pill) so I mentioned this to B. and he said 'oh no, this is killed shit, the guy said it would knock me out.'....I said 'of course it'll knock you out asshole it's a sleeping pill.'...he was convinced it was heavy duty speed...So we all piled into Tommy's car and off to Ruidosa we go, where I was going to hustle some cowboys out of their paycheck in pool..which is what I did on more than one occasion..The road from Roswell to Ruidosa back in the 70's was a tiny 2 lane, full of trucks and very little wiggle room on the best days..but when the driver and his 2 passengers are nodding off on sleeping pills, it's pretty damn tricky...We finally get to Ruidosa and go to the first cowboy bar with a pool table and I rack up the table and start to shoot, and I can hardly see the end of my pool stick...B and Tommy J. are both face down on the table. All it took was half a beer on top of the sleeping pill and we were done. I, who think every thing is funny started to laugh...and laugh and laugh..Finally I drag both of them out of there and back to the car..We're in absolutely in no shape to be driving but fuckit..we're young stupid and don't know any better..We made it about 20 miles when we were forced to pull over to the side of the road...no room, just a mere 2 feet from the road..and passed out..We would be woke up every now and then by the car being shook by the trucks whizzing by and I'd start laughing again...B and Tommy both threatened to kick my ass if I didn't quit laughing...I'd wake up every now and then and say "I told you they were tuninals, laugh and go back to sleep.
I was still good buddies with B when I met Asshole #3 and Jack was so jealous of B. I tried to explain to him that we were just friends, there was no sex, he was like my retarded older brother. Jack didn't buy it..he was one of those guys that didn't think men and women could be 'just friends'.. Plus B. knew Jack's reputation and was worried for me( should have listened to him) and kept warning me off of him..but who am I to listen.
B. had a bit of a drinking problem..at the time I didn't..I had 2 boys to raise and trying to get my health back from my recreational drug habit I had kicked. So every once in a while B.'s wife L. would toss his ass into drug rehab ...I swear it was called Happy Valley. B was not only addicted to alcohol he was addicted to nose spray, which caused me a great amount of amusement..oh my Goddess, I thought that was hysterical, so I would go visit him and sneak him in nose spray. There were a bunch of old drunk vets in there and they really looked forward to my visits.I had quit smoking and was chewing on cigars and the see through blouses were big about then so I'd show up with my pool stick, cigar, stack of Playboy and Hustler magazines and see through blouse on and oh my...I was so popular. One of the nurses complained about me and the Dr said leave her alone, she's better for these old drunks than any therapy we could give them.
I have always made jokes about only needing 6 good friends...just enough to carry my ass to the cemetery, well Brian was the third one of the original six. So I might have to start sucking up to people so the last three don't bust their ass hauling mine to the grave.
I had just talked to B about a week ago...so when the phone rang this morning at 6 I just felt it in my bones that it was going to be bad news. I said hello and Lila said it's me..Lila...and I said I don't want to hear this and we both started to cry. He was my friend and I loved him...and I'll miss him...you all would have liked him too.


Nit Wit said...

I remember you talking about him before.
I'm sorry you lost him. It's never easy. As one of your replacement pall barriers I feel I've lost a friend I hadn't met yet.
Not that I want to carry out that duty anytime soon.
Keep remembering the great times and give him a big send off.

Willym said...

I am always at a loss for things to say when reading about loss - so I'll just leave it at: thinking of you and a few words for Brian. Bet he's raising hell right now, where ever he is!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Sorry to hear about the loss of your friend Brian, YDG. Sounds like you and he had 40 good years of major hell-raising together! It's like they say: a true friend doesn't come down in the middle of the night to bail you out of jail. He's sitting there right beside you in the cell!

Rainwolf said...

Nothing good comes of early morning phone calls.
He sounds like a hoot, sorry for your loss.

sageweb said...

Sorry for your loss...sounds like you had lots of good times with each other. I love the story.

Peggy said...

So sorry for your loss. Take care.

Anonymous said...

Pease accept my sincere condolences for the loss of your friend. Sounds like you had some really great times. I know you will miss him.

Blueberry said...

Really sorry for the loss of your friend and thank you for sharing the story. My mother and her sister's family moved to Roswell in the early 70s. You might have ended up in the same bar with them at some point.

Sling said...

'Then I guess a blow job is out of the question'..Oh yes..Brian and I would have been great friends.
Sorry to hear of his passing hon.

Intense Guy said...


Sorry to hear of your loss - sounds like it would have been our loss if we had known him.

Big Pissy said...

I'm sorry for your loss, Jackie Sue.

But man, do you have some great memories. :)


yellowdoggranny said...

I'm going to do another post on brian..i forgot the greatest story of all..my divorce from asshole #2....oh you will love it..

yellowdoggranny said...

where you can go to see his obit.