Wherever you live in our Land of the Free, you can count your lucky stars for Texas. That's because year-in and year-out, the Lone Star State sets the national standard for all-star political wackiness, so no matter how embarrassingly goofy your state politicos are, at least you can count on them being slightly more sane than the Texas bunch.
Our goober of a governor sets the pace. A teabag regular, he rants constantly about the intrusions of Obama's big bad federal government into Texas affairs. But – Shhh – he quietly took $14 billion from Obama's devilish stimulus program in order to claim that he had "balanced" our state budget.
And no doubt you've heard about our right-wing state board of education, which is nuttier than a pecan grove. They tried to rewrite our schools' history books by such moves as deleting Thomas Jefferson from a list of influential thinkers of the Enlightenment period, then these nuts decided that even the word "enlightenment" should be banned. So our new state slogan is, "Texas: Ignorance Is US!"
Joining this circus are state officials who recently decreed that citizens can no longer freely enter our state capitol, but instead must go through metal detectors and have their belongings searched. However, the officials did provide one exception: If you're carrying a handgun, you can scoot right in through an express lane! Texas allows people to get a concealed handgun license and pack heat wherever they go, so there's now an express entry into the Capitol specifically designated for "CHL Holders."
Adding to this goofiness are hundreds of lobbyists who're getting CHL clearances in order to use the express lanes. So now our legislative halls will be teeming with pistol-packing lobbyists calling out legislators to say, "Support my client's bill... or else."
Our goober of a governor sets the pace. A teabag regular, he rants constantly about the intrusions of Obama's big bad federal government into Texas affairs. But – Shhh – he quietly took $14 billion from Obama's devilish stimulus program in order to claim that he had "balanced" our state budget.
And no doubt you've heard about our right-wing state board of education, which is nuttier than a pecan grove. They tried to rewrite our schools' history books by such moves as deleting Thomas Jefferson from a list of influential thinkers of the Enlightenment period, then these nuts decided that even the word "enlightenment" should be banned. So our new state slogan is, "Texas: Ignorance Is US!"
Joining this circus are state officials who recently decreed that citizens can no longer freely enter our state capitol, but instead must go through metal detectors and have their belongings searched. However, the officials did provide one exception: If you're carrying a handgun, you can scoot right in through an express lane! Texas allows people to get a concealed handgun license and pack heat wherever they go, so there's now an express entry into the Capitol specifically designated for "CHL Holders."
Adding to this goofiness are hundreds of lobbyists who're getting CHL clearances in order to use the express lanes. So now our legislative halls will be teeming with pistol-packing lobbyists calling out legislators to say, "Support my client's bill... or else."
a wonderful article by one of my heros..Jim Hightower. I fecking love this guy.
10 comments:
Insanity!
Is Rep. Barton from Texas?
Uh huh... I thought so......
I don't know what a CHL is but if they're like the 2 or more per car bypass the traffic lanes, it should be legal for a citizen to toss out a stop strip when an elected official is using one!
Texas has a balanced budget? Can California borrow some money?
Google is out to drive me crazy. Sometimes it knows who I am and sometimes it won't let me comment. It happens on a couple of other blogs too.
yes and yes.
charlene CHL is concealed handgun law.
jan..that's so it will look like we have a balanced budget..we're so poor we can't even pay attention.
wolfs must be having a good night.i see their customers are parking over at the hardware store.
mynars across the stree has one truck...
I think your just trying not to shock people. You have only mentioned the mild craziness that is Texas.
You mostly just mention normal stuff like the snake shows and BBQ judging and then of course the gay rodeo.
I can't wait til Fair Hair Perry tries to form his own country.
Texas is a great mix of everything American, but every time I think I could almost get down wit da teabaggers, they trot out some Johnny-Reb funny-mental-ist thumping his Papist missal & raving about "Uh-MURRAH-kuh'z a Criyischin nay-shun based onna Judaeo-Christian ethic!!!", more hayseeds cheer him on, and I do a common-sense jump-back - Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups, or large groups of fringe ones for that matter!
nitty:he declares texas a country again, then there will be a palace revolt for sure
ted;believe me..i never underestimate the power of stupid people..they've been running texas into the ground for about 12 years.
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