My 16 year old granddaughter Jamie came over and helped me put out everything for the garage sale..thought I was going to die from the heat...and right in the middle of it a Texas cold front came whippping thru...wind, dark clouds the smell of rain...lasted maybe 45 minutes and then that was it...our cold front...never did rain...
the stupid dogs got out of the yard again and were gone for 1 1/2 days...came dragging their asses home this afternoon...stupid fucking dogs...
I am going to my girlfriends house as she has a scanner and Iam going to put some pictures in my blog..want everyone to see my 2 grandaughters...jenny and jamie both have their grandma''s boobs, except their's dont come to their knees..I look at them and think damn..they are soo pretty..smart..and funny..what more could you ask for...although jenny's dad and I did make jokes about her when she graduated..that we were expecting her to do the perp walk before she did the graduation walk...but she turned herself around and is doing sooo good..works and goes to school...jamie is still looking for a summer job..but hard to get one in small town when your 16... plus she is a tad like her grandma and wont hesitate to tell someone to get fucked if the mood calls for it..My son said it all started when i taught them to spit when they were toddlers..they once asked me why they did not have a grandpa and i said granma didnt like grandpa's all the did was scratch their ass, spit and smoke cigerettes... and did they want some old man around like that...? they agreed that would be no fun...nicole was about 6 and said "who wants a stinky old butt scratching man around..probably dont shave either."..smart girls..well, folks....going to read some blogs, go home take off all my clothes and sit in front of the a/c...see you either sat evening...or sunday....happy 4th of july...ya'll
This will probably be my last blog til maybe sunday and then wont hear from me til tuesday... Garage sale is tomorrow and my son, imacuntthedaughterinlaw and the granddaughters are supposed to go to Houston for the 4th..one of my republican right wing baptist cousins is having his annual 4th of july party...this will be my first...i try not to be around them anymore than i have to as they are always grouping up and praying for me...You dont know how hard it is to have a good time, laughing, making fun of forest gump, bitching about the asshole right wing surpreme court, the war in iraq which had nothing to do with 0-11 and then look up and see most of the people there holding hands in a cirle saying "please lord, save our sinning cousin jackiesue from damnation and the hot flames of hell..."...fucking party poopers..
PRESERVE ME FROM THE ENEMY WHO HAS SOMETHING TO GAIN, AND FROM THE FRIEND WHO HAS NOTHING TO LOSE...
plus you have to read dean koontz new book. called "velocity"...man is it ever good......good..goodd...about a guy who is mr joe normal and then he finds a note on his windshield that says if you dont take this note to the police i will kill a lovely female school teacher and if you do go to the police i will kill an old lady that does charity work...and the book is on...man is it good, it just keeps getting better and better...freaking me out...well, have a happy 4th of july cause im out of here for a few days...
I will be so glad when I get thru with this flapping garage sale...jenny my 16 year old granddaughter came over and we got alot done, but so damn hot I let her off so she could go to the lake with her friends..I cant believe the crap I have..2 sets of golf clubs(I dont play golf, my tits get in the way), a saddle, blanket and riata(dont ride a horse, my ass is too big) and all kinds of other stuff..my stuff will soon be someone''s shit..my aussie friend Ross has been reading my blogs and thinks Im pretty funny. He still cant believe I havent had sex in 20 years...now, why would even a great story teller tell a lie about that...most people lie and say they get it all the time...I admit, I used to get more ass than a toilet seat..but dem days is long gone..no one wants a long tittied old broad...my bra sizes are not just by the cup size anymore..they are like mens suits...I wear a 44 long...wanna shoot me in the chest..aim for the knee caps..Henerietta the librarian is pissing me off. no one checks out more books than I do..she got about 7 new books and cataloged them and gave me one...I can read those 7 books faster than 7 people can read one..fuck...im a book hog, that is all there is to it..well, until I get the garage sale done, I wont be charging off to Crawford to kick forest's ass. but when I do go, my blogger posse is going with me..so be prepared..we are going to sneak off to the ranch(there are no fucking livestock..it should not be called a ranch...compound maybe..but not a ranch.)and do some damage to ole forest's ass...cut down all his trees maybe...drain his tank...flatten all his bike's tires...I'll think of something..all while using the 100 best movie quotes..still have a bunch left....ya'll come back and see me ya'hea
"oh fuck, where's my cat? What have you done with my cat..??? You sonsabitches, where is my cat?" "You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle." said Dick..."Look you old fart, you better get my cat or I will rip your nuts off and feed them to you". "Ok, ok, dont get your panties in a wad, we took him to the war room."..."you are fucking evil, you know that?and who are those two guys fighting over Rocky? "Cheney with a sneer says "Gentlemen.Yoy can't fight in here.This is the war room."..."Man, you guys are just fucked up, you know that?"....Well, noboby''s perfect."...
Jackiesue grabbed up Rocky who was spitting out human skin and ran for the door..-Chaney yelled at her from the doorway"Can I borrow your underpants for ten minutes?" "You are one sick bastard" screamed Jackisue."MMMMM-HMMMM! This is a tasty burger"..
"Come on Rocky, lets head on back to Texas.."
to be continued...
jjackiesue D_______ passed away yesterday evening while watching the Presidents speech about Iraq. "As well as we can figure she just went up in flames." said Leon Gerik, local volunteer firefighter."I think they call it spontaneous combustion, but I'd never seen anything like it before. "Mrs. Eloise Stroder was questioned by the police as she had called them to complain about the noise, cursing and furniture being tossed out of the house by Ms. D_______. "I have heard her yelling and screaming at the tv before when the President was on, but nothing like tonight, she just went crazy. The last thing I heard her say was "the Iraqis had nothing to do with 9-11 you ignorant, noaccount motherfucker."..man, she was just so mad at him.."Other neighbors when questioned said they saw her standing in the door way tossing out furniture and then she threw out the tv..."Then the next thing we saw was her bursting into flames", said Mrs. Stroder as she wiped away a tear..."it was just awful, poor Jackie, who is going to take care of her dogs and cat?" When her son arrived he said he wasn't surprised. that she had gotten a lot worse about the President every since he got reelected. said he wasn't President, he was a fucking thief. Visibly shaken her son wept, she always wanted to be cremated, guess she saved us about $1,000. She wanted her ashes to be scattered on a patch of blue bonnets...so we will keep what's left of her in a KFC box until spring and then we will obey her last wish.."On being notified by her family, her blog friends were all saddened to hear of her death.."Well, at least she went out in a blaze of glory, too bad she couldn't have taken Forest with her", said her blogger friend Soonerfan78...At her family's request, in lieu of flowers please make donations to the election of Kinky Friedman for governor of Texas....
or just things that twist my mind and my drawers..
there was article in dallas morning news..about high-tech pajamas for women with hot flashes and the dreaded night sweats...a moisture managment product...well fuck me... next there will be thermal underwear for men who suffer from blue balls...ok, that's one...
now how many of you have seen the commerical for aol. where the woman comes in with a apple crunch cake to thank them for putting in the spy wear with her aol..???? now if this was real life, she would have had to get on the plane and fly to India to give them the cake as there are no tech''s in the us...they are all in India or some other country. I know as I have had many talks with the aol tech''s and not one of them speak english as a first language..I got so pissed off one night after getting one Indian after another Indian trying to explain my problem to me...finally went redneck and said if I was going to be forced to talk to an Indian could I at least talk to an American Indian, like a Hopi, or Navajo or Apache..least I would be able to understand them...that's two.
today along with my water bill I received the 2004 annual drinking water quality report...for the city of west...the average contaminant of arsenic is 0.400, this is from erosion of natural deposits, runnoff from orchards, runnoff from glass and electonics production wastes...there is also below the limits of barium, chronium, fluoride, nitrate, combined radium, gross beta emitters, and gross alpha.these are inorganic contaminants...
organic contaminants are atrazine, and xylenes.
disinfection byproducts are total haloacetic acids, and total trihalomethanes...
plus secondary and other not regulated constituents...aluminum, bircarbonate, calcium, chloride, copper, iron, lead, magnesium, manganese, nickel, ph, sodium yadayada....yadayada..
in other words with all this "stuff" in the water ...it's fit to drink...ha...and people want to know why I drink so much damn Dublin Dr. Pepper...
that's three..
Tonight Forest Gump is going to talk to us about the war in Iraq...well, fuck me til I cant walk with out a hitch in my getalong..I got my email from movingon.org. and they have a list of papers you can write to..a fast way to write to President Gump as if that will help any...spending has gone up 33% since forest took office...highest since any president..I wonder just how close to crawford I can really get...that's four..
Texas won the baseball series..Baylor didnt..fuck..plus we got scanctioned by the commissioner for being bad two years ago..cant play in any bowl games for one or two years...could have been worse..but the Baptist are smart..they did the mea culpa, begged for forgivness, said "we be sorry" and kissed alot of ass..sooo like I said, it could have been worse..that''s five
well, I now have to take time out from all this fun to write an article for the west news about our library. no one uses it ...we need patrons and Im going to raise some hell..see if I cant get the memebership up..or one day I will drive up and there will be pad locks on the door and let me tell you..that will not be good for some one..cause me with out my library..is not a good thing..I promise you...some asskicking will commence...ya'll come back..ya'hea...
Well, I finally put ad in local paper for the garage sale...I have done eveything possible to stall and make excuses to keep from doing it..but so sick and tired of the "room of shit"...in this room are tables, chairs, saddles, 2 sets of golf clubs, tools, a small trampoline, books, picture frames( a box full)books, carpet shampooer, wet/dry vac, old record player, records, books, dish wear, glasses, knick nacks, clothes, small and large tile..boxes full,more fucking books,curtains, sheets, and so much more stuff I have forgotten. Havent been able to get in this room for 6 months...and I am almost possitive that Rocky has shit in there some place and I cant get to it..I may just sit the fucker on fire...not Rocky, the room full of shit..
weird stuff is going on in my little town of mayberry...two saturdays in a row someone has let the dogs out...and they have made an all day trip out of it and dont come home till 10pm or so...cant imagine what kind of trouble they were getting into...so far no cops.. and then yesterday I went to go to the library and the truck is deader than my last husband..the lights had been left on...but here is the kicker...I almost never drive at night...last time I had driven the truck was sat. afternoon.. no lights... so either when I was getting out of the truck I hit the switch and turned the lights on, (tried and it is pretty hard to do) or some kids think it would be funny ....summer time and nothing for them to do...and Henrietta said there had been lots of calls to police because kids were pulling stunts all over town. knocking over mail boxes out in the country, stealing gas, some breaking and entering ...usual summer pranks..but they had better know if I catch them I will drop kick them Jesus, thru the goal posts of life..
rented 5 movies again for a week...sometimes that is too much pressure on me to watch all those movies in a week..every night is ...gotta watch a movie, only have 4 more days to watch these movies...fuck..takes all the joy out of it...only one good movie out of it..Man on Fire with denzel washington...now that was a good movie..like revenge movies. kicking ass movies..which brings me to the summer movie I would love to see ...war of the worlds..but that stupid fucking tom cruise has made it almost impossible to go and see it now...every time I see his face I will be wanting the aliens to eat his ass..or at least kick it..little fucker..what a nut job..
I am down to counting the days now...til.....football season...I might as well warn you all now...I totally become bi-polar during football season..as I live and die with the cowboys...if they win I am manic and smile like a jackass eating cactus..if they lose I am so despondent that I twist between homicide and suicide..but know someone has to die...preferably a eagles fan..I hate the eagles..I hate the eagles fans...I pray to the Goddess daily during football season to smite them fuckers...and smite them good..
well, guess I should go start getting ready for the garage sale...fuck...
By now Rocky is so pissed at not being allowed to see Forest Gump he is starting to implode..."You sonsabitches, we wanna see the president hisownself..now"..Cheney, calm as a summer breeze says,"nope, no way. You cant see the president"...Rocky screams at the top of his little lungs:"If you dont get the president of the United States on that phone, do you know what's goonna happen to you?...You're gonna have to answer to to the coca-cola company."Cheney laughs like the crazy man he is and then whispers:"of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine"then as his eyes glisten and slobber runs down his chin he says"I'd like to take a bite of you. You're a cookie full of arsenic."By this time Jackiesue was tired of being jerked around and said menancingly.."Go ahead, make my day.".and before I really lose my temper and tap dance on your forehead and cotton eyed joe on your rib cage...where the fuck is Forest motherfucking Gump?"...Cheney laughs..."Why Jackiesue....dont you know? The president is down in Crawford, you could have just driven down the road and had your little visit, not that anyone will let you within 100 yards of him,as your on every watch list there is...Only reason you got in here is because we knew the ole boy was home in Texas." "Judas fucking priest....quit telling the world he is a texan..the sonofabitch was born in conn. and is no more a Texan, a cowboy or even a good ole boy than Martha Stewart is a gentlile ole lady. Well, fuck, now we have to go back to Texas and see if we can find him, come on Rocky, its time to go home."But Rocky is no where to be found.....
to be continued
Rocky has turned into psycho cat.. He has doubled in size and is showing his fangs..both of them..he lost the other two in a dog fight..he swivels his head around sniffing the air..."ah, my precious"...Jackiesue laughs hysterically and says, "no dipshit, its not Condi Rice, or we would have heard long nails clicking on the floor and the sound of scales .... and look Rocky...its the most powerful man in the country...Dick cheney..and he doesnt look too happy to see us."Rocky is so pissed his eyes are bugging out of his head..We dont need to see this asshole, we want Forest Gump."Cheney says with a smirk..."the president doesnt want to see you and you have to leave..
im getting ran out of library so will cont. tomorrow..
Rocky had been riding quietly in Jackiesue's arms from Texas to the White house, but now he said "Mein fuhrer, I can walk"..."ok, ok,...take it easy...just be on the watch for those two furry dogs of Forest Gump''s and he has a cat too..".."Dogs and cats living together!Mass hysteria.!"..."Look, just keep an eye out for the animals and the secret service, cause if they find you here remember."you owe me money"..and "I stick my neck out for nobody"..."Ha, ha Jackiesue, your sooooo funny."..."what do you mean, I'm funny?..You mean the way I talk? What?...Funny how? I mean, what''s funny about it? But I''m funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm hre to fuckin'' amuse you? What do you mean, funny? Funny how? How''m I funny?..How the fuck am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me? Tell me what's funny!.."and Rocky replied "you talkin'to me?"..."Enough, enough...that's a fucking enough..., lets just find the doofus, kick his ass and get the fuck out of dodge"...
So the dynamic duo started down the long hall way of the biggest little whore house in Washington, DC..
"you know the only thing I really want out of this little trip is the truth..the truth about why we are in a war with a country that had nothing to do with 9-11, the truth about why the tax cut only was profitable for the top 1%of the country.The truth about why we are in a war with a country that did us no harm until we invaded them and the price of oil is still higher than a cats back, no offense Rocky. The truth about how his program of no child left behind has left all the kids behind.The truth about all the x-lobbiest that are now working either for the republican party or for him personaly...I just want the truth Rocky ..is that too much for me to ask?Can you answer me that?" "you want answers?" Rocky screamed..."I want the truth", Jackiesue screamed back."You can't handle the truth!"...screamed Rocky, so loud that they were overheard...breathing heavily they both listen as foot steps could be heard ..getting closer and closer....
to be continued..
I will finish the invasion of the white house by me and rocky..but have to get some sleep first..jamie my 16 year old granddaughter was taking care of her sister jennifer''s new little pit bull puppy and I got stuck babysitting it...his name is kilo but I called him spike as in what I would like to drive thru his little shitting every 4 minutes heart...Dont get me wrong...I love dogs and Im crazy about this little puppy...but I have house trained the last dog ever...I dont get much sleep as it is, but waking up every 3 hours to take the puppy out is a pain in the ass. because its just not taking the dog out and him going and coming back in..its the other two dogs getting up and going out too and then all three of them deciding to play, chase crickets, fetch the golf balls that are scattered all over the yard...and just fuck around...by the time I get eveyone back in bed and asleep, its time to take the little fucker out again...plus I had to keep a close watch on the 2 older dogs as they werent all that impressed with his cuteness and tried to eat him twice... they did not think it was cute at all when he jumped on their tail and started chewing it ..or chewing on ppp''s ears...trooper would actually run from him and looked at me like "please, get him off of me"..so when Jamie came over today I shoved the pup in her arms and said "see ya later gater"...feel bad cause I volunteered...just didnt know that the dogs would try and make dinner out of him...
I went to american film institute web site and down loaded all 100 of the most favorite movie quotes..so will start on the rest of the story... have lots of great ideas, but have this thought that the feds are probably reading this shit and the idea of me making jokes about storming the white house and kicking forest gumps ass, might get me arrested and tossed in jail....but...its just too good not to try...so after I do write it and no one hears from me in say 5-10 years...lets hope at least I get a nice federal pen to spend it in....
thought jackie as she packed up her trusted and faithful companion Rocky and headed out to Washington,DC to confront King George face to face and in person...She knew that only she could save the country from the man who was giving cowboys a bad name...she knew it wasen't going to be easy but like she had always said,"i love the smell of naplm in the morning" and off they went..As she was bording the plane Jackie wispered to Rocky, "fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night."
With Rocky tucked under her arm she departed the plane in DC and finding a cab went directly to the White House where she knew she would find (ack, gag, choak) the president...King George his ownself..Standing in front of the guard house Jackie confronted the Marine Guard and said, let me in ...I need to see the President. What makes you think you can just get in to see the president Jackie?..She replied, "I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse."..well, come on in then...and he ushered her right to the white house doors...as he walked away Jackie heard him say "May the force be with you."
"Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."
Jackie looked around and all she could think of was...this is "the stuff that dreams are made of" and went in search for ole George...
to be continued...
i dont know what the deal is but didnt go to sleep last night...at all..finally about 12:30 I was reading a book and fell asleep and my head went down on my book and my glasses read pressed up against the book and now I have the imprint of my glasses on my face..red marks on nose ...reminds me of when i used to drink and I would buy that last six pack to take home and would sit on the floor by the coffee table and watch tv and drink those last beers.would wake up 3 hours later with ring imprints on my face from passing out on the six pack...
I have always had trouble sleeping, but seems like it is getting worse...I usually get 4-5 hours sleep and then stay up for a day and a half...or two..sucks..my daughter called the last time from san fran last night and was 12:30am and she said are you asleep? I said, are you kidding..??? she was telling her friends about how much I read and by working at the library I had checked my account and since I have moved back to west I have read over 6,000 books..in 10 years...that doesnt count books I get from friends, garage sales or gifts from family...I have read more books than anyone in west...seems like I should be one hell of a lot smarter...She said all of her friends were impressed with all the books I read...and not one romance novel in the bunch...not that I am against romance novels...It is just not something I enjoy...I refer to them as heaving bosoms...well, as we say in texas....I'm fixing to go to the library...read all the books I had checked out plus had about 5 more that I had got at garage sale..going to donate them to the library...ya'll come back ya'hea
Ok, this is what I think...I have read on several blogs where spouses are upset about what is being blogged, or like me...I know my son or daughter in law is going to read the blog where I call her names and be in deep shit for ever..so here's the deal and tell me what you think...this place this only blog the Goddess blog is where you can come and unload...say fuck till your brain explodes, talk about your husband, wife, kids in laws.. boyfriends, girlfriends, etc... this way no one can read your own blog and see what you have said..this is the safe blog...the place where you can come and unblog yourself...what do you think...???? just leave a comment of your flustrations and let 'er rip....
I watched the Baylor game yesterday and we won in 10 innings...so one down and 3 to go...we play again at 6pm..will watch..so far Iam not a jinx for the mens baseball team like I was for the girls basketball team...
Stupid dogs got out of the yard again yesterday and were gone until almost 10 pm...little bastards..they snuck in the yard and actually tried to pretend they had been there all along...I came out on the porch and they were like.."hi, were you been, where''s dinner, is this water fresh, where''s the cat...what time is it.." little fuckers.
My daughter called me yesterday a couple of times..first to remind me that it was her one year anniversary...she has been sober for one year..she got her little slug or what ever that thing is they give you when you ..chip..that''s what it is..she got her one year chip...I am so proud of her...and she does all the meetings, goes to her couselor, therapist, etc... just working the program..she sounds so happy...she has been there 3 years now and almost one year in san francisco...sure do miss her...but think texas is bad for her...want to go visit her soon...miss my baby...
still act like there is a bird in the house when the phone rings...look all around...like...what is that noise..and the dogs are standing in front of the receiver going "answer the fucking phone dipshit"...
I have put off garage sale for another week...just too flapping hot..by the time I mow the two yards I wont feel like hauling the crap out...beginning to think in stead of having a yard sale might have a house fire..
Im going to answer part of that little quiz that was going around a few weeks ago...so here tis..
my full name is Jacque Sue Therese Roycroft Brown, Clark, Brown, Denney...I was born Novemeber 12, 1943...on a friday and the mooon was full..I was judas priest I hate to say this...Blytheville, Arkansas..but left when I was 6 days old..only reason why I wasent born in Mesquite, Texas like I was supposed to is because my mother felt the need to piss my father off for some reason, as he had wanted me to be born in Texas..so my aunts and grandmother made an end run from Mesquite to come get me and get me back to Texas before some of that arkie shit rubbed off on me...and the tag to that story is when I filed for my social security I had to have my birth cirtificate and coundly find it so sent off to ark. for one and they said...hmmm...cant find you...doesnt seem like we have a record of your being born in ark...so took me extra long time to get my ss because there is no record of my birth in ark..and they say dont mess with Texas...huh...
I now reside in ..if you dont know by now...you never will...Texas
i have green eyes with flecks of yellow...my hair was blond for years and now is turd murkle brown with some gray...I am 5'' 3 1/2" tall and what I weigh is nunyafuckingbusiness..
I am right handed, but I hit a baseball left handed and golf left handed and fish left handed...dont ask me I dont have a clue.
My mother was half french/half german my daddy is irish/english and some indian tossed in...I am wearing my blue converse high tops and my weakness is I pretend not to be weak...dont tell
my fears are someone will find out Im weak...yeah right..
the perfect pizza would be one that I made myself with everything but pineapple and anchovies.. and double cheese
my goals for this year are to live to see the end of it...
my most overused im phrase is...Howdy..
The first thing I think of when i wake up is...fuck...I have to pee
I go to bed around 5am and get up around 10am..or I dont go to sleep at all, like today...havent been to sleep yet and its 8am.fuck..I have to pee
I dont understand the most missed memory...if its a memory and you missed it...how do you know what it is...???? I miss my daddy
Pepsi/coke...gotta be kidding...dublin drpepper
Mcdonald or Burget King?...Im in Texas ya''ll...it''s whataburger....all the way.no mayo
and as for single or dating...I would rather have open heart surgery with a rusty saw
Lipton or nestea???suntea...
chocolate or vanilla..i like both but like rocky road the best
cappuccino or coffee? tea....
I dont smoke and I dont drink..been there done that and have tshirt to prove it
fucking right I swear..only vice I have left..dont do it so just talk about it
I sing along with the radio but I sing really really bad...only song i do justice to is janis joplin''s "oh lord, wont you buy me a mercedes benz....my friends all drive porches I must make amends.....worked...you get it..
I shower nearly every night before I go to bed, shampoo and condition...
I have been in love ....maybe once...but think now that I look back on it ....was lust...
I went to one semester of college
never marry again...
do I belive in myself...???hummmI belive I will live thru the day....
I never get motion sickness ever
and no I dont think im attractive..kinda cute for a fat broad....
I am not a health freak...nuuh
I got along with my daddy, but mother and I were...not close...
I love thunderstorms...a lot...love the sounds, the winds, the smells....
cant play any instrument at all
and in the past month I havent drank, smoked, dated, had sex gone to a movie eaten a box of oreos eaten sushi been on stage been dumped or gone skinny dipping..but I have done all of them in my wicked evil past...and stole a sweater when i was 14 just to impress my girlfriends...
I have never been called a tease and got beat up when i was 8 years old by a kid that was 11 and my 2 cousins found him and beat the crap out of him for me...and how do I want to die??? well, gee ..I dont really..but I do know when I do go...I will be yelling and screaming and fighting every fucking step of the way...and if you do come to my funeral and look in the coffin and see me laying there...know one thing and know it for sure....boy am i pissed..
I met David at the local watering hole here in west about 27-30 years ago...for some reason we hit it right off...just 2 sick twisted souls that liked to drink, do drugs and have a good time while doing so...We didnt become best friends right away..just buds...as for a very very short while we were fucking friends..but that was scarry and we, without every mentioning it, just knew that wasent going to work...so we just were friends... and over the years we were in and out of each others life...My daughter was insanely jealous of him as she didnt want mama to have a fella..and my dog Bill who loved eveyone and eveyone loved him..couldnt stand David..think it was because eveyone always made over him and would take him places, bring him toys, etc..and david would call him Henry, or Ted or George...and would piss Bill off..and he would do his elvis impression when he saw David...he would curl up his lip and snarl at him...cracked both of us up...Well, Bill died but David is still around...then when I moved back to West about 10 years ago and he was living back here too, we just hooked up again. I saw him thru his devorice with his wife, he saw me thru the problems with my daughter..When I lost my van he let me use his truck and when he bought a new car he just let me have it...how about that for a friend...He came to the house and babysat my pit bull dog Nate when I was in the hospital...I came to his folks house and took care of his mom when his dad had to go to drs. or to town and grocery shop...He would bring his girls for me to help dress for dances, fix costumes for holloween. I picked them up in morning and afterschool for school. My one granddaughter jamie got mad at David''s daughter Sara because she would call me grandma...At one time he even dated the granddaughters mother and that was good for some laughs...If I needed anthing I knew that I could ask David...if I wanted to confess something, I knew he would not judge me. He made fun of me and laughed at me when I did stupid silly things, but he never has judged me...In allthese years we have been friends we have never had an argument...one one. He is reading over my shoulder so now I have to say something funny about him...Nah, can''t...he''s just my best friend...ok, he''s gone now...he read it and said he needed all the good pr he could get...He is 53, single, great father to two lovely daughters Jessica and Sara, a good son, a constant brother..and my best friend....
the haps are happening so fast here...another death...a few months ago one of the inlaws cousins died who was another sweet and dear man...bad heart.. was a huge man...just found out from my best friend david that the wife just passed away... she had been ill for over 25-30 years and he had been her caretaker...i think she just gave it up too..so having the viewing tomorrow...i hate those kind of things...still getting ove doris''s and now another one..never could go to nick''s..just to sad to see that sweet 17 year old in a coffin...i plan on having a viewing when i die..but i dont want to be in the coffin..i want them to haul my ass down to the old bar i used to hang out in and put me on the bar stool that i alway sat on with the sign they used to hang on the back of it "reserved for the old broad"..put on the stool and put a lone star beer can in my hand and let me enjoy the party..i am going to spend about a week down loading a cd of my favorite songs with the last song being...walk thru this world with me by george jones...wonder if my family will go for it..and the health dept...
Oh man, do i love being right or what...about 3 weeks ago my granddaughter jenny and i were discussing music and she said something about the song stairway to heaven and mentioned a band (not led zephlin) that put it out...I said no it was l.z. and she said no it was who ever...we argued in fun back and forth and told her on this one granny was right..but she is 18 and cant imagine her granny being right about music...(cant belive that i rocked with the best of them..and just because all i listen to now is the oldies station doesnt mean i dont know rock and roll..) and left the house all superior..i know that it would not have taken much to prove it to her but no big deal..until in todays paper there was an article about lz''s robert plant commenting on the fact that he hates the song stairway to heaven as he has played it so much over the years...going to have it framed and give it to her...along with a nana nana boo boo, stick your head in doo doo...teach her to mess with the granny..
the college world series is going on and baylor is in it..we have kicked texas u. every game this year and in first game of series they beat us 5-1..fuckers..so all we have to do now is win 4 games in 4 days and we win it all..we have won both mens and womens'' singles and doubles in tennis, womens basketball, womens baseball, softball and some other stuff, tack field etc..so now we need to men to start pulling their weight...our men''s basketball team is in disarray from 2 years or so ago when one of the players shot and killed another player and the coach got fired for all kinds of illegal shit..our football team isnt as good as it should be...but for a bunch of bible thumping baptist... they do ok...the goddess must be keeping an eye out for them....heehee
He was the oldest of 7 born on a tiny farm in Mesquite texas...he took being the eldest very seriously and being a son very seriously...He was in the military for 30 years and in civil service for 20...I used to tease him all the time cause he was just this sweet, kind gentle loving man who had me for his only child...told him if you believed in reincarnation..he had to be paying some bad deed off by getting me as his only kid...but he never saw it that way...he was the kind of man that stood up when women came to the table or left the table, he held your chair when you sat down..he never smoked a day in his life, but lit all his wives cigerettes by putting it in his mouth and lighting it for them..he didnt think that looked lady like for them to light it themselves.. he was a good man...I never heard anyone ever say anything bad about him...he was good to all his neices and nephews, tryed to keep peace between his warring brothers and sisters...and had the most wonderful dry sense of humor...example...once when he was married to my mother, a very difficult woman, she woke him up in the middle of the night and said "Bill, i just woke up with a jerk...."..and Daddy said, "Well, kick the son of a bitch out of bed and go back to sleep"...
when I was a kid I was such a tom boy and was always getting my ass into trouble..but when your a service brat you had to be careful cause eveything you did reflected on him and he could lose rank over my activities..so I kept my trouble making to small stuff...and of course being a kid if I got caught I would lie like a persian rug...so Daddy had a solution for that little problem...he would make me stand right in front of him and would say "Jackiesue...look me right in the eyes and tell me the truth."...well, hell, I could no more look him in the eye and lie then I could fly...which maybe why I am such a poor liar today and only do it if I am trying to keep from going to jail.....My Daddy died in 1982...6 months after he retired from civil service...but..Iam still Daddy''s Little Darling....and always will be...
Oh, man oh man...I love it when I have things to piss and moan about....whooo happy day...In my lovely Dallas am news today, acticle on perks of the job...refering to ole forest and the gifts he receives ....listen to this shit...
FOR THE RANCH:Chain saws and cutter $787
brush cleaning equiptment $270
boat and dock $5,728
dock with walkway $7,466 flashlights $460
tools $499, cooking pit $3359, barbecue smoker $1,992,
texas mesquite bench $3,992
The Links:
golf cart $7,101 clubs, covers and bags $3,625
The Trails:
mountain bike$2,700 helmets, gloves and other equiptment $532
Hunting:shotgun and accessories $14,153vest and binoculars $680
Fishing: rods, reeels, cases bait, etc. $4,966
this doesnt count the $1,500 pair of books given by President of Mexico and us and mexican flags for $1,800
or the boots from australian Prime Minister for $496 or the nice little painting from Saudi Prince Bandar bin Sultan...by C.M. Russell, for a cool $million and Mrs. Gump gets a some nice jewlry of diamonds and sapphires for $95,500...They say the large donations they dont get to keep theat they go to the national Archives....yeah, buddy...
Of course this doesnt count the stuff that people bring that no one says anything about....cause you know ole Prince who barbara bush refers to as another bush, give them stuff all the time and no one keeps tabs of it...Now, I have given this lots of though, this isnt something that I came up with willy nilly...there was serious thought given to what I think would make a great gift for our President Gump....and here is my idea for the perfect gift....a butt plug....to keep him from sticking his head up his ass all the time....thank you and good night....plese tip the waitress and drive carefully on your way home tonight folks...
When the kids were younger and we all lived at home and since I had been devoriced from the boys dad since they were 4 months and 22 months..and maryjo's dad left us when she was 14 months ..so I have been mom and dad..anyhow..They used to get me Father's Day gifts each fathers day...They would buy me the most god awful ugly ties you have ever seen with a happy fathers day card...even wrote about it to the waco paper and they did an article on it for fathers day...I like to think the kids should be grateful I was such a thom boy and knew all about sports or they would have been such wussy's..I have seen some boys raised by single mom's and they didnt know jack about sports or cars or things that dad's usually teach them..cause mom didnt know about sports or cars..I always thought maryjo should have turned out gay for the same reasons but she is still into males...even though she does live in san francisco..
so to all my blogging daddy's out there...HAPPY FATHERS DAY..
No they arent bringing it back ...yet...but with my constant pissing and moaning emails I have made a new friend..Mike at the comic section of the newspaper..He has been nice enough to answer my silly emails and assure me that no one is blowing me off but during the summer the chances of getting ballard street put back are slim..and to change it in anyway is like moving a battle ship...so he says...I am sure he wouldnt lie to me..he is a Bloom County fan also...and cant go wrong there...So even if they dont put Ballard Street back daily I can thanks to barbaraw47 to to the web site and read it each day...and I have a new friend..what else could a chubby old broad ask for..
In the Dallas am news for fathers day the have an article on rockand roll daddy''s and their sons..like walon jennings and shooter jennings...waylon, my personal favorite..I like his son Shooter too. He looks like his dad so much it hurts to look at him..but his daddy has the better voice...he also dates the girl that plays joey''s sister on Joey...little trivia..then they hadSteve Young and his son Jubal Lee Young... great names for their kids huh? Jubal Lee is more rock and roll than daddy..
Then there is Terry Allen and Bukka Allen...what a name to be hung with..Bukka...fucka bukka..dont you know he got razzed his entire school life.Then ole Jerry Jeff Walker and Django Walker..judas priest, what kind of drugs were these guys taking when they named their kids...I really like Django...and Jerry Jeff is another favorite of mine..Then Jimmie Dale Gilmore and his son Colin Gilmore...finally a normal name..Jimmy is more spiritual than the kid..music wise...but what a great thing to be able to pass down ..musical talent.. Know they all have big shoes to fill..I know I would give a buck eighty five to have waylon back for just one song...My favorite? Cedartown Georgia...
I have been commisioned to write an article for the west by god newspaper by henrietta the librarian..We have this great library and most of the people dont use it or even know it is there..so I had written an article about my great dane Baby. ...who adopted me...and henrietta thought since I did such a great job I should try my shot at writing about the library.so will do so..Speaking of Baby..now there was a dog...I went to the library one day and when I got out of the truck this horse came loaping up to me...I am 5''31/2" and he came up to my hips..all I could think of was "wow, this is one fucking big dog."..and he leaned up against me,almost knocking me down..and just sighed..like he had been waiting for me and there I was...I still had the truck door open and he jumped in and went to sleep on the seat...so I took him home with me...bought dog food from jupe''s mill where they ofered me hay for him..he weighed close to 150 lbs or better...I have a 4 ft. cyclone fence and he could sit on his butt and jump and clear in with feet to spare.
This gentle giant was absolutely the greatest dog ever...I figured out real fast that his old owner had a automatic as every time I went to shift the gears he would take his huge arm and pull it back to rest on his him...He wanted me to be touching him all the time...when in the truck..also he was a batchelor as he drank out of the toilet and only ate left overs...hated dog food..but with just me in the house there werent alot of left overs ..cooking for one..so I adventually got him eating dog food mixed with gravy...home made gravy...I had to take him everywhere withme as the one time I left him in the house he went thru the window...took out glass, screen and all...so where I went the babe went...I used to take the granddaughters to school and pick them up so they didnt have to ride the uncool bus..babe did not like having to ride in the back seat when the girls got in the truck...but he was so glad to see them he would jump right in the back when he saw them coming and then lean over the seat and lick them to death..he had a habit of leaving the house really early in the moring and I found out later that he had a routine that he kept to every morning..he would run down the stree to the post office..go in the back door and then go shake hands with all the postal people, then he would go with vanessa on her route for a while then he would lick her good by and go to nemecek''s meat market and get his moring snack from gwen..she would sit out side smoke her cigerette and give him cheese and crackers and some scraps...then he would come home..but evry morning schoold days we would pick up the girls and then in afternoon take them home..one day on my birthday the girls got a ride so I could sleep in...except noone told babe...so he ran to the school to get his hugs and kisses from the girls..he got in the school building and searched until he found the girls and let me tell you they were not to happy to see this huge horse of a dog come lumbering in their room and almost knocking them out of their chairs with joy...the school office called me and asked me to come get babe as some of the kids didnt know he was a gentle giant and were standing out in the school yard screaming in fear while babe ran circles around them...adventually the police got tired of bringing him home in the squad car and even though he was the most gentle dog he scared the shit out of people...so as much as it broke my heart one of the guys that works for the city of west lives on 22 acres and took him...he stayed there for about 3 months and then moved in with the people across the road as they let him in the house and he liked to sleep on the couch...but I still miss the babe and this has been almost 2 years now...dogs...man.they can steal your heart.
The library is hosting a reading program for the sumer...the annual West Accordion Squeeze-off is on June 25th, everyone is invited and encouraged to bring their accordians...First Methol\dist church is having vacation bible school..and something very interesting...a young teen dance, for the in-coming sixth grad through eighth grade students is planned for the 24th...$5 for kids and free for parents that would like to come...(they will all be down at wolf''s, coyote bobs or the spitoon cafe and bar getting drunk...)County row crop tours set for June 17th and 24th..each tour is to include a free noon meal and those attending with a pesticide license will receive three continuing education hours...(whoopie)West chambe of commerce has a luncheon for members where the new logo will be unveiled...Four west boy scouts are planning to go to new mexico and backpack...215 square miles in the mountain widerness in the Sangre de Cristo range in the rockies... that should be fun...free gun locks are now available to west residents..lots of congradulations posted to kids who graduated from college or university.. 2 new babies one of each...they will probably be married in 18 years..The urbanovsky family is having a reunion...lots and lots of them running around..The swimming pool(which is the 2nd largest outdoor pool in the state of texas and is over 50 years old)is having a hard rock extravanganza along with a washer and horseshoe tournament.My ex boyfriend and his band are playing at the shadowland. hmmmm. nah...
Jodie Mikula orchestra is playing at the B.V.M. Catholic church in penelope and they will have a polka mass at 10:30am..thre were 5 deaths...75, 93,88,16 and 17...too sad..
''85 grads are having a reunion...Jerry''s chicken shack is having a father''s day special...16 peices of chicken, 2 large side, 8 rolls and 1 gallon of tea for $20.99. St. Joseph''s in Elk, Texas is having their annual bbq picnic this sunday...with bingo childrens games, country store, raffle and plenty of ice cold beer...on the church grounds no less...heehee. i love texas...50 years ago 5 new babies were born here..and 50 years later the goddess took back 5...Willie Nelson''s home town of Abbott(9 miles down the road)is celebrating some kids that did good in uil Academic meet...There is a picture of a little girl two years old holding her "first fish"..she caught a 6-lb bass...i swear to the goddess her parents swear she caught it herself..using a scooby doo fishing pole and a top water lure Lacey mimicked her dad and mom..and when she got one dad pulled on the line and she reeled it in...they kept saying you got one, you got one...and I guess she was thinking toys, candy or something else besides the fish cause when she pulled it out the blood ddrained out of her face and she screamed and cried...now that''s funny
Food mart grocery has old milwaukee 12-pack for $4.99 boneless porkchops for $2.99lb..Community grocery has honeydews for $1.19 each...and eckrich chopped ham for $1.29 lb.
Seven garage sales...You can buy a 3 bed. 1 bath, large kitchen and living room, shaded backyard, and storage shed. for $59,900 right down the street from me..There is a 2-story 4 bed, 2 bath on 2 acres for sale, no price but it is on bugtusslelane...You can rent a 2bed 1 bathon one acre with a large laundry room for $6.50 If you are a rn supervisor, lvn, or certifed nurse aid, the west retirement home is hiring...You can also ge a job as insurance and billing click for a medical clinic..which is where the last one quit along with another girl cause the drs. wife got in a fight with her...i love west....
Jennette Karlics little article that she puts out each week talks about how we used to get free stuff in detergent. like hand towels, glass wear,and dishes...i remember that ..i also remember green stamps..
and there you have it ...another week in west...the excitement is about to kill me...and nothing on tv but reruns...so going to go finish halan Coben''s new book...ya''ll come back ya''hea...
