I swear, I am either in the early stages of old farts desease or.....I am in the early stages of older farts desease..I was sure I did a post on my trip to THE HOUSE OF SATAN, or as you all call it Wal-Mart...Got gift cirtificate for Christmas and wanted to get it over with as soon and as fast as possible..I am the type of shopper that knows what they want and go in and get it and go home.I don't fuck around, especially in THE HOUSE OF SATAN.So I hauled my ass the 17 miles to Bellmead where the nearest HOUSE OF SATAN is and grabbed a cart and off I went..Went directly to the dairy aisle and grabbed the big fat container of non-fat plain yogurt, zipped over to the shoe dept and grabbed a pair of 71/2 wide(have damaged nerve in right leg and foot and need room or my foot hurts really bad.)tennis shoes...tried on the right one..fit..threw shoes in basket...went to sewing area and snatched up some embrodery thread so I can make my friendship bracelets, looked at some nascar material looking for something that had matt or another of babs favorites on it..nope...so went to the fat womens dept...grabbed up a 48-dd bra..a package of panties in "man is your ass big" size..went to cat food dept. got some canned food that Rocky loved yesterday but will probably will hate the next day( i was right) and to stationary dept. and got a thingy of scotch tape for my football book.Went to 20 or less register, ran my gift card through...went to truck and got $5 worth of gas...I had .04 left on my card...was back in west in under 45 minutes....now that is a power shopper....Told you...I don't fuck around....shopping is all business...I be the shopping champion...
fuck me till I ring up "no sale"....
7 comments:
I love this post, I am still laughing!!! Great stuff. Hope you have a great 2006 and remember this.
Life is but a dream!
You and I would get along great on a shopping trip. Most people are all "Fa-la-la" but I'm with you get in, get it, get out!
Great story. lol. At least you're a fast shopper, slow shopping must be the worst thing humanly possible.
*Flashbacks to childhood*
*Shoe shopping with mother*
*Screaming*
*Deaths*
*Shudder*
Now I have stopped laughing I can see well enough to type this. Lady you crease me up!! You are awesome.
Now, wanna come do MY shopping? :D
I'm with you, that is the way to shop. Have your mission planned in advance. Run in prepared for battle. Attain items and get the fuck out.
What is browsing or window shopping? Fuck that. Power shopping. Get in, get out. Done.
House of Satan- LOL.... I never shop there either!
I always hate going to HOUSE OF SATAN but out where my mom used to live and also now in her nursing home they are the only thing in town! I hate what they have done to the economies in those towns! However, the last time I was there we bought my mom $350 worth of stuff, and they are good for getting everything in one stop. (My mom really needed some new stuff, and I hadn't been back in a long time.)
You are my kind of shopper.
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