I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Monday, December 12, 2005


my daddy was control tower chief at kelly air force base, san antonio, texas...we lived in the big white apts across from the tower when i was a kid..when we moved back again when i was 14 we lived in "kelly homes" and all the streets were named after planets..i lived on saturn and my boyfriend to become my first asshole husband, lived on mars...my girlfriend barbara ann lived on venus i think...hard to remember..i am old afterall...anyhow...she was the first one of us to get contact lenses...and they said if to becareful that if you got hit on the back of the head you could accidentally pop them out...well, we almost knocked her out everyday for about 2 weeks...we would sneak up behind her and pow..right in the back of the head and then check to see if she still had her contacts in...we finally gave up trying to knock her lenses out after the song barbara ann came out..we would follow here up and down the halls at thomas jefferson high school and sing ba ba ba ba ba baer annnnnnnnnnn...all fuckingday long...she hated us for the longest time..then we found someone else to pick on...and about this time i think i discovered and invented the first frisbee....husband to be and i had a song...every couple had a song...ours was "its all in the game" by tommy somebody...and one night husband (asshole number one) to be did something to piss me off and i went to school the next day and side armed that 45 record at him ..he was about 3/4's of the way down the hall and that thing damn near took his head off...i laughed soo hard..he was pissed then..but i didnt care..was so funny...even if i did spend the rest of the day in principle's office..
when i look back at my checkered past..i see that i have always been nuts...this wasent a gradual process that took shape over time...i was nuts from the gitgo..i just got better...


Cassandra said...

You and I could share some stories!!!!
I spent a lot of time in the Dean's office in high school!!

soonerfan78 said...

I remeber one time me and my first wife were arguing and she threatened to hit me with a spatula from about 30 feet, I dared her and smirked, there comes the windup, the pitch....high fastball...it is impossible to throw a bent spatula at a target, bitch hit me dead center right between the eyes, took out a little divot of flesh about where an India Indian would have a cast mark. Then she called me dothead. Bitch.