SHARP AS A GOAT HEAD

memories are made of this....the summer when i was 8 (turned 9 before christmas), some smart ass kid told me there was no santa claus...man, was i upset..so i proceded to do what i always did when i was upset..i kicked the crap out of the little weasel....wailed on his head til he said he lied and had made it all up....but in my heart....i knew it was true..but i spoke this to no one...nary a sole knew of this secret that burned a hole in my little pea brain...so ...comes christmas...do i tell daddy and mother i know there is no santa claus? not on your life...so christmas eve after finally falling to sleep i was jolted out of the bed by a crash from the living room..so i tip toed to the door of my bedroom and peeked out and what do i see.....? daddy putting together my bike that i had asked santa claus for...hmmmmm. now you also have to know that as wonderful and smart as my daddy was, he didnt know a hammer from a screwdriver...so this assembling took most of the night and part of a bottle of whiskey... finally he reeded off to bed with my new bike all together..(soon to be named blossom bailey roycroft)...i stared at that bike for the longest time..and then said..fuckit..and snuck into the living room and took it for a ride in the living room...sooooo cool...and then...bam i hit the end table and knocked the lamp off and it broke on the floor..im telling you i was tucked in bed faking sleep like a little angel before the lamp hit the floor...that morning when i was called to come see what santa had brought me for christmas...i was met by mom and daddy and the new bike...and the broken lamp...and jackie who could never lie to her daddy...replied, when asked about the broke lamp...well..i looked daddy right in the eye and said "santa must have done it when he was putting it together for me last night"....gotcha daddy...he never said a word and neither did i...